THE FABULOUS FOUR
NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Melanie
Louise, aka Lou and Marilyn, used to be the best of friends. They went through college together like the perfect but opposite pair. Marilyn’s blonde bombshell persona balanced Lou’s shy brilliance.
The great pals moved into an apartment together after school and quickly met two other young women—Alice and Kitty—who had their own unique strengths and qualities. The two friends then became four—the Fabulous Four.
Now, 40+ years later, the women have all gone their separate ways. Lou is now a respected surgeon. Kitty is a biologist turned marijuana-farming “earth mother.” Alice is a retired rock star still hanging on to her old sex, drugs, and booze life
style. And Marilyn is a recent widow who’s addicted to TikTok. After her husband dies, Marilyn (Bette Midler) moves to Key West for a fresh start. Midler’s real-life daughter drives her to the airport, and she’s nearly inconsolable to be departing. John and Marilyn were married for 48 years, so this starkly contrasts with mere months later when she calls her best gal pals to let them know she’s engaged and getting married…that weekend. She needs bridesmaids and wants Alice (Megan Mullally) and Kitty (Sheryl Lee Ralph) to join her.
Kitty and Alice decide to invite Lou (Susan Sarandon) in hopes that they can reunite their gang. We find out later in the film that Lou and Marilyn had a huge fight when Marilyn used her abundant sexual charms to seduce Lou’s boyfriend and have sex with him. Then, he and Marilyn eloped, breaking Lou’s heart. “I couldn’t make a bed,” Marilyn snorts. “But I could break one.”
Kitty and Alice trick the busy heart surgeon Lou into joining them, using her love of cats and Ernest Hemingway. They tell her that she won a polydactyl cat in a raffle, and the giveaway is being held at the Hemingway mansion.
Marilyn lives in the Key West mansion once owned by Ernest Hemingway. Once they arrive in Florida, the ladies meet Marilyn at her home. Lou becomes angry once she sees Marilyn and realizes they lied about the cat. She tries to leave, but Kitty talks her into staying. Lou is irked by Marilyn and all the reminders of her now-deceased husband and Lou’s long-lost love. She is still in pain over Marilyn’s betrayal, but no one has addressed her feelings. Marilyn is significantly over the top and intends to share every minute of her life on TikTok. Marilyn constantly teases Lou about her lack of sex and warns her she will soon bed one of her cats. She gives her a sex toy to work on her Kegels.
The ladies go to a dress shop to buy wedding dresses when Lou becomes agitated once more when Marilyn mentions her eloping with John. When Lou leaves the shop, she accidentally steps in front of a cyclist, causing him to crash into a phone pole. When someone tries to steal the injured man’s bike, Lou uses the rubber Kegel ball Marilyn gave her as a slingshot to knock the thief off the bike. She is pretty excited that she met a handsome guy.
The next day, Marilyn takes all the ladies parasailing. Lou begins to experience seasickness, and Alice gives her chocolate laced with weed in an attempt to soothe her. As the other ladies enjoy the outing, Lou bonds with Captain Ernie (Timothy Murphy), who gives Lou weed gummies. Now super-duper high, Lou hallucinates and sees a cat performing surgery. She cuts the rope that connects the ladies to the boat, and they all sing, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” They all safely land on the beach, but when Marilyn picks at Lou and laughs at her for being high, Lou retaliates, strikes out at the other friends for lying to her, and then pokes at Marilyn for her unhealthy obsession with TikTok.
Marilyn, Kitty, and Alice throw a bachelorette party at a strip club. One of the strippers, Nathan (Kadan Bennett), is giving Marilyn a lap dance and turns out to be Kitty’s grandson. Nathan has been kicked out by his mother for coming out as gay. Nathan and Kitty talk, and she offers her total love and support for his work and gay lifestyle. This part of the story was never really resolved. The next day, Marilyn takes the girls to finally meet her fiancé, Bradley. And, of course, Bradley turns out to be the guy that Lou crashed into on his bike outside the bridal shop.
On the wedding day, Lou and Marilyn fight, causing Marilyn to kick Lou out as one of her bridesmaids. Marilyn has a mental breakdown and ultimately apologizes to Lou. Marilyn and Bradley realize they both rushed into the marriage but decide to stay friends. Alice disappears for long stretches of time during the film and is not shown in the ending group number, where Kitty does most of the singing. Ultimately, Lou is persuaded by Captain Ernie to move to Key West.
