HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD

*CUT TO THE CHASE*

NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy

The film opens with Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) arriving at the Triple A Bodyguard Awards, something he has been looking forward to for a long time. As he accepts his award, he finds none other than Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson) cackling at him. Bryce realizes he is in a nightmare, as he sees his doomed client Kurosawa (Tsuwayuki Saotome) talking to him before Darius once again blows his brains out before going for Bryce.

Bryce is in therapy talking about this recurring nightmare, still in despair over not being a bodyguard anymore. The therapist (Rebecca Front) tries to convince him that he doesn’t need to be a bodyguard to feel fulfilled, and she encourages him to take a sabbatical. Bryce reluctantly agrees.

At a meeting of the European Nation, the head of the EU announces that they will impose more sanctions on Greece. The man’s bodyguards are killed, and he is taken hostage to Athens, where riots are already taking place in the streets. He is confronted by criminal boss Aristotle Papadopolous (Antonio Banderas). Aristotle announces his plans to bring all of Europe down as soon as the sanctions go into effect, and he has his men suffocate the EU head with a plastic bag.

Bryce is at a resort trying to take the sabbatical seriously. This is quickly ruined by Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek), who pulls Bryce away as gunmen storm the resort. Sonia shoots some of them down as she explains to Bryce that Kincaid has been taken by the mob, and that he specifically requested Bryce’s help. They get away on a motorcycle, shooting more bad guys before finally making their getaway.

Aristotle’s minions Magnusson (Tom Hopper) and Veronika (Gabriella Wright) meet with weapons dealers in Croatia as they present to them a device that Aristotle has had his eye on. After activating it, the power grid in the area is blown out, causing chaos across the city and causing multiple fatalities. Aristotle is impressed with the weapon and then orders Magnusson and Veronika to kill the dealers and take the weapon.

The next day, the weapons dealers are found by an Interpol team. American agent Bobby O’Neill (Frank Grillo) is met by his superior Crowley (Caroline Goodall), and O’Neill informs her that one of the victims is a known arms dealer. Crowley orders O’Neill to find the weapon that the killers took, and O’Neill may return home to Boston as he has been wanting. She also forces him to work with her translator, Aislo (Alice McMillan), whom he mocks for her name and Scottish accent.

Bryce and Sonia find the mobsters that have taken Kincaid. Despite Bryce trying to take a simple approach, Sonia enters and kills some of the henchmen. Meanwhile, Kincaid is brought before mob boss Carlo, who has a grudge against the hitman for killing his men. Sonia soon comes in guns blazing as she kills more of Carlo’s henchmen, leaving Kincaid an opportunity to break free and kill the remaining men, including Carlo. Although Kincaid is elated to see Sonia, he is none too pleased to see Bryce, as he apparently told Sonia to get help from anybody BUT Bryce. The former bodyguard is likewise not the least bit happy to see Kincaid either. When Kincaid and Sonia appear to prepare to ditch Bryce, they are both captured, and Bryce is tased before getting taken in too.

The three are brought before O’Neill, who knows who they all are and berates them for killing Carlo, since he was an informant who was going to get O’Neill close to getting the mastermind behind the cyber attacks. O’Neill forces the trio to work for him and get close to the target by having Sonia pose as Carlo’s mistress, and Bryce as her bodyguard.

Before going on their mission, Sonia becomes suspicious about Kincaid since the reason he was taken in the first place was because he left on their honeymoon for what he claims is a job he is on. Sonia attempts to hit Kincaid with their car but ends up ramming into Bryce and flings him up into the air. Kincaid then surprises Sonia with tickets to see “Carmen” at the opera, and they proceed to have a romantic afternoon with some money given to them by O’Neill that is supposed to be for emergencies. All the while, they keep Bryce locked up in the trunk until he regains consciousness. He starts to yell at Kincaid and Sonia until she tells him that they are trying to start a family. Bryce lies and says she would make a great mother.

The trio proceeds to the mission, where Bryce and Sonia go into a club to meet with their mark, a man named Vlad (Dragan Micanovic), while Kincaid is outside on sniper duty. Vlad gives Sonia a briefcase to deliver to Aristotle, with a bracelet that will explode if separated from the briefcase. Their cover is blown when Bryce’s former client Seifert (Richard E. Grant) shows up high off his ass and refers to him by name. Vlad and his guys look Bryce up and mock him for being a former bodyguard, while Vlad makes the fatal mistake of calling Sonia old. She goes ballistic, which leads to her and Kincaid killing Vlad’s guys in the club all while trying to keep the briefcase close so Sonia doesn’t blow up. After she kills Vlad, one gunman remains, and Bryce pushes Sonia out of the way while taking the buckshot himself. Sonia kills the gunman and drags Bryce out to the boat where they escape.

O’Neill and Aislo come across agents near a crime scene. He creates a diversion to swipe a paper that details the superweapon that Aristotle has gotten, which is a massive drill that will be used to wipe out Europe’s whole power grid.

Kincaid and Sonia believe Bryce is dead, so they dump him in the water. He revives soon after and reveals he was wearing Kevlar. The three then take the briefcase and locate Aristotle in Italy as he is making a public appearance. Bryce recognizes Magnusson as a top-ranking bodyguard, while Kincaid notices Aristotle has his own hitman, Zento (Kristofer Kamiyasu), who has taken some of Kincaid’s business. Bryce complains about broken ribs sustained from the buckshot, so Sonia gives him what she says are painkillers. Magnusson spots the trio and gives Zento the cue to shoot them. The trio flee the scene and are pursued by Magnusson and other gunmen. Bryce then starts to get woozy because the pills Sonia gave him were actually lithium. He loses consciousness, so Kincaid and Sonia drive maniacally through the streets before managing to get rid of the gunmen, all while Bryce is tossed around in the back and bangs around several items.

