SCARY MOVIE 3
movie trailer (apple.com - quicktime)
NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by Bob and Joel who say..."Ok hilarious movie but the scenes might be a bit out of order like alot of spoilers so thats ok."
The first scene starts off at the house from the beginning of the ring and instead of the two girls it shows Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy.
They start talking about how bad TV is for you and how it shrinks silicon particles - then they both scream and turn off the TV. Pamela asks Jenny if she has seen this video tape and after you watch it you die in 7 days. Then Jenny asks if it is the one where they do it on the boat and in the bath (NOTE: scene from the trailer) Then Pamela says No and Jenny says that she saw it last week with her boyfriend and Pamela says no way and smacks her in the face with a pillow. Jenny gets up and punches her in the stomach then Pamela hits her over the head with a vase. Jenny gets up and hits Pamela with a laptop. Then after Pamela gives Jenny a wedgie the the phone rings and they both stop and the thong snaps back in place. They walk downstairs towards the phone while its ringing and answer it. Jenny picks up and you hear a Gollum voice from lord of the rings saying " my precious". It turns out to be Pamela's mom. Jenny walks back upstairs and Pamela stays down. After she gets off the phone the refrigerator door opens then Pamela closes it but it won't close then it does. After a parrot screams, Pamela rips off her shirt and throws it on top of the parrots cage. Pamela walks upstairs putting on a new shirt and there's water all over the floor. She walks up to a door dripping with water. She calls Jenny's name and she's sitting on a chair. She turns the chair and Jenny has a purple face and Pamela asks if she's OK then her heads falls off and asks if she's OK again then she picks up the head and asks if she's OK again. Then the TV turns on and two rings circle over Pamela Anderson's boobs.
After that it shows a farm house and Charlie Sheen is sleeping in his bed and hears a scream. He wakes and smacks his head on a lamp right next to his bed. He goes down and grunts then he hears another scream and hits his head again. He goes to the bathroom and goes pee, he hears a scream and stops peeing. Pees again then stops and this goes on until he trips. He runs outside to meet his brother Simon Rex. They run to the corn fields to the scream and Charlie gets hit by a whole bunch of corn stalks in the balls and in the face. Then they find the crop circle and it says "ATTACK HERE" with a big arrow pointing to their house.
Then it shows Jeremy Piven as a newscaster talking about the crop circles in Charlie Sheen's farm. Cindy (Anna Faris from the others scary movies) is now a newscaster. Anna Faris talks about how she wants to do more stories about real important things like this crop circle (which she thinks are aliens) instead of boobs and then they break into song and dance about Twins in bed and beer.
It goes back to the Farm and Simon Rex is dressed up as Eminem from 8 mile and Charlie tells him to quit on this hip hop thing. Then Simon leaves onto a bus and says he's gonna freestyle rap tonight and gets his head stuck in the bus's doors.
Next Anna Faris goes to a daycare to pick up her friends son that now she looks after because his mom is dead (NOTE: the boy is portraying the roles of the boy from The Ring and Rory Caulkin from Signs). When Anna Faris goes to pick up her kid she meets up with Brenda (Regina Hall from the other Scary Movies) and she asks Cindy if she has any boyfriends or if she's getting any and Cindy says no. Then Simon Rex comes in, to pick up Charlie Sheen's daugter (his niece) and Cindy sees him and likes him. He tells her and Brenda that he's rapping tonight and they should come see him. Cindy takes Cody (the boy) to the car telling him that she's sorry for being late and that she'll never forget him again. They get into the car and she drives away but then she realizes that Cody isn't in the car. She reverses the car and Cody is running toward it and she hits him and he flies 50 feet in the air.
Cindy gets a babysitter to watch Cody so she and Brenda can go to the rap thing to see Simon rap. She gets a priest to watch over him and the priest is...DARREL HAMMOND! Cindy leaves and the priest is a pedophile.
Then it cuts to a building where the rapping goes on and Anthony Anderson is there (portraying Mekhi Phiefer) telling people to hold their gunfire until after the show. It shows Simon in the bathroom getting ready to rap then has to puke but instead of puking in the toilet he pukes on a guys lap sitting on the toilet. It cuts back to the rap before Simon has to rap and Anthony Anderson asks Simon Cowell how it was and he says it was pathetic.
Anthony and two other black guys pull out guns and shoot Simon Cowell!!! Then Simon goes to rap but he realizes he has to face Fat Joe in a rap battle. Fat Joe calls him a hillbilly in his rap then Simon Rex says that he is white but he can still rap in his rap song. At the end everyone is cheering but then Simon Rex bends down and his hood goes up and it looks like a KKK hood and black people throw him out of the building and he falls on the pavement. He gets up and says he's quitting rap.
