THE MONKEY

*CUT TO THE CHASE*

NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy

1999 – A pilot, Petey Shelbourne (Adam Scott), enters a pawn shop, covered in blood and holding a creepy toy monkey with a drum. He tries to explain to the shop owner (Shafin Karim) that the Monkey is cursed, and when it bangs its drum, everybody will be “fucked to hell”. The Monkey plays its tune, and after a brief moment of nothing, a mouse bites through a wire that knocks into a statue holding a harpoon gun. The gun fires and impales the shop owner, then pulls his intestine out when the harpoon retracts. Petey grabs a flamethrower and attempts to melt The Monkey.

Petey abandons his wife Lois (Tatiana Maslany) and their twin sons Hal and Bill (both played by Christian Convery). The older Hal (Theo James, who also plays older Bill) narrates about how he and Bill never had a good relationship because Hal was always a timid kid while Bill was a bully to him. Lois shares a cynical outlook on life with her sons.

The boys find The Monkey among their father’s possessions, with the words “like life” written on its box (which they assume is meant to say “lifelike”). Hal turns the key on The Monkey’s back, but nothing happens. Hal and Bill are later taken to a hibachi restaurant by their babysitter Annie (Danica Dreyer). Hal leaves The Monkey in the car, and while the three are in the restaurant, The Monkey starts to play its drum tune. After it finishes, the hibachi chef that was quietly flirting with Annie accidentally decapitates her with his spatula, and her head falls onto the grill.

At school, Bill causes the other kids to taunt Hal because he carries The Monkey around with him. In his frustration, Hal tries to use The Monkey to kill Bill. After he turns the key, he waits for something to happen. Bill comes home as Lois is baking a cake, but after The Monkey finishes its tune, Lois begins bleeding from every part of her face until she collapses to the floor, dead. Adult Hal explains that she suffered what was called a “boomerang aneurysm”. A heartbroken Bill tries to get his mother to wake up during her funeral. Hal decides to destroy The Monkey by chopping it to bits.

The boys are sent to live with their Uncle Chip (Osgood Perkins) and Aunt Ida (Sarah Levy). The Monkey ends up reappearing at their house in one piece. Unconvinced that The Monkey is responsible for the recent deaths, Bill turns the key, and Uncle Chip is later killed during a camping trip where a stampede of wild horses tramples him to death in his sleeping bag, leaving him reduced to chunky salsa. The boys then put The Monkey back in its box and throw it down a well, hoping it will never hurt anybody again.

25 years later, Hal lives alone. He has a son, Petey (Colin O’Brien), whom he only sees once a year due to his fear that Petey will end up hurt or worse. When Hal goes to pick up Petey for their week together, he learns from his ex-wife (Laura Mennell) and her new husband, “leading expert” Ted Hammerman (Elijah Wood), that Ted is legally adopting Petey, and they feel it would be better for Hal to no longer be involved in his life.

Aunt Ida now lives alone. She goes into her basement and falls through the stairs, getting a bunch of fish hooks stuck in her face. She goes to treat herself with rubbing alcohol, but she hears a noise coming from the stove. Aunt Ida places her head near it, and the stove lights up, igniting her whole head. She runs out of the house in a frenzy before running face-first into the pointy end of a “for sale” sign. Her belongings are later sold at a sale, and among them is The Monkey. It is picked up by Ricky (Rohan Campbell), the son of a local police officer who mostly spends time by himself.

Hal takes Petey to a motel on their way to a horror-themed amusement park. Petey is doing a school project on family trees, and he asks Hal about his family. He lies about not having a brother, but he tells his son about Lois. Later at night, Hal gets a phone call from Bill, whom he had not seen or spoken to in years. Bill informs Hal that The Monkey has returned and that Hal needs to go to Ida’s house to settle her estate. While Hal is outside, a fan falls into a puddle of water that is seeping into the pool. A woman is about to swim, but before Hal can warn her that the water is electrified, she jumps in and explodes from the electrocution, confirming to Hal that The Monkey has indeed been reactivated. He orders Petey to wake up so they can move.

