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THE LOSERS
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NOTE: This spoiler was written by L.

Jensen (Chris Evans), Roque (Idris Elba), Pooch (Columbus Short) and Cougar (Oscar Jaenada) are playing Blind Man’s bluff in the Bolivian jungle when their colonel, Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) orders them to suit up. The men are an elite special ops unit sent to take out a Bolivian drug lord on the behalf of the CIA. Clay transmits the coordinates of the drug lord’s base to the pilot of a stealth bomber, but realizes that there are kids being used as drug mules held captive in the building. When Clay attempts to call off the air strike, a mysterious man named Max radios Clay and tells him that the airstrike will go as planned.  Clay leads his men into the base to take out all the guards and save all the children. One little girl tells Clay that her brother is not with them and Clay goes upstairs and finds him being held hostage by the drug lord, al-Fadhil. Al-Fadhil claims that he is not working with Max and that Max is going to kill Clay and his men. Clay kills al-Fadhil and brings the little boy to the waiting bus. Pooch drives the group out of the blast radius of the bombs and they crash into a bog. Clay and his men lead the children to a clearing and load them into the extraction helicopter meant to take them home. As it flies away, a stealth bomber arrives and blows up the helicopter. Clay and his men are horrified and decide to fake their own deaths to find Max.

Four Months Later

Jensen and Cougar are working in a Doll Factory while Roque and Clay gamble to make money. Clay loses his bet. Clay sees a mysterious woman (Zoe Salanda) looking at him from across the room while he and Roque talk about what they should do. Roque just wants his life back and tells Clay that his obsession with Max is wearing him thin. Clay goes to a bar to get dinner and the mysterious woman introduces herself as Aisha. They two go back to Clay’s hotel room and right as they are about to start having sex, Aisha tells Clay that she’s there to offer him a deal. The two fight and end up setting the room on fire. Aisha tells Clay that she can get him Max, and Clay decides that she can be trusted. She gives him a card for a rendezvous with the team and leaves. Clay takes a picture of her and tells her that if she’s lying, he will kill her.

Clay meets up with his team and they run a background check on her. Jensen goofs off and jokes around about how hot she is, while Roque goes over how many times women have screwed over Clay on missions. Aisha arrives and tells them that she can smuggle them back into the U.S. and fund their operation against Max. The others are hesitant but decide to go ahead with it. Aisha puts them all in coffins and ships them into the country.

Across the world, Max is meeting with three scientists from India about purchasing a set of weapons from them. His right hand man, Wade (Holt McCallany), takes one of the scientists and throws him off the building when Max is displeased about their decision. Max asks why Wade through the scientist off the building but notes that it had the desired effect. The two remaining scientists quickly agree to do what Max wants.

The Losers get to Miami and Aisha tells them that Max will be transported across town. Roque grows increasingly distrustful of Aisha and threatens to kill her if she double-crosses them. Roque and Jensen steal a medical chopper from the Miami PD and the crew begins their assault on Max. Pooch and Aisha pilot the helicopter around the city while Roque and Clay fire smoke grenades and explosives at an armored truck being driven by convoy with Wade. Wade recognizes Pooch when he flies his helicopter (now rigged with a powerful magnet) and begins firing all his weaponry at the helicopter. Pooch and Aisha hook the armored truck to the helicopter as Jensen appears and fires a crossbow lock onto the back door so that Max can’t escape. The Losers escape with the armored truck and bring it back to their base of operation. When they open it up however, they don’t find Max. They find three guards and a locked case. Jensen opens the case and Roque finds a carrier drive. Just as Roque is about to kill Aisha, Aisha convinces Clay that they can use the drive to draw Max out. Roque gets pissed when Clay tells him to stop and yells at him. Jensen suggests figuring out what the encryption key for the carrier drive is before doing anything. Clay tells the Losers they will be going to recover the encryption key in two days. Roque and Clay fight more and Clay punches Roque in the face.

