HIT MAN

*CUT TO THE CHASE*

NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy

A brief opening text states that this film is mostly based on a true story.

The film opens in a college classroom, where Gary Johnson (Glen Powell) is delivering a lecture to his students on Nietzsche, which one student interprets as putting yourself out there. Gary agrees but overhears another student making fun of the car he drives, which tells Gary that he hasn’t put himself out there.

Gary narrates about his mild-mannered existence. He has two cats, Id and Ego, and lives alone. On his spare time, he has been working with the New Orleans Police Department to catch people who hire contract killers. The usual undercover cop, Jasper (Austin Amelio), has been suspended for beating up teenagers, so Gary is tasked by officers Claudette (Retta) and Phil (Sanjay Rao) to take Jasper’s place and pretend to be a hitman for the guy they are trying to catch. Gary is nervous and fears he may get killed, but he goes into it anyway.

Gary pretends to be “Billy” as he sits down with the prospective client, Craig (Mike Markoff). To the surprise of both Claudette and Phil, Gary transforms into Billy convincingly, making all three of them believe that he is a deranged and psychotic hitman. Once Craig explicitly asks “Billy” to kill his target, Gary collects the money and watches as police arrive to arrest Craig.

Gary goes on to successfully put away more and more would-be killers while pretending to be various types of hitmen to cater to his clients, even having to sit in for their trials after they accuse him of entrapping them in a murder scheme. While most of them get jail time, some others, like a woman who was trying to pay Gary to kill her husband, get off scot-free after the potential victims forgive them, or the jury finds a lack of sufficient evidence. Gary’s newfound life also begins to show in his class, as his students become more attentive.

Gary is later given a file on a woman named Madison Figueroa Masters (Adria Arjona). He looks her up on Facebook and sees she doesn’t seem to have a history before her marriage to her husband Ray (Evan Holtzman), and she has no criminal record. Gary meets with Madison in a diner under the alias “Ron”. She is planning to have Ray killed because she can no longer deal with being married to him. Gary quickly becomes smitten with Madison and then talks her out of giving him the money to kill Ray so that she will not implicate herself. Instead, Gary convinces her to take the money and start a new life. Claudette and Phil express dismay at Gary for letting her go. Meanwhile, Jasper returns from his hiatus, but is none too happy to learn that the Sergeant (Gralen Bryant Banks) prefers Gary doing his job, and that the police would rather have Jasper hidden to protect their reputation.

Later on, Madison texts “Ron” and invites him to a dog adoption fair, even though Gary is a cat person. He meets Madison at the park, where she tells him that she is divorcing Ray, and she finds that Gary comes off less as a menacing hitman and more of a people person, since Gary gets along with the dogs and the kids at the park. Gary and Madison then go out later before going back to her place to have sex. The two then continue their relationship while Gary doesn’t let his superiors know about it.

While out on a date with Madison, she and Gary are spotted by a drunk Ray and his friend. Ray gets pissed at seeing Madison with another guy. When he threatens to strike Madison, Gary pulls a gun on him, making Ray back off. Gary and Madison go to get food, only for Gary to get nervous when he sees Jasper. He approaches Gary and Madison, only addressing Gary as an old coworker, but not telling Madison the truth.

Gary is then called to play hitman again for a client calling himself Mike. “Mike” turns out to be Ray, as he wants Gary to kill Madison and her new boyfriend. Gary then turns around and reveals himself to Ray and scares him out of the diner before he can implicate himself. He then goes to Madison’s house to warn her that Ray wants her dead.

Sometime later at the station, Gary is informed by the Sergeant that Ray has been found dead after an apparent drug deal gone bad. He goes to find Madison to tell her, only for her to reveal to Gary that she shot and killed Ray after Gary told her he wanted her dead. Gary then comes out and reveals he was never a hitman and that he has been lying to Madison. She gets mad and orders him to leave.

The police then name Madison as the prime suspect in Ray’s murder, as they learned that Ray had increased his life insurance policy by $1 million, and Madison was the sole beneficiary. They plan to have Gary go in and get Madison to confess to the murder while they have him wired, unaware that she knows the truth about him now. Gary goes to Madison’s house again, only for him to use his phone to quietly let her know the police are listening to them. He gets Madison to put on a show and deny everything, convincingly getting the police off their backs for now.

When Gary tries to go to Madison’s house again, he finds Jasper there, as he is planning to blackmail them for a cut of Ray’s insurance policy. Madison gets Jasper a beer, and as he begins ranting to them about his plan, he starts to get weaker until he eventually passes out, since Madison drugged his beer. As she worries about drugging a cop, Gary puts a plastic bag over Jasper’s head and tells Madison they will stage his murder as a suicide since Jasper is already known to be a junkie asshole that nobody is going to miss. They also admit their love for one another. Jasper then takes his last breath and stops moving.

Years later, Gary has moved his class to a bigger room, as he has gained more students. He is now married to Madison and has two kids with her, along with two dogs. Their daughter asks them how they met. Gary and Madison don’t say the whole story, but make it seem like they had a nice cute meeting at a cafe where they changed each other’s lives.

The film closes with a dedication to the real Gary Johnson, who passed away in 2022. Among other things, he was a beloved college professor, war veteran, animal-loving buddhist, and he committed zero murders.

The film is loosely based on the true story of Gary Johnson, a mild-mannered college professor who lives an unexciting life but uses his spare time to work with the New Orleans police department to catch people trying to hire contract killers by posing as hitmen. One potential client, Madison Masters, wants Gary to kill her husband Ray, but Gary falls in love with Madison and talks her out of the job. They then start a secret relationship, not letting his superiors know he is with her.

After Ray catches Gary and Madison together, he tries to hire a hitman (Gary) to kill Madison, only for Gary to scare Ray off. He then goes to warn Madison that Ray wants her dead, so she goes to kill Ray herself. When she admits this to Gary, he confesses that he has been lying to her about his profession and his name.

The police name Madison as the prime suspect in Ray's murder, so they have Gary attempt to get her to implicate herself, but he uses his phone to get her to play pretend and not say anything. Later, Jasper, the dirty cop that Gary had replaced for the fake hitman jobs, goes to Madison's house to try and blackmail her since part of her motivation for the murder was Ray's life insurance policy. Jasper wants a cut of it, but Madison drugs his beer and watches him pass out, while Gary helps stage Jasper's murder as a suicide after putting a plastic bag on his head to let him suffocate.

Years later, Gary and Madison get married and have a family of their own, while he credits her for helping him get out of his shell and changing his life.