SYRUP

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NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Mike T.

The movie starts with many shots of the advertisements in Times Square and a voiceover man (Toby Hemingway) explaining marketing 101: Everywhere you go, models are looking at you like they love you. They don’t love you, and marketing is just a way to try to attach love to a product.

We cut to Scat (Shiloh Fernandez) at a sperm bank. He's offered $54 for his sperm due to his high number of sexual partners. Sneaky Pete (Kellan Lutz), his roommate, is with Scat, and Pete quickly and secretly changes his number of sexual partners to zero, getting a nice offer of $270 for his specimen. Both Scat and Pete have marketing backgrounds, and it's revealed that they changed their names to something more catchy to help build their new images. As part of Pete’s new image, he never speaks.

Back at their dingy apartment, Scat is lamenting his poor luck while Pete sleeps. In an internal monologue, Scat tells us that every person has three million-dollar ideas in their lifetime, and that he already had two when he was far too young to cash in on them. He also laments that people don’t want new things, they want the same old things in new branding. Scat drops a soda on the floor, which promptly explodes with the carbonation, giving Scat an epiphany for a new energy drink. He wakes up Pete to tell him the news, but Pete is too stoned to give much of a reaction.

A few days later Scat tries to get into the Addison Beverage Corporation to meet with 21-year old marketing expert, Six (Amber Heard), but the receptionist won’t let him through the door. Scat pulls the fire alarm in order to meet Six on the street. In another internal monologue, we hear about how genius the name "Six" is, because it's so close to "sex", which just drives men wild. After they meet, Six shoots him down cold until heating the details of his idea: an energy drink in a jet black can with "Fukk" on the side of it (pronounced fuck). She’s in for a business lunch. At the lunch, they go over a few minor details, such as the flavor (which both agree isn’t important, just the image and the branding.)

Six isn’t particularly interested and leaves the lunch. Scat follows, and Six relents her position after his continued flirtations. She also tells the story of her name: She was born Zero, and had her name increase by one each birthday, but her parents died in a plane crash before she turned seven. Scat doesn’t buy it, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll still get to pitch Fukk to her board of directors. Later That night, Scat freaks out that he thinks he loves Six.

The day of his big pitch he runs into the Addison Building and sprints for the elevator, alarming security, who give chase. He arrives at the conference room, pursued by security, allowing him to "make an entrance", security not knowing that he was supposed to be there. Once the pitch starts, the board says they don't develop external products. Six interjects saying that Scat is her partner, and will sell his trademark for just $2 million. She then whispers to him "You did register that trademark, didn't you?" His face drops, and he runs from the room.

Scat sprints to the trademark office, and finds that the name has already been trademarked, by his roommate, Sneaky Pete. Scat sprints back to his apartment to find it empty. Later Scat is leaving Pete an angry voicemail while walking down the street, when he sees Pete and Six completing the transaction on a street corner.

Weeks pass. Crushed, Scat has returned to his old job as a telemarketer. After work, he walks down the street and sees a Fukk machine in front of the Addison Building. He buys one, drinks it, and throws the can at the building.

Another day, Scat is moping alone in a diner, when Six walks by and sees him. They have a brief talk where she exhibits concern for him, while he acknowledges that it's just business. She reveals that Fukk is now the #1 energy drink in the nation. Their conversation is interrupted when one of her handlers ushers her out, saying that "Pete has a surprise for you." Scat flies out of the diner and follows Six from afar, who is taken to a seedy, dimly lit bar, which has been decorated mildly for a party. Pete's handlers have thrown a large celebratory shindig, as they tell Six that Sneaky Pete is taking over the advertising and brand management of Fukk. Senior Management loves Pete, so they're taking her off the brand. Six leaves upset. Scat walks with her.

They form an alliance, and she gives him 5 days to cook up a new advertising campaign for Fukk so she can beat Pete. Scat works into the deal that he gets to move in with Six. She reveals that she lives in Times Square with her girlfriend, Tina, who "hates men." They head to her apartment where there is no Tina, and he calls her bluff on being a lesbian. She still denies it, with her going to the bed and him going to the couch.

The next morning, Six has cooked Scat breakfast. They banter back and forth about gender roles, then go to work with five days to crank out something amazing. She has an office, while he shares a cubicle with another creepy guy. Some other members of the group comment that Scat "must be the new Chet", implying that this cubicle is where Six employs her boy toys. Scat is unaware. While Scat is working, Pete walks by his cubicle and sees him. The two share a look, with Pete smirking and walking away.

Three more days go by. Tomorrow is the deadline, but Scat has only one terrible idea: People on the beach getting crushed by a gigantic beach ball. Back at the apartment, Six blows up on him. She cancelled the old Fukk campaign, and now they have nothing. If Scat doesn't come up with something by tomorrow, they're both fired. Following his call to action, Scat feels like Six is using him, and berates her all the way into the office. Upon arriving at their floor, Six gives Scat a long, passionate kiss, and he leaves energized to produce the ad that they need.

The day goes by, but Scat reveals that he has nothing. Six is disappointed and berates him as they leave the office. Scat takes out his anger on the Fukk machine outside the building. It steals his money, and he rocks it back and forth until it falls over on top of him and crushes him. He has another epiphany.

Cut to the ad he created. Two people are rocking a Fukk machine, it falls on top of them as the spokeswoman (Kirstie Alley) comes on screen and says "Last year, 12 people lost their lives trying to steal from vending machines... wouldn't you die for a Fukk?"

