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MIRROR MIRROR

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NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Joanna.

The Queen (Julia Roberts) begins by telling us the story of Snow White’s birth (throwing in some sarcastic comments). Her mother died. She was spoiled, and the kingdom was a very happy place. Her father was grooming her for the kingdom, when he met the Queen. They got married, but he had to go away. He gave Snow his dagger, and rode off into the woods, and was never seen again.

Snow White searched for him, devastated that he wasn’t found. Now she is at the mercy of the Queen.

Cut to present time – Snow White (Collins) talks to and plays with the birds. She has never left the castle. Downstairs she hears music. The Queen is sitting on her throne, and it looks like she’s playing chess with her servants. One servant steps forward to tell her that the kingdom is close to being destitute. Snow White comes downstairs, from the bedroom she seems to live in, to ask the Queen if she can attend the gala since it is her 18th birthday. The Queen considers it, admitting that Snow didn’t do anything wrong; however, Snow is just so irritating! She doesn’t care if it’s her 100th birthday, she better never sneak down again.

Cut to the woods. Two men are riding their horses, talking about the adventure they are on and have been on for months. They stop for a rest when bandits in masks and walking on stilts attack them with swords. It turns out they are dwarfs, which makes the two men laugh. Their “stilts” shrink down like accordions, and the men refuse to fight them because it would be too funny. However, the dwarves are after their gold, and they take it.

Back at the palace, the servants help Snow White celebrate her 18th birthday. One woman, Baker Margaret, speaks up, telling her that she knows she will one day take back the kingdom, which is why she has stuck around all those years. She gives Snow White the dagger she received from her father all those years ago as a gift. Snow White decides she is going to leave the castle, after the encouragement of the servants, and does so – causing the guards to question if that’s even allowed.

All of a sudden we hear those famous words spoken by the Queen “Mirror Mirror on the wall…” except the difference is, she walks into it. When she comes out she is in a new place. She talks to another version of herself in the mirror, discussing marrying the Baron. The mirror tells her to marry someone rich, for one day she will ask “Who is the fairest of them all.”

While walking in the woods, Snow White comes across the two men, who are now stripped and hanging upside down from a tree. She decides to release them. It almost seems to be love at first sight for her and one man (who is Prince Alcott), but he declines the offer to travel with them.

Back at the palace, the Queen is trying on shoes when she is interrupted by the prince and his companion, Charles, (only partially dressed still). The Queen has never heard of his kingdom before and organizes a ball very quickly to impress him. Her plan is to marry the prince, however, she is reminded by her servant Brighton (Nathan Lane) that they have no money to pay for it. She doesn’t care that people are starving however and does whatever it takes to throw the ball.

Snow White is wandering in the streets of the village where she sees children and adults begging for food and money. She is shocked, since the last time she saw the town, when she was a child with her father, the land was plentiful. Brighton comes into town and puts up a notice that there is to be more tax collection. He tells them that the money is being used to keep a terrible beast away from them, and therefore, they must pay, despite them being poor.

Prince Alcott is warned by his friend Charles that something is fishy about the Queen, but he leaves anyway. Snow returns very upset, telling Baker Margaret how horrible everything has become for the people. She tells her about the ball, telling her that she will crash the ball and save the kingdom. A few minutes later, we see the Queen preparing herself, being treated by Baker Margaret, who is doing disgusting things to her without her knowing as she has her eyes covered. This includes settings bees, snakes, and other insects on her.

As the costume ball begins, Snow White is surprised to see the prince, and he is also surprised to see her. They dance together, all the while being watched by the Queen. She admits that she is a princess, and he tells her he’s the prince. They cheat in the dance, so they don’t have to switch partners and can continue chatting, which is of course upsetting to the Queen. Snow tries to fill in Alcott on what’s happening and how she needs his help, but when she is spied on by the Queen, she attempts to escape, before she is grabbed by her.

The Queen corners Snow White, questioning her as to where she got the dress, while Snow yells at her about the village. Snow White stands up for herself, saying she is the rightful leader of the kingdom, and we zoom in on a celestial necklace around the Queen’s neck. The Queen later tells Brighton she wants Snow White killed, and to take her to the woods and feed her to the beast.

Still in her dress, Brighton has now brought Snow White to the woods. They are both very upset and, while the snow is falling, they hear the beast. Brighton, in appreciation still of how her father treated him so kindly, cuts loose the ropes tying her hands together and tells her to run. She runs through the woods and into a sign saying “No Entry.” She wakes up inside the house of the 7 dwarfs. She tells them that she is Snow White, however not all of them believe her. She tells them that she has no gold for them, and explains how the Queen tried to have her killed. They are reluctant to let her stay, as they could be killed for it. They decide to let her stay for one night. The dwarfs are: Butcher, Wolf, Half Pint, Grimm, Chuckles, Grub, and Napoleon.

Brighton meanwhile runs back to the castle and tells the Queen that the work has been done. He shows her a bag of her “organs” which are instead various food items. The Queen is thrilled that Snow White is finally dead. Brighton tells the maids, and both he and the Queen act very apathetic. Brighton goes into town to collect the new taxes. The Magistrate tells him that the townspeople cannot handle their money problems much longer. Meanwhile, on his way back to the castle (through the woods), Brighton is not only pocketing some of the money, he is being chased down by the dwarfs. They take his gold, hide their costumes, and go back home. Snow White has prepared a nice dinner for them, which makes them want her to stay longer. She questions them on the gold and tells them how much the villagers need the money. They tell her that they were expelled from the village years ago by the Queen because they were “undesirables.” As they start to argue about their old lives, Snow White grabs the gold and leaves, with them chasing slowly behind her. She brings it to the town Magistrate. Snow White is about to say her name, when the dwarfs run in. She tells the townspeople that it was their doing, and they are the ones that deserve the thanks.