After escaping the villains, Bryce snaps at Kincaid and Sonia for getting him into so much trouble. He even offends Sonia when he calls her crazy and says she would be a terrible mother. Bryce then asks around for a sign, all of which seem to convince him to head to Tuscany. The trio head there to meet his stepfather, Bryce Senior (Morgan Freeman), who taught Bryce everything he knows about being a bodyguard and is a top notch bodyguard himself. Kincaid is surprised that Bryce has a black father. Senior invites the trio to a meal, but things go bad when he brings out gelato. After Bryce walks away feeling triggered, Senior explains to Kincaid and Sonia that when Bryce was a child, he was close with his mother, but while out at a carnival, he went to get gelato when an obese man fell from a ride and crashed into his mother, sending her flying into a grisly death by hitting another ride, leaving Bryce to blame himself for what happened. Sonia goes to talk to Bryce and assumes that his anger towards her and Kincaid was a parental issue, and she forgives him. Senior then lets Bryce take his car to complete their mission.

The trio drive away to a safe location, where they are unfortunately tranquilized and captured by Aristotle’s minions. When he confronts them, it is revealed that he has a history with Sonia, as she was apparently his lover before she fell off his yacht and developed amnesia, but really he was just another man that she conned. Aristotle sends Bryce and Kincaid away to get tortured while he reacquaints himself with Sonia and promises to give her a family. He also takes the device from the briefcase that will activate the superweapon, and he removes the bracelet from Sonia’s wrist. Aristotle then claims he knows why Kincaid was really away during their honeymoon – he was at a fertility clinic because Sonia is apparently barren. Meanwhile, Bryce and Kincaid are interrogated, but Bryce manages to create a distraction to allow them to escape and kill the torturers. After killing more henchmen, Bryce and Kincaid try to get Sonia, but she appears to turn on them and declare that their time together is over. The two flee from the gunmen and split up.

Bryce returns to his dad’s home to ask for help, only to learn that Senior is Aristotle’s own bodyguard. Senior berates Bryce and calls him a stain on his legacy. In retaliation, Bryce destroys his dad’s car. He goes to a bar where Kincaid is drinking after having started a bar brawl. The bartender then picks up the phone and tells Kincaid that Sonia is calling, somehow having tracked him. She informs him that Aristotle has sent a kill squad to go after them. Gunmen then fire upon the bar, which prompts Bryce and Kincaid to drive away again. They kill and evade more gunmen but crash their car, with Bryce getting knocked into the river by other thugs that Kincaid kills.

In the morning, Kincaid brings Bryce to safety and gets him pumped up enough to go for the final showdown to rescue Sonia. Kincaid then also reveals to Bryce that the reason that he and Sonia are having trouble conceiving his because he was shot in the balls a while back by none other than Bryce during a mission when Bryce was still a bodyguard. Interpol finds them moments later. They speak to Crowley and convince two agents to join them in their mission.

Bryce and Kincaid use the Interpol agents as decoys since Senior’s security team is after them. The two kill more bad guys until they make it to the yacht above the spot in the ocean where Aristotle plans to set off the drill and wipe out the European power grid. Aristotle learns that Bryce and Kincaid are nearby, so he sends Magnusson after Bryce, and Zento after Kincaid. Bryce engages in a long fight with Magnusson before smashing his head inside a jukebox, while Kincaid kills Zento with a ricochet bullet. Aristotle leaves Sonia to be killed by Veronika while he fights Kincaid, and Senior comes to fight Bryce. Sonia kills Veronika before joining her husband as they reconcile. They shoot Aristotle dead together while Bryce sticks a pocketknife in Senior’s neck. He shows that he is impressed in Bryce, but then lets him know that the device is almost done doing its job. If he wants to destroy it, the ship is rigged to blow if the countdown is stopped. Bryce finds the manual override switch and pulls it before he, Kincaid, and Sonia all jump off the boat as it is destroyed.

The trio are picked up by Interpol, with O’Neill thanking them for their work even though he still thinks they’re all idiots. He then hands Bryce some papers to sign, making him think that he is getting his bodyguard license reinstated. Sonia then takes the papers and reveals that those were adoption papers, and Bryce is now her and Kincaid’s son. Cue a big “WHAT?!” from Bryce and Kincaid.

Michael Bryce is set to give up on being a bodyguard again and making peace with it, until Sonia Kincaid finds him and asks for his help in recovering her hitman husband Darius after he is taken by mobsters. After getting him back, they are caught by Interpol agent Bobby O'Neill, who needs their help in locating a terrorist mastermind named Aristotle Papadopolous, who wants to destroy the European power grid and infrastructure since the European Union is planning to impose more sanctions on Greece.

The trio get into more trouble, with Bryce taking much of the physical brunt of their encounters. After getting help from his bodyguard stepfather, Bryce Senior, the trio are captured by Aristotle's henchmen. He has a history with Sonia since he was conned by her even though he genuinely fell in love with her. After turning her against Kincaid, he and Bryce are forced to flee. To make matters worse, Senior turns out to be working with Aristotle and turns his back on Bryce.

Bryce and Kincaid soon put aside their issues and work together to rescue Sonia and stop Aristotle. After killing Aristotle's henchmen, they disrupt his plan to use a power drill to break into the European power grid and fight Aristotle and Senior. Bryce kills Senior while Kincaid and Sonia kill Aristotle, and Bryce manages to hit the manual override to destroy the ship and stop the drill, but the three manage to survive the explosion.