Brenda asks Cindy if she can sleep over at her house because she's scared of the videotape thats been going around, because she watched it last week. Brenda's nose starts bleeding and Cindy gets scared but she said she was just kidding. Brenda has a seizure and foams from the mouth but she was kidding about that too. Then her hand lights on fire and again joking. Brenda says that she will go get the rest of the popcorn but when she goes and gets it the TV turns on and its just a fuzzy signal she turns it off, turns around and the TV turns on again, a fuzzy signal then Brenda unplugs it. The TV turns on once more time and it shows a girl coming out of a well. Brenda thinks it's the news and sits down and starts eating popcorn. The girl comes put of TV towards Brenda and she punches her in the face then they have a fight and the girl wins. Cindy walks in and can't find Brenda then she looks behind the couch and there's Brenda looking just like Jenny McCarthy at the beginning.
Then it shows a man driving a Suburban talking to Charlie Sheen and says sorry about what he did to his wife. Charlie Sheen remembers back to the night (NOTE:just like in Signs when Mel Gibson's wife dies and remembers if you haven't seen Signs then you're screwed and you should stop reading) Charlie Sheen sees the butch Sheriff and he asks her what happened and she says that something bad has happened to your wife and she's pinned against a tree. Charlie doesn't understand what she said. She pulls out a wiener and breaks in half and says thats what will happen if they remove the truck from her. He still doesn't understand then she does it with a taco and still doesn't understand. Then she just tells him that his wife is split in half. Charlie Sheen asks if he can still do stuff to the lower half and he pulls out a donut and a wiener and says let me demonstrate but the sheriff stops him. Charlie Sheen walks over to his wife and his wife is...DENISE RICHARDS!!! She tell Charlie Sheen that he can't remarry or have sex ever again and he pretends that he didn't hear her. They kiss and Charlie Sheen spits out glass from the windshield and then she tells him to tell Simon Rex to swing away.
Charlie Sheen walks back into the house as the phone rings and Simon answers it. He finds out that Brenda is dead. He says that he's going to tell his niece that her teacher is dead and he must let her down easy. So he walks over to her and just yells out that she's dead and everyone around her is dying!!!
Cindy brings Cody to Brenda's funeral and they just look at the body and it looks like Brenda is screaming. Simon Rex comes with his niece to pay his respects to her teacher and he brings Anthony Anderson and Simon thinks that she's still alive so he tries to bring her back but it looks like he's trying to molest or rape the dead body. Anthony Anderson gets on top of her and starts giving her CPR but then Brenda's dad is trying to get Anthony off and Simon is getting wires to bring her back to life but then he just blows her body parts everywhere around the house. Next scene it shows him getting thrown out of the house and he gets up and says that he can't do anything, Cindy comes out and then Simon Rex asks her out and she kisses him. She goes back inside. Cindy asks if she can look at Brenda's room and she says yes. She goes up and finds the tape.
She brings the tape home puts it in the VCR and watches it, it makes fun of all the things it shows in the real tape on "The Ring" for example instead of it being a well being covered to make a ring it's a fat man's ass sitting on the toilet taking a poop. After she watches it she talks to Simon Rex's friends (Anthony Anderson and David Edwards) David Edwards tells Cindy that he knows these guys that know about this tape and stuff like that.
She goes to the people and it's Queen Latifah dressed up as the oracle and she sits Cindy down and tells her to put in the tape but before that Eddie Griffin walks in dressed up as Morpheus except his name is Orpheus. They put in the movie and watch it then pause it on the woman combing her hair in front of the mirror except there's a fly that is on the video but not paused so Cindy pulls the fly off the screen, it flies around then lands back on the screen. Queen Latifah smacks it with a Fly Swatter. When she hits hit the woman on the video gets hit and smacks Queen Latifah back with a Fly Swatter. A fight begins between the woman on the tape and Queen Latifah. After the fight ends Eddie Griffin moves the picture on the tape over and the picture extends to show a lighthouse. Eddie Griffin and Queen Latifah tell Cindy to go to that lighthouse.
When Cindy departs she leaves Cody (the boy) with Simon Rex and he tells her that they'll be fine but then Simon Rex hold Cody up in the air right under a fan and this sends Cody flying out the window. When Cindy kisses Simon Rex and leaves, Cody comes in the door all beaten and dirty.
