THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT

*CUT TO THE CHASE*

NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy

The film starts with a young woman, Maria Delgado (Katrin Vankova) and her boyfriend watching “Con Air” when masked men break into their home. The boyfriend is killed, and while Maria makes a run for it, she is punched in the face and knocked out cold before being abducted.

In Hollywood, Nicolas Cage (playing a fictionalized version of himself) approaches a director (David Gordon Green) to read for a movie role. The director doesn’t want to hear anything, but Nick begins to do an impassioned reading of the dialogue out in public, which actually impresses the director. Nick has hit a speed bump in his career, as he hasn’t had a good role in a while and is running out of money fast. He also speaks to a young version of himself, Nicky, who reminds him that might be past his prime. On top of all that, Nick has a strained relationship with his ex-wife Olivia (Sharon Horgan) and their daughter Addy (Lily Sheen), because Nick is always making Addy do things that he wants and never takes her feelings into account.

Nick hangs out at a spa with his agent, Richard Fink (Neil Patrick Harris), expressing how much he needs this role. They get their backs whipped with branches, while Richard tells Nick about a million dollar offer to go for a birthday party, but Nick is not amused or interested. Richard reminds him that he is $600,000 in debt after saying at the Sunset Tower for over a year, but Nick is confident that this role is in the bag for him.

Nick later goes to a birthday party for Addy, where he receives a phone call from Richard telling him that the role went to someone else. Disappointed and infuriated, Nick hijacks the party and embarrasses Addy when he begins to get on the piano and rant before performing a song that he came up with. Olivia drives him home and tells him he needs to get his shit together. Feeling defeated, Nick goes to his room, where he calls Richard and says he will take the birthday gig and will quit acting afterwards.

Nick is flown to an island, where two CIA agents, Martin (Ike Barinholtz) and Vivian (Tiffany Haddish), are expecting to find a local crime boss, but are instead surprised to see Nick there. Seeing an opportunity, Vivian approaches Nick as a fan and slips a tracker into his jacket pocket, despite Martin’s protests. Nick is then taken via speedboat to the compound of the fan who hired him, Javi Gutierrez (Pedro Pascal). Javi has an idea for a script that he wants Nick to be involved with, and he tells his wife Gabriela (Alessandra Mastronardi) how he hopes Nick will read it.

Javi attempts to bond with Nick, but he is mostly wasting his time there until he gets paid and can slip into obscurity. Gabriela then makes Nick join Javi on a hike to see the cliffs. While out there, Javi starts saying something that sounds urgent, but he is really coming up with a scene from his script. Nick is not interested, but Javi reminds him of why he got into acting and how he’s great at it, so Nick goes along with it and they both take a high jump off the cliffs into the ocean. When they get back to shore, they actually start to bond as Nick opens up to Javi. They discuss their favorite movies, including one of Nick’s personal favorites, “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari”, while Javi recommends “Paddington 2”. Nick is surprised but is won over by the film as Javi shows it to him, both of them agreeing it’s a masterpiece.

Later, Nick is hauled into a van by other agents led by Vivian and Martin. Vivian explains to Nick that Javi is being accused of kidnapping Maria, as she is the daughter of the Catalonian president who is against crime in the country, and the kidnappers are hoping that this will influence him to drop out of the race. The agents want Nick to get close to Javi and prove that he kidnapped Maria. While Nick doesn’t want any part of this, Vivian gets in his head by reminding him that Maria is close to Addy’s age, and makes him think about how he would feel if she were in that position. Nick reluctantly agrees to go along with the plan.

During a party thrown by Javi, Nick is tasked with attempting to knock Javi out with a special toxin. Unfortunately, Nick accidentally rubs the toxin onto his head and is starting to become paralyzed. Vivian and Martin guide Nick away from an incoming guard to get him to the room where the antidote is, but Nick appears to pass out before he can inject himself. Vivian thinks quickly and yells “Action!”, prompting Nick’s acting instincts to kick in and give him the rush to stick himself with the antidote, and he is able to rig the camera’s in the house as he was tasked to do. However, she tells Nick that they need him to stick around longer. Nick goes down to the party and announces to everyone that he will be involved in Javi’s screenplay, to Javi’s delight.

