NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy

The film starts with Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) bringing viewers up to speed on what has been going on in Zombieland since he and his friends were last seen. They have begun to give codenames to specific zombies when going out to kill them. Slow and fat ones are referred to as “Homers”, the smarter ones are “Hawkings”, and the sneaky ones are “Ninjas”.

Columbus, Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Wichita (Emma Stone), and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) slaughter a whole pack of zombies in front of the White House before deciding to make themselves comfortable inside. They spend a long time in there as they make it their home, but eventually, Little Rock becomes bored and wishes to find other survivors her own age. She is also not pleased with Tallahassee still treating her like a child. Columbus and Wichita understand Little Rock’s frustration, but they have been deliberately avoiding contact with potential survivors. Meanwhile, the two of them are still going as a couple, but when Columbus decides to propose to Wichita with the Hope Diamond, she becomes unsure and hesitant.

In the morning, Columbus and Tallahassee find a note from the sisters that states that they have left with Tallahassee’s truck, The Beast. Columbus is left dejected and disappointed. On the road, Wichita and Little Rock encounter a survivor, a hippie named Berkeley (Avan Jogia).

After spending a month together, the guys explore a mall where they find some zombies. They kill them and find a survivor, dumb blonde Madison (Zoey Deutch). She is excited to not only find a survivor, but one that is a guy. Columbus convinces a reluctant Tallahassee to bring Madison back home with them. She attempts to seduce Columbus, but he is not ready since he still misses Wichita. When Madison threatens to sleep with Tallahassee, Columbus seizes the opportunity.

Not long after, the guys hear a noise in the place and discover Wichita has returned to get some guns. She informs them that Little Rock has run off with Berkeley to Graceland in The Beast, which already pisses off Tallahassee, but the final straw for him is when Wichita mentions that Berkeley is a pacifist. Wichita then finds that Columbus is now with Madison, and she is NOT amused. The four then head off to find Little Rock. However, Tallahassee is displeased to find that Wichita’s ride is a minivan, which he strictly refuses to drive.

The four come across two potential new vehicles – an ice cream truck with a clown on it, or a tour bus. As Columbus is deathly afraid of clowns, they opt for the tour bus. While walking toward it, Columbus and Wichita discuss how they only became a couple because they could only find each other in this apocalyptic wasteland. Madison opens the door of the tour bus, which attracts the attention of zombies. The other three arm themselves to fight back, and one zombie almost bites Madison’s foot before Columbus kills it. They then come across a zombie who isn’t immediately killed with a double tap, so it has to take more shots until Tallahassee stomps its head in. These harder-to-kill zombies are nicknamed “T-800s”. The gang then takes the bus, but their tires get blown out by road spikes. Since Columbus refuses the ice cream truck, they are forced to keep riding the minivan.

Little Rock and Berkeley ride The Beast while smoking Berkeley’s weed. He also claims to be a songwriter, but is just singing songs that were already popular before.

On the road, Madison starts to get sick. She starts puking and her skin start looking rotten. They pull over, and Columbus follows her into the woods. She claims to be fine but starts looking more and more like a zombie. He has no choice but to shoot her before going back to Tallahassee and Wichita.

The trio make it to Graceland but can’t stop Little Rock or The Beast. They drive until they see lights at the Hounddog Hotel, an Elvis-themed spot. They find The Beast parked outside. They enter the place and meet Nevada (Rosario Dawson), who draws her gun on the trio until she learns they are harmless. She tells Wichita that Little Rock and Berkeley took off earlier that morning but left The Beast there. Nevada also knows about the slaying of Bill Murray, but isn’t aware that it was Columbus’s fault. She allows the three to stay there for the night. Tallahassee bonds with Nevada over their shared love of Elvis.

Berkeley continues the drive with Little Rock, as he explains to her that they are going to Babylon, a safe haven for zombie survivors. When they get there, Little Rock is forced to give up her guns since Babylon has a strict no-guns policy, so they melt the weapons down.