At the palace, the Queen is eating with Prince Alcott, and he very obviously finds her a bit odd. As she tries to get to know him, he reveals that Snow White is the prettiest girl he has ever seen. She tells him that she died the night before in the woods, to which he is obviously upset. The Queen is about to ask him to marry her, when Brighton barges in, explaining that bandits stole the tax money. Prince Alcott, having been robbed by them before, storms out to fight them.

The dwarfs tell Snow White she can stay with them, but must live by certain rules. She must become a thief, and Snow White agrees as long as what they steal from the Queen goes back to the people. They begin to teach her all their tricks, including how to fight and use their costumes. She quickly learns their ways and trains well to be a thief with them.

Prince Alcott has now arrived with some servants to the place in the woods where he was attacked last time. He sees Snow White who is pretending to be lost, so she could attack and steal from them, until she sees that it is him. She draws her sword, and the fight ensues between her and the prince, and the dwarfs and the men. Soon everyone is watching Snow and Alcott fight one another, and she wins. He once again returns to the castle, half naked. He tells the Queen that the leader of the bandits was Snow White, revealing that she is still alive.

The Queen, upset, once again goes through her mirror into her hut. She tells the mirror she wants her dead and she wants to marry the prince. She tells the mirror to use her magic and wants to use the love potion she used for Snow’s father to fall in love with her, but she’s all out. The mirror tells her there is always a price for using magic, but she doesn’t care. Meanwhile, Brighton drinks another potion by accident and turns into a cockroach.

Later at the palace, Alcott approaches the Queen. They talk about Snow White as he keeps saying how beautiful she is. She begins to tell him how Snow’s father (the King) died, and they must honor his memory. They drink from their cups in a toast, which is really a potion for “puppy love.” Alcott starts acting like a dog, asking to play fetch, and licking her (very funny!), while calling her his master.

At the house of the dwarfs, they reveal that they heard the Queen is marrying the prince. Snow is upset and taken aback. The dwarfs don’t understand why she’s upset, since the last time they met they fought. Outside their house, there is a robot thing brought to life, being controlled by the Queen at her house, to kill Snow White. It begins fighting the dwarfs but doesn’t succeed in harming them as they escape underground and Snow comes to their rescue.

The next morning, as the Queen and Alcott prepare for their wedding, the Queen is being squeezed skinny, Alcott is sniffing everyone like a dog, and Brighton returns to human form. Snow White left the dwarfs, leaving a note saying that her presence causes them harm (i.e., the attack the night before). They decide to go after her, but she’s right outside. After an inspirational speech, she decides to stay, and they will crash the wedding. The dwarfs sneak in, in costume, scaring everyone. With them, Snow White says “This is a stick up!” When the Queen arrives in her carriage at the wedding tent/site, no one is there. She enters the tent and sees that all the servants are without clothes. The Baron tells her that the Sentry wants her dismissed and stepped down. They tell her that the prince has been stolen by Snow White. At the dwarfs’ house, Alcott is tied up, begging to be taken back to the Queen (his master). They realize he’s under a spell, but they don’t know how to break it, so they try several physical attacks on him, loud noises, rain dances, etc, but nothing works. Finally, they realize maybe a kiss of true love will work. When they realize that it will be her first kiss they try to make it special for her with makeup and a nice hairdo.

Alcott is begging her not to do this, but she sits on his lap to kiss him, only to stop and ask for privacy, since all the dwarfs are watching. She kisses him despite his protests, and once it’s done, he kisses her back. He snaps out of the spell, and they kiss again. They tell Alcott all the embarrassing things he was saying about the Queen, and he can’t even believe it. Suddenly they hear the roar of the beast and Snow White leaves to fight it herself. She tells Alcott that she wants to change the ending of most fairytales, and no longer will the prince have to save the princess, and locks them all inside the house. She runs into the Queen and realizes that the Queen controls the beast with her necklace, and it runs after her.

Alcott finally manages to open the door with a key they forgot they had, and runs through the woods to find and save Snow White. He finds her, and they run from the beast together. The dwarfs are also running through the woods to find them. The beast attacks and hurts them. Just as the beast is about to strike again, the dwarfs begin to attack it, but the beast manages to bring them all down. Meanwhile, the Queen goes back through the mirror, very giddy, thinking they will die. The dwarfs manage to get Snow White’s dagger to her, but instead of killing the beast, she grabs the celestial necklace from it. The Queen notices that hers no longer has powers and the mirror tells her now she will see the price for using magic, and she grows old.

Suddenly the beast disappears and turns into Snow White’s father. Snow White is thrilled, and the King doesn’t understand how she has grown up. She tells him he has been under a spell and introduces him to everyone. He asks Alcott how he can ever repay him, which is of course giving him Snow White’s hand in marriage.

We see the two of them getting married, officiated by the King. Everyone is congratulating her after the wedding, when an old woman (The Queen) approaches her and presents her with the modest gift of an apple. Snow White is about to take a bite when she hears her say “the fairest one of all.” Realizing it is the Queen, she cuts the apple into slices and says “age before beauty” and gives her the slice. The mirror shatters and the Queen disintegrates into nothing, to the shock of the people. Snow White walks to the middle of the floor and begins to dance very modernly and sing. The dwarfs join in, and eventually everyone else does too.


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