The next day, Javi gives Nick LSD, and they go around town tripping out. They spot two guys that they think are watching them, causing them to run around in paranoia. When they go back to Javi’s compound, Nick finds a secret room, thinking that is where Maria might be kept, but Javi shows him that it’s a personal room filled with memorabilia from past Cage movies, like a chainsaw from “Mandy”, the pearls from “The Rock”, posters of “National Treasure”, and a life-like statue of Nick in “Face/Off”. Nick is impressed and later reports back to Vivian, saying that he doesn’t think Javi is a kidnapper, but she urges him to remain close to him and try to work the kidnapping into the script in case he may give up Maria’s location.

When Nick tries to incorporate the kidnapping subplot into the script, Javi takes it as Nick feeling guilty about his relationship with Addy, so he has her and Olivia flown out to the island to try and reconnect with them. They are both freaked out by what is going on and are not willing to listen to Nick, thinking this is just another dumb ploy in his attempt to restart his career.

Javi later meets with his cousin Lucas (Paco Leon), who says that Nick is working with the CIA. He also reveals that he is the one who kidnapped Maria under orders of mobster Sergio Ballisari (the guy that Martin and Vivian were tracking), and Lucas orders Javi to deal with Nick personally, or Lucas will kill Javi himself.

Vivian orders Nick to get close to Javi and take him out himself so that the CIA can arrange for him and his family to be safely taken out of there. Nick tries to tell the truth to Olivia, who thinks he is suffering a nervous breakdown.

Nick and Javi drive together into the woods for a final confrontation, but they have grown so close to each other that neither of them can bring themselves to kill one another. Lucas sends his men after them, forcing Nick and Javi to fight them off. When they return to the house, Olivia tells Nick that Addy has been kidnapped. Gabriela joins them as Nick calls Vivian, who tells him that the villains are going to use Addy to get the U.S. to back off their support of President Delgado. Making things more complicated, Lucas’s men have already reached Vivian after killing Martin. Vivian shoots the guards before taking a fatal bullet wound herself.

Nick and the others devise a plan to get the girls back. Nick and Olivia go in disguise to get close to Lucas. Nick digs deep within himself to use his acting abilities to overpower the villains, and they manage to locate Maria and Addy, taking them away to safety, with Nick using the golden guns that were with his “Face/Off” statue. Everyone starts driving through the streets with Lucas chasing after them. They drive to the U.S. Embassy where they are met by armed guards. Lucas holds Nick at gunpoint, but Maria finds a hidden knife and gives it to Addy, who then throws it to Nick, and he stabs Lucas in the chest with it.

A year later, Javi’s film is made with Nick in the lead role, and Demi Moore playing Olivia. The film is a huge hit and puts Nick back on the map. He finds Javi after the movie, where they express pride in the film and hug. Nick later goes home with Olivia and Addy, and he watches “Paddington 2” with Addy, their relationship now better than before.

Legendary actor Nicolas Cage has hit a rough patch in his career, seeing very little roles and drowning in debt, while also suffering a bad relationship with his ex-wife Olivia and their daughter Addy. An opportunity presents itself when Nick is offered $1 million to show up for a birthday. He is taken to an island where he meets a superfan named Javi Gutierrez, who wants Nick to help make a screenplay of his own creation. Nick and Javi bond and become close friends.

The CIA ropes Nick into their plans since they think Javi has kidnapped a young woman named Maria, who is the daughter of the Catalonian president that is against crime, and the hope is for him to drop out of the re-election campaign. As Nick gets closer to Javi, he realizes that he cannot be responsible. Javi even flies Olivia and Addy out to the island to try and reconcile with Nick, but they think it's just one of his lame ploys to revive his career. Javi learns that his cousin Lucas is the true villain working for a notorious crime boss, and he kidnaps Addy to make things more complicated.

Nick teams up with Javi, Olivia, and Javi's wife Gabriela to rescue the girls by tapping into his true acting abilities. They save the girls and Nick kills Lucas. The adventure is later made into a real film, which helps revive Nick's career, and his relationship with Addy is better. He and Javi also remain friends.