PROBLEMISTA

*CUT TO THE CHASE*

NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy

The film opens in El Salvador, with the narrator (Isabella Rosselini) describing young Alejandro Martinez’s (Logan J Alarcon-Poucel) life living with his mother Dolores (Catalina Saavedra). She is an artist who encourages her son’s imagination, but also worries about him. This is visualized as Alejandro approaching a cave while wearing all blue and staring into the glowing red eyes of a terrifying monster.

In the present day, Alejandro (Julio Torres) lives in Bushwick with roommates while hoping to work as a toy developer for Hasbro. One of the roommates, Spray (Spike Einbinder), always invites Alejandro to go out, but he remains focused on his work and staying in the country. He has ideas for odd but unique toys, such as a Barbie that has her fingers crossed behind her back, Cabbage Patch kids that have smartphones with special messages or pictures, a Slinky that doesn’t go downstairs easily, and a toy car that gets a flat tire. Alejandro’s application is ultimately denied.

Alejandro takes a job working as an archivist for a company called FreezeCorp. He is assigned to look after a cryogenically frozen artist named Bobby Asencio (RZA). In the 90’s, Bobby was diagnosed with cancer just before he was hoping to debut a showcase of his paintings, which are all drawings of eggs. Bobby’s stubborn and abrasive wife Elizabeth (Tilda Swinton) is frequently at FreezeCorp to oversee her husband’s well-being, and she briefly meets Alejandro after learning he is working in Bobby’s room.

On his first day, Alejandro accidentally unplugs a blue cable to Bobby’s pod, which is found out by his supervisor, who then reports it to the boss, Sharon (Kelly McCormack). She has Alejandro fired even though nothing bad actually happened. He runs into Elizabeth again after she chews Sharon out for not letting her go to Bobby’s pod. As they leave, Elizabeth offers Alejandro an opportunity to work as her assistant to document Bobby’s 13 egg paintings for an art show, and she would sponsor Alejandro in return. However, Alejandro goes to his immigration consultant, Mr. Khalil (Laith Nakli), who tells him he cannot accept payment from Elizabeth until she officially sponsors him, and he has 30 days to make it happen or he will be deported.

When Elizabeth tasks Alejandro with organizing Bobby’s work onto the program FileMaster Pro, Alejandro cannot bring himself to admit to her that he has no idea how to use it. Meanwhile, he starts to take several odd jobs from Craigslist, always represented by an eccentric man (Larry Owens) presenting the jobs to Alejandro. He also starts subletting his room to a wannabe actor named Travis (Theo Maltz).

In addition to Elizabeth’s difficult behavior, Alejandro also finds that she has hired a second assistant, Bingham (James Scully), who already comes from money but is trying to further his own art career. While Bingham says that Elizabeth is a “monster”, Alejandro says he disagrees.

Elizabeth finds that one of Bobby’s paintings, “Blue Egg on Yellow Satin”, is missing since it is in the possession of one of his former students, Dalia Park (Greta Lee). Bobby and Dalia had an affair before he became frozen, and Elizabeth retaliated by writing a venomous review of one of Dalia’s art shows, which hurt her art career. Alejandro and Elizabeth visit Dalia in her apartment, where they give her a letter written by Elizabeth (a flashback shows it was actually Alejandro and he didn’t let her read it beforehand), expressing sincere regret for ruining her career and forgiving her and Bobby for the affair. Dalia is moved to tears and lets them take the painting.

During another meeting with Khalil, Alejandro helps a Hispanic woman who cannot speak English to resolve an issue with getting her papers delivered directly to the office instead of her own home since she is not living in her own residence. Khalil later suggests Alejandro work as a paralegal there, as it would secure him a visa and he is seen as a hard worker.

Alejandro encounters problems when trying to ship the paintings overnight, as he has an overdraft balance of over $-400. When he tries to call the bank, the representative tells him there is nothing she can do. Alejandro pleads with her (seen as him in a cave dressed as a knight and buried under a pile of rocks), seemingly almost getting through to her, but she remains firm in her position with the bank. When he returns home, Alejandro learns from one of Spray’s friends that Hasbro has started to produce the Cabbage Patch Kids with smartphones that he previously pitched. He tries to email the company but never gets a response.

Desperate for money, Alejandro takes one last Craigslist job that he had been actively avoiding: being a cleaning boy for someone with a kink who wants to watch him clean while nude. Alejandro does the job and gets a blowjob from the guy. Alejandro gets paid after awkwardly trying to kiss the guy.

