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SHALLOW HAL

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NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by - brentage2000, who also says... "This movie is funny as hell!"

The film starts on Hal's father's deathbed. The doctor shows young Hal in, and his father (who is VERY high on morphine) tells Hal that he should always strive for the best, and only to judge a woman on her looks, because that's all that really counts.

Fast forward to the present. The now fully grown Hal Larsen (Jack Black) is a successful banker who spends his days schmoozing with his co-workers and talking with his buddy Mauricio (Jason Alexander). His nights are spent at dance clubs trying to get with various pretty girls (and I do mean girls - the average age of them seems to be about 23).

One day, as Hal is leaving his job, he gets stuck in an elevator with Tony Robbins (Tony Robbins).

After a small talk, Tony hypnotizes Hal so that from then on, he will only see the inner beauty, meaning their spirit, their...well, you've all seen the preview. He then leaves the building and runs into a woman who looks like a giraffe, but since he's hypnotized, he sees her as looking like Rebecca Romjin-Stamos. This happens again that night at a club with three girls. Mauricio tries to "save him" but fails.

The next day, Hal is driving around and meets Rosemary (Gwyneth Paltrow), who in reality looks like Drew Carey after he's taken up cross-dressing. He follows her into a store and after a rocky start, they go out for lunch (Minor note: Gwyneth's chair breaks out from under her while they're eating. This becomes something of a running gag.) and as they're leaving two guys laugh at them, but of course when they say fat, Hal thinks they're talking about him, because he see Rosemary as a supermodel instead of Drew Carey in drag. The two then go to Rosemary's job (she's in the Peace Corps and works at a hospital) and Hal leaves her there.

The next day, Hal and Mauricio are in the park waiting for Rosemary. She comes and Hal interprets Mauricio's reaction - "Holy cow!" - as being at her beauty rather than her weight. They then go off and drop by Rosemary's job, where she introduces him to some kids she works with. Hal is especially taken by one little girl who kind of becomes important later.

The next few weeks are great for Hal and Rosemary. They go out, Hal meets Rosemary's parents, and they even have sex.

Meanwhile though, Mauricio is tracking Tony Robbins down and convinces him to reveal the phrase which will bring Hal back to normal. Mauricio calls Hal, says the phrase, and then hangs up. Hal turns back to the hostess (another chair broke, and Hal was trying to get a new one) and sees that she is really a man in drag. Hal looks back and sees Rosemary - the real Rosemary - sitting at the table eating their dinners. Hal goes out and bumps into Mauricio, who tells Hal what he did and why.

Over the next week or so, Hal - now in a high-up job, thanks to some smooth talking when he met Rosemary's dad, who happened to be Hal's boss's boss - tries to avoid Rosemary, but one night when he is out with his neighbor/friend Jill, he accidentally passes Rosemary WITHOUT REALIZING IT!! See, he only knows her as thin, so he has NO idea what she really looks like. She says hi to him, but he just nods at her. He goes to a phone and calls Rosemary on her cell, who is now outside the restaurant they were both in. He makes love talk to her, but she just calls him psycho and hangs up.

Five days later, Hal is talking to Rosemary's dad and finds out she is going away to help in a foreign country with some friends she introduced Hal to the night before he was de-hypnotized. He goes to the hospital she works at to try and find her but instead finds the little girl from before, a patient in the traumatic burns unit. All the pieces of the puzzle come together for him, and he goes to the park, talks to Mauricio, finds out that he (Mauricio) has a tail, and they then set off. (Mauricio's backbone sticks out at the bottom a little bit, just above his butt. This creates the appearence of a tail at the bottom of his back.)

The first stop for them is the Peace Corps HQ. They find out from two of Rosemary's friends that she is at a going away party at her house. The foursome then go to Rosemary's parents house, where the party is, and Hal at last confronts the real Rosemary (after thinking that some woman named Helga was her). He says that she's beautiful, he loves her, and he wants to marry her. He also says that since he can't wait fourteen months for her to return, he's joined the Peace Corps (he was enlisted on the drive over). Rosemary smiles, and the two drive off to the airport.

Mauricio, who has been watching all this with a smile on his face, sees a woman with a small dog. Thinking of something Hal told him about his tail ("It's like a little puppy dog.") he asks the woman if she likes dogs. She says yes, and Mauricio takes her off to get a drink, wagging his tail all the way.

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