The next day, Tallahassee goes outside to find a monster truck driving onto The Beast. Stepping out of the truck are Albuquerque (Luke Wilson) and Flagstaff (Thomas Middleditch), who are both essentially dopplegangers of Tallahassee and Columbus. Tallahassee and Albuquerque butt heads while Columbus and Flagstaff compare their sets of rules, or “commandments” in Flagstaff’s case. After hanging out for a bit, some T-800 zombies start attacking the monster truck. Albuquerque and Flagstaff head out to kill them and seemingly come back victorious, until they are shown to have been bitten and quickly morph into the same super zombies. Tallahasse smashes Albuqueque’s head with a guitar while Nevada finishes off Flagstaff with a headshot. Tallahassee asks if it was “Zombie Kill of the Year”, but Columbus says that honor goes to an Italian man who dropped the Leaning Tower of Pisa onto some zombies.

The trio prepare to head off to continue their search for Babylon. Tallahassee and Nevada part ways with a kiss. On the way, they find that Madison is still alive and driving the ice cream truck. It turns out she just had an allergic reaction to eating nuts and Columbus shot over her head.

The gang arrives at Babylon, where they also have to give up their weapons. They find Little Rock as well. She seems fine staying there and doesn’t think her friends would fit there. That night, Tallahassee decides the others should stay in Babylon while he heads off on his own. He bids his friends farewell, but as he drives away, he notices many T-800 zombies heading toward Babylon, as they are attracted by the fireworks that are popping off. He runs back to warn everyone, and he tells them they need to fight back. Since there are absolutely no weapons in the place, Tallahassee comes up with a plan to light the zombies up with biodiesel fuel and fireworks. The gang lures the zombies with the lights before getting ready to light up the bio fuel tank. It causes a huge explosion, but it’s not enough to kill the massive horde of zombies. The main four accept their fate and huddle together, right before Nevada shows up in the nick of time and runs over some zombies with the monster truck. The gang hopes in the truck, but the zombies flip it over and they have to keep running.

Tallhassee puts a second plan into effect by having himself and the group run up to the top of the highest tower in Babylon. The survivors form a path with shields as the zombies chase Tallahassee. He leaps over the edge and grabs onto a hook while the super zombies plummet to their deaths. Two stragglers grab onto Tallahassee’s leg, making him almost slip until Little Rock pulls out a pistol and kills them. They pull Tallahassee back to safety. In the aftermath, Wichita decides to accept Columbus’s proposal. Tallahassee and Nevada get together while Little Rock breaks up with Berkeley so he can hook up with Madison.

The gang, now joined by Nevada, leaves Babylon to continue their journey on the road. Columbus states that he no longer has to keep searching for a home, because his home is right there with his friends. They drive off as they are chased by a zombie.

A mid-credits scene shows Day Zero of the zombie apocalypse in 2009, with Bill Murray doing a press junket for a third Garfield movie. Soon, Al Roker and his co-hosts become zombies, and Bill swings into action by knocking all the zombies’ heads in.

Brought to you by

In the years since they became a makeshift family, zombie apocalypse survivors Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock continue to travel across Zombieland for any place to call home. However, Little Rock becomes annoyed at Tallahassee still treating her like a child, while Wichita becomes startled when Columbus tries to propose to her. The sisters run away together, leaving Columbus and Tallahassee alone. They find another survivor, Madison, and Columbus hooks up with her. Wichita returns when she tells the guys that Little Rock ran away with a hippie named Berkeley, forcing the guys and Madison to join in getting Little Rock back.

On the road, Madison appears to get bitten by a zombie and seemingly morphs into one, which causes Columbus to have to shoot her. The three then go to Graceland where they meet Nevada, who runs an Elvis-themed hotel. They also meet Albuquerque and Flagstaff, who are almost exactly identical to Tallahassee and Columbus. They fight off stronger, harder-to-kill zombies, leading Albuquerque and Flagstaff to morph into them and get killed. As Columbus, Tallahassee, and Wichita continue their trip, they encounter Madison still alive (she just had a violent allergic reaction).

The gang drives to Babylon, a safe haven for zombie survivors where Berkeley has taken Little Rock. Tallahassee decides to leave his friends there until he sees that zombies are heading there are being attracted to fireworks. They come up with a plan to blow up the zombies with fireworks and a fuel tank, but there are too many of them to kill. Nevada saves the group, and Tallahassee leads the zombies up to a tower, causing them to fall to their deaths.

In the end, Columbus and Wichita are engaged, Tallahassee and Nevada get together, and Little Rock rejoins her friends while Madison stays in Babylon with Berkeley.

A credits scene reveals that the zombie apocalypse began the day Bill Murray started promoting a third Garfield movie.