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movie trailer (apple.com - quicktime)

NOTE FROM DAN, (The Movie Spoiler) I wasn't going to put up this spoiler because it just didn't make sense. After talking to a few people who watched the movie, I realized that the movie didn't make sense, so here is the spoiler sent in by jammin who says... "This movie was extremely unfunny. Maybe this spoiler will keep you people from going into the theater to see it."

The film starts in a Chicago subway with Tom (Ashton Kutcher) finding a briefcase and is pressured by his friend (Jon Abraham) to keep it. Tom seems to be an extremely nice guy, which is why he is stepped all over. While he and his friend talk he sees Lisa (Tara Reid), the boss's daughter in the subway, also on her way to work. Tom tries to make small talk and it seems to go well until the briefcase opens and inside is a gay porno magazine.

Extremely embarrassed, Tom gets to work and it turns out he gets a meeting with his boss, Jack, to share some of his ideas. When he arrives he sees his co-worker yelled at and ultimately fired, so he decides to keep his ideas quiet.

Audrey (Molly Shannon) brings them some coffee that turns out to be very bitter. Jack calls her retarded, but when Tom tries to explain why that was, harsh Jack doesn't listen and fires her instead blaming Tom.

Tom gets out and sees Lisa. She tells him that she has to housesit for her dad even though she wants to go to a party. Tom encourages her to stand up to him and she asks him to housesit. Tom thinks that she asked him to go to a party. He enthusiastically accepts.

When Tom gets there Lisa is no where to be found. After a misunderstanding Tom realizes what he has to do. Jack then tells him about his bird O.J. (yes like the murderer) who no longer flies. Jack finally leaves (out of town).

Tom starts watching a home video of Lisa at the beach, but is interrupted by Red (Andy Richter). He is Jack's son and is a little 'weird'. He tells Tom if anyone comes to the door to give him a package. Tom agrees. Red goes to the bathroom with another package filled with cocaine and pours it in the toilet. It doesn't flush (important).

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. It's Audrey there to try to get her job back. Her biker boyfriend comes in and starts making a mess. They have a fight and Audrey's boyfriend leaves. Audrey then guilts Tom into letting her stay.

Tom realizes that O.J. is choking. He brings it to the toilet (with the cocaine in the water) to drink. O.J. quickly gets re-energized and manages to fly away.

Tom and Audrey start looking for O.J. Tom goes back into a neighbors house where he is greeted by an old man with a gun telling him to get off the property. The man has a bunch of half naked 20 year old women in his yard, for some reason. Tom grabs the gun (which comes later into the story) and walks away.

When he arrives back to the house Audrey has invited over friends. One of which being Tina (Carmen Electra). Everyone is making a huge mess and Tom starts freaking out.

There's a knock at the door. The drug dealer comes for 'the package'. Tom being completely naive about this gives him the package.

Lisa comes home, early, in tears. She tells Tom that she broke up with her boyfriend, Hanz. She tells him he can stay over, anyway. (She doesn't know about anyone that's in the house). Tom goes in her room and they start talking. Lisa seems to really like him and tells Tom that 'he's so easy to talk to. Like a girlfriend!'. She also mentions how Red isn't supposed to be in the house and how they have a restraining order against him. Then, she tells Tom about a really sexy stripping routine her friend does and decides to show him. She begins to strip and asks Tom that if he was straight would that turn him on? Tom tells her he isn't gay. She at first gets a little upset, but then begins to like the idea. She and Tom kiss, while in the window you can see everyone trying to wrestle down O.J.

Tom excuses himself and quickly rushes to see the problem. Audrey tells him that Tina thinks she has breast cancer. Tom goes into her room and starts feeling her breast. Then Audrey tells him to grab hers to compare. Lisa then walks in and sees this. Shocked and sad she runs away.

Tom sees O.J. and runs into some house. There the family mistakes him for their daughter's date, Albert. She comes down and has this bandage over her head because she was shot in the head (?). Tom explains that he's not Albert but they think he just said that not to go out with her. They kick him out. Tom goes back to the house.

There's a knock at the door. The drug dealer is back, furious, telling him the package was filled with flour, not cocaine. Tom explains that it's not his house, it's his boss's Jack The drug dealer tells him that Jack was in prison with him and had a severe rash on his ass. Tom doesn't take this as anything and grabs the gun that he stole from the old man (he took out the bullets) and aims it at the drug dealer. He doesn't believe that it's loaded and pisses all over Tom and the furniture.

Suddenly, Hanz (Lisa's ex) comes in. He's an overweight black guy. We find out he cheated on Lisa. And Tom gets him to leave.

Tom goes in the bathroom and sees cream for rashes for the ass. He realizes Jack really was in jail. Tom doesn't know what to do about the drug dealer who's hanging around and trying to break open a save.

Audrey tells him to slip him this sleeping pill. Tom puts it in the drug dealer's whiskey. The drug dealer drinks it and starts having a seizure. Everyone thinks he's dead so everyone at the house (Audrey, her black friend, her white friend, and Tina while Lisa is apparently in her room) start burying him. He gets up and gets the gun. Lisa comes down and the guy takes her hostage. Tom knowing there are no bullets in the gun, pulls out his penis acting all big. The drug dealer is about to shoot him when Red hits him in the head with a shovel. Tom takes the gun and tries to prove there are no bullets. He shoots it in the air and it turns out there were bullets in it.

The black friend comes out and says some guy called and said that if you don't pick him up in 15 minutes you're fired. Tom goes to pick him up while everyone else, including Lisa, start cleaning everything up.

As Tom drives, O.J. comes flying in because of a mouse in Tom's coat. O.J. flies in and they start swerving.

Back in the house the police arrive because of all the complaints from the old man, from the house where Tom was mistaken as Albert as well as others. Inside they see Hanz trying to hang himself with a sign that says 'thanks Tom'. He fails.

Suddenly Tom's car crashes into the house with Jack inside. Tom is about to be arrested when he tells everyone that Jack is a drug lord. That's why he was going to Thailand. He pulls down Jack's pants to show the rash, and it's not there. Then, Red tells him that his real name is Jack Jr. He pulls down his pants to show the rash.

Tom is arrested. And Jack convinces Lisa to move to Thailand with him. Red bails Tom out. He then talks to Lisa about everything while Jack is outside trying to get O.J. He is hanging over a branch and over hears. Then some sewage falls from a pipe and he falls.

The next scene is where Tom finds out Lisa isn't going. Jack sends Hanz to Thailand where they show him having a horrible time.

Tom and Lisa kiss.


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