That night Aisha comes over and has sex with Clay. The next morning the team goes to prep for Jensen’s op. Pooch forces Clay and Roque to attempt reconciliation but they are both still pretty pissed with each other. Jensen goes into Max’s building pretending to be a messenger. He goes in singing “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey as he goes into the elevator and starts stripping. Once he’s naked, several women see him and admire his body. He awkwardly smiles before calling Mr. Anderson, the man guarding the encryption key, and reporting a flasher in the building. He dresses up as an employee and pretends to be doing routine maintenance. He copies the encryption key and when he’s about to leave a security guard blocks his way. He hits him with his suitcase and runs through the office before being caught by three security guards. However, he pretends to be a telekinetic and Cougar shoots two of the guards before Jensen intimidates the remaining guard with his “telekinetic powers.”

Wade visits the scientists in Mumbai and they tell him that since he didn’t bring them the money he needs to give them 1 billion dollars instead of the 400 million which was previously decided on.  Wade calls Max and tells him what happened as Max is receiving an exotic treatment for his disease-riddled hand. Max is pissed that the Losers are alive and tells Wade to assemble an 18-man team to eliminate them.  He witnesses a demonstration of the weapon he is purchasing from the Indians. An island is completely decimated without any debris being left behind.

Back at the Loser’s base, the Losers find out that the carrier drive is carrying 400 million dollars. Impressed, they decide that they will use it to lure Max out and make him give them the evidence necessary to prove they had no involvement with the deaths of the kids in Bolivia. Jensen looks up the IP addresses used by the carrier drive and determines where Max’s main base of operation is. He then hacks into a satellite so that Pooch can see his pregnant wife on a surveillance camera. Clay and Aisha have sex again and Aisha asks about the Bolivia op. As Jensen goes over some files on Max, he sees that al-Fadil had a daughter and that when he died all his possessions and money went to her…and realizes that Aisha is al-Fadil’s daughter. The Losers burst into Clay’s room just as Aisha jumps up and pulls out two guns. In the standoff that follows, Aisha shoots Jensen in the arm and escapes through the window.

The team patches Jensen up and decides that they’re still going to go through with the plan despite Aisha knowing everything about them. They go to raid the facility and each person goes to do their thing. Jensen goes to the server room while Roque and Clay go to the storage unit and find the weapons Max is after. Cougar and Pooch stay on standby. Roque opens up a storage unit and calls Clay over before knocking him out.

Pooch, Cougar and Jensen are also captured and taken to be executed. Clay tells Roque that he’s a traitor and will die badly. Roque says he won’t and goes to supervise the loading of 1 billion dollars into a private plane. Roque meets Max and walks away while Max talks to the Indian scientists. He betrays them and has them arm one of their weapons to frame them as international terrorists. He uses a pressure trigger to arm the bomb and shoots the scientists in the head.  Clay is put into a van and driven past Pooch, Cougar and Jensen and lets them know it was Roque who screwed them over. Just as the trio are about to be executed, Aisha shows up with a bazooka and starts firing into the containers. The Losers start fighting back and Clay goes after Roque.

Clay and Roque duke it out on the airplane while Wade leads his troops against the rest of the Losers. When Wade’s men are all killed, he gets on a motorbike and decides to take out Clay. Clay rips out one of Roque’s eyes and gets kicked off the plane. Roque has the pilot turn around and try and run Clay over but before that can happen, Clay gives Cougar the order to shoot Wade’s bike. The bike explodes and throws Wade into the plane’s turbine and the plane explodes, killing Roque and the pilot. With them taken care of, Clay goes after Max. Max attempts an extraction from the scene but Clay shoots at the helicopter until it flies away. After shooting Max in the shoulder, Max throws the weapon’s trigger into the ocean and Clay jumps in after it, catching it before it can go off. Max escapes by getting on a bus but is robbed by some thieves who take his watch. Aisha tells Clay that they will one day settle their differences and Clay tells her that he’s cool with that. The team then goes out to help Pooch get into the hospital to see the birth of his son.

 An extra credit scene focuses on Jensen taking the Losers to his niece’s soccer game. When she is knocked down and the ref doesn’t call a foul, Jensen goes out to fight her. The Losers interfere while Jensen and the ref get really pissed at each other. The clip ends with the Losers holding Jensen back from kicking the ref’s ass.


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