BABES

*CUT TO THE CHASE*

NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy

The film opens in New York City, as yoga instructor Eden (Ilana Glazer) goes to the movie theater to meet her pregnant best friend Dawn (Michelle Buteau) for their annual Thanksgiving outing. During the movie, the two chatter until Dawn complains about her seat being wet. Eden checks Dawn’s vagina to see that her water has broken, but it is coming out so slowly that the two decide they have enough time, and they decide to go have a large dinner. Dawn’s labor then starts to speed up, forcing her and Eden to make an uncomfortable exit from the restaurant.

After an awkward crawling through the hospital lobby to get to her room, Eden and Dawn make it to Dawn’s room where they are met by Dawn’s husband Marty (Hasan Minhaj). Dawn successfully gives birth to a girl, Melanie, while Eden goes outside to throw up because Dawn defecated herself before the baby came out.

Eden later goes to get sushi for her and Dawn, but when she returns to the hospital, she is told by a nurse that she cannot be there because she is not immediate family. Eden takes the sushi (worth almost $500) on the subway, where she meets an actor named Claude (Stephan James). The two share the sushi on the train ride and bond over things like work and how Claude lost both his parents while Eden lost her mother. They go back to Eden’s apartment to play “Street Fighter” before they decide to have sex, even though Eden is on her period.

Later on, Eden tries to text Claude, but he never responds, so she thinks he ghosted her. Eden meets up with Dawn for New Year’s Eve, where they get high off shrooms. While Dawn is tripping balls, Eden starts to take pregnancy tests because she starts to envision herself with a large belly. After 28 tests, she and Dawn determine that Eden must be pregnant.

Dawn accompanies Eden to meet with Dr. Gil (John Carroll Lynch) for an ultrasound, confirming Eden’s pregnancy. Eden agrees to undergo tests to make sure the fetus is healthy before going to the clinic where she gets tested for STDs. She speaks to two employees, Bobby and Benny (Kenny and Keith Lucas), who are also her friends, and asks them if they know Claude. They say they do know him, but reveal to Eden that he unfortunately died the day after Thanksgiving due to choking on an almond alone in his apartment. Eden is quietly heartbroken, as she felt she had a genuine connection with Claude.

Eden learns the fetus is healthy and ultimately decides to keep the baby. Dawn agrees to be with her for all of her appointments, while Eden also helps with Dawn’s kids. Dawn and Marty find a problem when their nanny quits because a richer couple offered her a job, and their firstborn son Tommy (Caleb Mermelstein-Knox) has regressed and decided to keep acting like a baby. Dawn and Marty go out for date night, while Eden babysits Tommy and shows him “The Omen” to make him feel like a big kid.

When Eden is set to meet Dr. Gil again, Dawn cannot make an appointment with her due to a work commitment, so Eden reluctantly contacts her estranged father Bernie (Oliver Platt). At the appointment, Eden freaks out over having a huge needle inserted into her. After the appointment (where Bernie also freaked out), the two sit outside and chat about how Bernie being an absent father sort of molded Eden into becoming the person she is now, which she accepts. He does admit that he cannot go to all these appointments with her because it grosses him out, but he will be a supportive grandfather.

Dawn and Marty hire a new nanny who is likable, but she gets scared off when Tommy gets influenced from watching “The Omen” and draws 666 and satanic symbols all around his room. Dawn scolds Eden for showing that movie to Tommy, and then tells Eden she needs to find a doula to be with her since Dawn cannot help her all the time. Eden interviews a few women (and one weird guy) for the position before meeting a highly experienced doula/wet nurse named Dragana (Elena Ouspenskaia) that she accepts. Meanwhile, Dawn is getting used to returning to work while also dealing with being exhausted and having postpartum depression.

Eden and Dawn later decide to go on a “babymoon” trip right before Eden gives birth. Dawn books them a hotel/spa, which turns out to be more relaxing for her than it is for Eden. They get booked a massage, but Eden’s pregnancy makes it hard for the masseuse to work on her. The friends later get dinner, where Eden suggests to Dawn that she and her baby move in to the basement of her and Marty’s place that they were planning to turn into an AirBnB. Dawn rejects the idea, believing that Eden and her baby would just be more people to take care of on top of Marty and their kids since Eden is immature and got herself into an unexpected pregnancy. The two argue over how Dawn moved to the Upper East Side much farther away than where Eden lives, as she says that they are family, but Dawn coldly tells her she already has a family.

The two decide to spend time apart to cool off. Dawn returns home to find that a pipe in her house full of backed-up sewage burst, leaving the whole house reeking. Dawn vents to Marty about her frustrations with work and being a parent, which Marty says he understands because he often feels the same way but is glad that he gets to work through it with Dawn.

Eden gets closer to the day of her child’s birth. She is taking a bath when Dawn calls her on FaceTime to let her know that her bosses want her to fly to San Francisco for a dentist commercial. Eden is happy for her until she turns around and Dawn sees Eden’s vagina is expanding, meaning she is ready to give birth. Eden frantically runs with Dragana to get ready, but Dawn shows up in a limo to take Eden to the hospital. Dawn apologizes for what she said to Eden, and Eden in turn apologizes for forcing Dawn to help her so much. The two reconcile and head to the hospital, where Eden gives birth to a girl (not a boy like she previously believed she would have) and names her Claudette.

During the next Thanksgiving, Eden brings Claudette to join Dawn, Marty, and their kids to the movies, where they watch the film Claude was shooting the day he met Eden. She shows Claudette who her father is. As everyone is walking home, Dawn reveals to Eden that she and Marty have decided to move back to Eden’s neighborhood in Astoria, just three blocks down from her, as Dawn agrees that they are family and cannot be too far away from each other even though they will be leading separate lives. The two then part ways and promise to see each other later.

Eden and Dawn are longtime best friends. After Dawn gives birth to her second child, Eden meets a man named Claude, sparking a connection with him before they have sex on the same night. Eden doesn't hear from Claude again and later finds out she is pregnant with his child. She learns from the clinic where she gets tested that Claude died the day after they met after choking on an almond. Eden is quietly heartbroken due to feeling that she and Claude had a mutual connection, but she chooses to keep the baby, with Dawn agreeing to help her every step of the way.

While Dawn does help Eden with some appointments, she must also juggle a return to work and taking care of her kids with her husband Marty, especially since their oldest kid continues to act like a baby. The two take a trip to blow off steam but get into an argument when Eden suggests she and the baby move in to her and Marty's basement. Dawn feels like she is already taking care of too many people with Marty and the kids.

When they return home, Dawn's house experiences a severe plumbing problem when a ton of backed-up sewage bursts through a pipe, forcing her and Marty to either pay for repairs or find a new living space. Just as Dawn gets called to do a commercial in San Francisco, Eden is ready to give birth, and Dawn chooses to accompany her to the hospital after they reconcile. Eden gives birth to a healthy baby girl named Claudette.

Dawn and Marty later move back to Eden's neighborhood, just three blocks away from her and Claudette.