Then it goes back to Charlie Sheen's farm and he starts looking for his daughter so he goes to her room where it shows the daughter dressed up as that ghost with the puppet from "The Others" He asks "Where is my daughter" and then pulls off the veil and it's...MICHAEL JACKSON!!! Charlie Sheen calls him a freak then he tries to beat him up but MJ dances around him and kicks and punches him. MJ grabs Charlie Sheen's balls then Charlie grabs MJ's but he giggles. He throws MJ out of the window where finds MJ's skin lying on the ground but there's nothing but skin.
Cindy gets to the lighthouse and when she walks in it goes to the end scene from "The Matrix Reloaded" showing Cindy in front of all the TV screens. Sitting in the "architect's" chair is George Carlin. He explains to Cindy that he is the father to Tabatha (the girl that comes out of the TV) and she was evil and his wife threw her in a well. Tabatha recorded all her evilness onto a tape and he accidently put in the case of "Pootie Tang" and returned it to Blockbuster. Cindy asks what this had to do with aliens and he says that Tabatha is trying to give the tape to the aliens.
Cindy goes back to the News station where she works and tries to tell everyone that aliens are coming and not to watch the tape.
Then it goes to the White House where Leslie Nielsen is the president and he's scared of the aliens attacking. He needs Cindy because she's the only one who knows how to defeat the aliens. Leslie Nielsen then goes to a Mother Teresa Benefit in the White House. Afterwards he tells his Bodyguard Ja Rule that he thinks that the aliens can take over peoples bodies and it can be anyone of these people in the benefit (NOTE:they all have some sort of disability). A man walks up to Leslie Nielsen with one of those voice things that you hold to your neck so you can talk. Leslie beats the crap out of him and Ja Rule helps him beat up everyone in the room but there's no way out and they blow a hole through Mother Teresa head (it's a picture of her) then they leave to see Cindy.
Cindy goes home to find Simon Rex sleeping and Cody is watching the videotape. Then they get the phone call telling them Cody will die in 7 days. They all go out to Charlie Sheen's farm and they boarded up everything. They go down to the basement and hear aliens moving around upstairs. Charlie Sheen asks Simon if he can get him that board to wedge in the door so no aliens can get in but then hits him in the balls again. The lights go out and they don't know why but then Simon Rex accidently switched them off. Cindy tries to see what the aliens are doing but she can't see so she grabs a knife to see under the door and sees them giggling but they are only giggling because they have a knife looking under her skirt.
Cody then gets grabbed by something and Charlie Sheen tells Simon Rex to swing away so he grabs a bat and swings to hit the arm but misses every time and always hits Cody for about 25 times in a row. Anthony Anderson comes in and tells Simon Rex and Charlie Sheen to come with him outside so Cindy waits there with the kids. The 3 men then grab shovels and head out. Anthony tells them to get ready and he pumps the shovel like a shotgun and a shotgun shell comes out.
Everything goes silent and they hear something but it's just a bunch of Cadillacs coming up to the farm. When they pull up David Edwards gets out with a lot of black guys (including Redman and Method Man) they are all there to help fight the aliens but they break out in a fight amongst themselves and kill each other. Then the two aliens from the house come out and come after the guys but a suburban pulls up and runs them over and Leslie Nielsen and a bodyguard get out of the suburban.
Then more UFO's come down and they get out and choke the guys from behind but they explain thats just how they say hello and they say goodbye by kicking them in the nuts. They're looking for Tabatha because she's been causing terror on their planet. The guys and the aliens become friends and it shows them having fun together.
Cindy then sees a ladder from the video while watching the kids down in the cellar and then she realizes that's where Tabatha died. She finds the spot where the well was and Cindy opens it. Tabatha comes out of it and grabs Cody. Cindy tells her it's her fault that her mom was mean and threw her in a well. But while Cindy is explaining to Tabatha, Simon Rex comes down and starts hearing what Cindy is saying. Tabatha lets go of Cody and she begins to cry, her face becomes normal and says that because of their love it has broken the curse. Her face morphs back to the ugly dead zombie face and says "Just screwin with ya" but before she can run to Cindy and Simon Rex to kill them, Leslie Nielsen opens the door and Tabatha falls back down the well.
Leslie Nielsen leaves and Simon closes up the well.
It cuts to the last scene and Simon Rex and Cindy Cambell are on the their Wedding Day. They get into the car and drive away happy then remember they forgot Cody. They reverse the car, you thinking they'll back into him but instead they stop and a huge Semi Truck runs him over.