Six and Scat leave the pitch room, successful. Scat is excited that they sold the pitch while, Six reveals that she's just turned on by Scat... Other people join their elevator, keeping them from making out, and by the time they are along again, she says she's over it. Back on their floor, one of Pete's handlers is congratulating Scat and Six on the new campaign. The handler also reveals that she (Brittany Snow) is Pete's new personal assistant, and her name is Three. Six and Scat retreat to an empty floor of the business, lamenting Three stealing Six's image. Three suddenly joins them and says that despite them being underhanded little sneaks, Pete is only concerned about the good of the brand and hopes they can get past this and can work together to be successful as a group.

Later, Scat is along watching the blooper reel from the ad campaign, when Three comes in and tries to seduce him, assaulting Six's character in the process. Scat refuses her advances and her claims. Later that night back at the apartment, Six tells Scat that it's cold, and they should sleep together. They hop in the bed, with Six intent on sleeping, but Scat having other ideas. Six slaps him and starts an argument about what kind of relationship this is. Scat laments that he doesn't even know her real name, and wants to know if he means something to her, or if he's just some naive moron she's using. Six gives him a non-commital "you're more than a naive moron to me." Scat views this as a positive.

Their relationship seems to be warming up in the following weeks until tragedy strikes. A teenager was killed after a FUKK machine fell on him as he tried to emulate the commercial. The media firestorm is intense, and it all gets to Scat. He starts to second guess what he does, marketing in general, and whether there is anything genuine about Six. This comes to a head as Scat desperately yells in the rain that he just wants to know Six, and she walks away.

Scat, Six, Pete, and Pete's handlers attend the funeral of the boy who was killed. The priest of the ceremony asks if anyone would like to share a few words. Scat does, and delivers a heartfelt condemnation of the current state of marketing. Six interrupts him, realizing that the mourners are all actors. Scat flips out and insists that the boy is not dead. He charges the coffin, opens it, and reveals a doll. Pete and his top handler chase Scat through the cemetery.

Cut to the boardroom where the board of directors wants a scapegoat for this PR nightmare. Six throws Pete under the bus, claiming this was all his doing to try and sabotage the new plan, but the Board of Directors has none of it. Scat is fired since he was the one who revealed the entire sham on national television when the cameras saw him open the coffin and reveal the doll. Scat moves out.

Later on, it is revealed that Six is no longer in marketing and is working at a shoe store. Scat is giving rickshaw tours of New York City. Following one of his tours, Pete is abducted by people in a limo. They reveal themselves to work for Zephco, Addison's largest competitor. They take him into their building where Six is brought in, as well. They offer both of them high-paying jobs, which the pair eventually accepts. Scat and Six two are shown into their new office, and meet the CEO, who tells them to just sell product. As soon as they are alone, the two argue until the conversation drifts to her slamming him for not being able to figure out how to have sex with her. He argues that he is different, but she retorts that he's a guy who only thinks with his junk. Scat has another epiphany.

Cut to Scat and Six pitching the senior management team their new drink, Average Kok (yes, pronounced cock). Average Kok is superior to Fukk in every way, and Six uses her sexuality to get the board really into the idea. Their new campaign: They distribute Average Kok with no conventional advertising across the country. Once sales stabilize, they ship cases of Kok (not Average Kok) to the 100 most popular celebrities in the country. Each can of Kok sent to a celebrity has a special number on it unique to the celebrity. The catch is that Kok will only be sold to people possessing unopened numbered cans, proving that the buyer is close to a celebrity, and if a can falls into unapproved hands, they will terminate the number line. It sells the image more than the drink. "The American Dream in a fucking can". Zephco goes for it, and Scat and Six celebrate by having sex.

Now the campaign is in full swing. Celebrities are freaking out, cans are going for thousands of dollars on eBay, however, the CEO is concerned because they aren't selling much product. Scat explains that they're done building buzz, and will soon release Kok to the general public, screwing all the celebrities, but earning huge money. The CEO is thrilled. Six watches from afar, realizing the Scat is turning into a marketing monster.

Kok is a success. Scat is doing incredible, when suddenly, more tragedy. A boy has killed himself and written a suicide note on the back on a drawing of Kok #17. Scat immediately suspect Pete, but the higher-ups at Zephco reveal that this time it’s real. They want him to fire Six, then go on CNBC and spin the suicide. Scat tries to reach Six to warn her, but she is interviewing a new creative at a local restaurant. This bothers Scat, causing him to feel like Six is always fake. Scat runs off to tape his interview, visibly upset.

After the interview, he returns back to his apartment where Pete is looking for a place to stay since Three took his job after they got rid of Six and Scat. Pete speaks for the first time in the movie, as he's now thinking of changing his image. Pete and Scat bond again like nothing ever happened.

Later Scat finds Six at a bar where they watch the news. She admits that she feels like she's losing him and that she knows they’re grooming him to be the new corporate VP. They bond with her telling him lots of intimate details, like her childhood dream of being a ballerina. After they bond, Scat leaves. She continues to watch the news as Scat's interview finally airs. It's another heartfelt tirade against marketing, this time telling people not to buy Kok. She chases after him in Times Square, with the realization that he's throwing himself under the bus and ruining his career to save her.

He tells her his real name is Michael, and asks for her to finally tell him her real name. She says her name is Six. Disappointed, Scat tells her that it's been a pleasure doing business with her, and walks away forever. The camera pans up at all the advertising in Times Square, and we cut to black.


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