Hal and Petey go to Ida’s home, where Petey is annoyed to learn from the perky real estate agent, Barbara (Tess Degenstein), that Hal has a brother. When they go into the house, Barbara explains that there have been a series of horrific accidents in the town recently after Ida’s death. Barbara opens closet door, and a shotgun falls out and blasts Barbara to pieces, with Hal getting a finger tip in his mouth.

It is revealed that Bill has been activating The Monkey, as he hired Ricky to get it for him. He has been using it in the hopes of having The Monkey kill Hal since he knows that Hal activating The Monkey caused their mother’s death. In his attempts to kill Hal, he has been causing the deaths of innocent people. He resolves to have Ricky kidnap Hal and Petey to try and get Petey to turn the key and kill his father. Meanwhile, The Monkey also causes the death of Hal’s coworker Dwayne (Zia Newton), who chokes on his vape pen.

Ricky abducts the two and brings them to Bill’s place. Petey goes inside to meet Bill after getting through a series of booby traps, while Ricky keeps Hal in the car at gunpoint. Ricky accidentally fires his gun while scratching his head, hitting a wasps nest. Petey turns the key, and the wasps shoot out of their nest, with the entire hive swarming inside Ricky’s mouth and tearing out through his face. Hal runs into the building to try and confront Bill, but Bill is pissed off and demands for The Monkey to kill Hal, even trying to force its arm down to play the drum. As a result, The Monkey begins to play the drum rapidly, causing the ground to shake. Outside, Bill sees as a plane crashes into the town, killing off a huge portion of the population.

When everything has settled, Hal tries to talk to Bill and apologize for what happened with their mother. After a moment, Bill finally decides to reconcile with Hal and try to be a real family. And then The Monkey’s arm hits the drum again, triggering one last booby trap that shoots a bowling ball towards Bill’s head, crushing it. Hal and Petey leave in silence.

The two drive through town with The Monkey in the back seat as they see the aftermath of the wreckage, with many bodies sprawled across town. As they stop at a red light, a pale man riding a white horse (implied to be the embodiment of Death) goes past Hal’s car. He then invites Petey to go dancing, since Lois used to love doing that. Petey accepts. They drive off, with a bus full of cheerleaders passing by, and a truck that drives next to them decapitates all of them.

After the credits, there is a teaser for Osgood Perkins’ next film, “Keeper”.

Twin brothers Hal and Bill Shelbourne have never had a good relationship due to Hal being timid and Bill being a bully. The two come into possession of a drum-playing toy monkey that belonged to their absent father. When the key on The Monkey's back is turned, it plays a tune on the drum before someone nearby dies in a horrible accident. The boys' babysitter Annie is accidentally decapitated at a hibachi restaurant. Hal tries to use The Monkey on Bill after being sick of his bullying, but this causes the death of their mother Lois.

The boys seemingly get rid of The Monkey after their Uncle Chip is trampled by horses on a camping trip, but 25 years later, their Aunt Ida dies in a freak accident when The Monkey resurfaces. Hal is now alone and only sees his son Petey once a year. He is contacted by Bill when The Monkey reappears, forcing Hal to go back to Ida's house to settle her estate. He learns from the real estate agent (who gets blown to pieces thanks to The Monkey) that other people have suffered terrible accidents recently.

Bill was the one who was activating The Monkey to try and kill Hal since he knows Hal caused their mother's death. Bill gets a local delinquent, Ricky, to abduct Hal and Petey so that Petey can turn The Monkey on and kill Hal. Ricky is instead killed by a swarm of wasps. Bill tries to force The Monkey to kill Hal, which ends up triggering a catastrophic incident that wipes out half the town. Hal and Bill eventually reconcile, but The Monkey triggers one of Bill's booby traps, causing a bowling ball to crush his head.

Hal and Petey take The Monkey with them, and Hal resolves to spend more time with his son.