Elizabeth later angrily calls Alejandro because he never organized Bobby’s database on FileMaster, and she plans to have Bingham do the rest of the work. Later, Alejandro gets a call from an art gallery in Roosevelt Island, as they have decided to do a solo show for Bobby’s paintings at the last minute. When he calls Elizabeth back to tell her the news, she responds negatively since it’s not a high-end art gallery. She begins to rage against Alejandro again, bringing to mind that Elizabeth’s nickname in the art world is “The Hydra” (a flashback with Bobby shows him saying “you fix one problem, she gives you two more”), but Alejandro gets her to shut up and accept the offer.

The next day, Alejandro and Elizabeth gather all of the paintings and take the tramway, only for Elizabeth to realize too late that they left “Blue Egg on Yellow Satin” back at the station. Elizabeth throws a tantrum until she forces the conductor to turn the tram back so she can pick up the painting.

When the two arrive at the gallery, they find that they only have a small wall to themselves that will not fit all thirteen paintings. Before Elizabeth can rage out again, Alejandro gets her to calmly agree that the other paintings be displayed elsewhere to ensure that they do not have to compromise Bobby’s show. All the paintings end up getting sold, and Alejandro and Elizabeth privately spend time together where she opens up to him about if Bobby will still want to be with her when he is unfrozen.

Alejandro has a phone call with Dolores, confident that he has just secured a sponsor. Then he gets a long voice message from Elizabeth, announcing that she will have her body cryogenically frozen to be with Bobby when he is unfrozen. Before ending the message, she gives Alejandro the name of an employee at Hasbro that he must speak to if he wants to resolve the issue of having his idea stolen and to finally stand up for himself. Alejandro then fears that his time is up (shown as an hourglass with his name on it running out of sand).

Alejandro goes to Hasbro and directly confronts Brian Kissane (Miles G. Jackson), the executive responsible for signing off on the Cabbage Patch Kids idea. Alejandro threatens to present evidence that the idea was his unless Brian ensures that Alejandro will get a job and sponsorship, but also credit for the idea. Brian has no choice but to comply. In celebration, Alejandro and Dolores begin to work on new toy ideas.

The film then jumps over 300 years into the future, with FreezerCorp unfreezing everybody and getting them ready for a ceremony to welcome them to the future. Elizabeth is still cantankerous, and Bobby doesn’t seem too thrilled to be dealing with this again. During the ceremony, Elizabeth starts to complain to the bartender about serving her before the speeches are up. An elderly Alejandro (Carlos Navedo), who froze himself not too long before, then recognizes her and starts walking toward her. One person recognizes Alejandro as being the designer of a successful toy line, “My Little Problems”. Elizabeth then recognizes Alejandro…and the first thing she does is complain that the databases are disorganized. Alejandro tells her that he learned how to use FileMaster, and the databases are, in fact, fine. As a stunned Elizabeth looks upon her old friend, the narrator concludes by showing that in the end, Alejandro really did go out into the world, dressed in all blue, and stared the monster in the eyes.

Alejandro Martinez is a Salvadoran immigrant hoping to work for Hasbro to design new toy ideas. After he is rejected, he takes a job at a company that cryogenically freezes people. Alejandro is fired on his first day after accidentally unplugging a tube to the artist he is assigned to, Bobby Asencio. While nothing happens, Alejandro ends up getting hired by Bobby's demanding wife Elizabeth as an assistant to help put together a showcase of Bobby's egg paintings, with the promise of getting sponsorship for his visa.

While helping Elizabeth, Alejandro juggles various odd jobs to make money. He helps Elizabeth secure a painting that one of Bobby's former students, Dalia, was in possession of, and Alejandro must force Elizabeth to reconcile with Dalia since she and Bobby had an affair, and Elizabeth retaliated with a scathing review of one of Dalia's shows, which ruined her art career.

Eventually, Alejandro gets Bobby's works a spot at a gallery in Roosevelt Island, which Elizabeth isn't too happy with at first because it's not an esteemed gallery, but Alejandro convinces her to go through with it. Even though all the paintings cannot be put up, they all get sold. Thinking Elizabeth will now sponsor him, Alejandro is stunned to discover that she is going to freeze herself to be with Bobby when he wakes up, but she gives him the name of a Hasbro executive who stole one of Alejandro's toy ideas and had it made. Alejandro finally stands up for himself and confronts the executive, which secures him a job and sponsorship.

300 years into the future, everyone who was cryogenically frozen is woken up. Elizabeth and Bobby are reunited, and an elderly Alejandro, who went on to become a successful toy designer with his mother, goes to see his old friend once again.