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KNOCKED UP

*CUT TO THE CHASE*

NOTE: This spoiler sent in by Chalowan who says..."This movie was funny but felt a little long and drawn out towards the end."

Knocked Up starts with a montage of Ben (Seth Rogen) and his friends just messing around, battling each other gladiator-style over a plank across the swimming pool which looks really dirty and gross, pushing each other into that really dirty and gross pool, smoking weed, et.  There's a bet with one of their friends that if he doesn't shave or cut his hair for a year, they will pay his rent, but if he does shave or cut, he'll have to pay all five of their rent.  In the beginning of the movie there's a running joke about his facial hair (Chewbacca and Taliban jokes, "your face looks like a vagina, your face looks like Robin William's knuckles...).

The next scene is Alison (Katherine Heigl) getting ready to go to work.  She lives in her sister's, Debbie, and her husband's, Pete's (Paul Rudd) pool house.  Though Debbie and Pete are married they don't have much spark or pizazz in their relationship and you can tell right off the start.  Alison offers to drop her sister's kids to school when Debbie and Pete bicker about who should take them. 

Then it shows Alison (Katherine Heigl) at work at the E! Entertainment channel.  She works behind the scene and Ryan Seacrest is getting ready to interview Jessica Simpson.  In a funny scene, he wonders what to ask Jessica in their interview and when Alison says that he can't ask her about Ashlee and her nose job, or about Jessica's boobs or what her dad thinks about her boobs, Ryan says maybe we should ask her about the war in Afghanistan and what kind of exit strategy she has planned... or maybe talk about the Korea situation and have her point out the country on a globe.  Then he freaks out about stars in general and yells about how stupid and messed up they are.  After calming Ryan Seacrest down, Alison gets called into her boss's office. 

Her boss, Jack and Jill (Kristen Wiig from SNL) tell her that she's promoted and that she can now be in front of the camera.  Jill really steals the scene with her subtle snarky remarks.  When Jack tells Alison to "tighten" up - as opposed to "losing weight" because it's against policy to tell Alison to lose weight, Jill says "it's like you going home and you step on the scale and see how much you weigh and then you subtract 20... and then you weigh that".

Alison is excited about her promotion and Debbie thinks they should celebrate so they go to a club.  Both of them walk to the front of the line and immediately get in while Ben and his friends who are waiting in the front of that line behind the velvet rope yell in exasperation.  After dancing for a bit Alison offers to get drinks.  At the bar Ben is trying to get the bartender's attention and Alison walks up behind him and tries to get his attention also but to no avail.  They joke a little and then Ben, trying to show off, just reaches across the bar and grabs two beers and throws down the money.  Alison says thank you but then remembers that she's supposed to get one for her sister too and Ben gives her his beer and says that he doesn't act this cool all the time and to just give him his moment.  When she leaves he mutters about how he's such a p*ssy for not getting up the courage to talk to her more.

In the club Ben sort of watches her and one of his friend, Jason, encourages Ben to talk to Alison and then when he sees Debbie, he heads towards their table dragging Ben along.  Jason flirts a little with Debbie who reciprocates because she likes the attention after thinking that she's too old and ugly to be in the club surrounded by younger girls.  When she gets a call from Pete saying that one of their kids might have chicken pox, she leaves but Alison decides to stay.  There are scenes of both of them drinking heavily and dancing and afterwards she invites him back to her pool house. 

After making out and such she asks him if he has a condom.  When Ben takes a while to get the condom on she says to "just do it" which Ben - in his drunken state - thinks that she means to just start having sex so he discards the condom and they... just do it.  In the morning (with a greeeaat view of Ben's naked ass), Alison - looking grossed out - wakes him up.  She tells him that she has to go to work and doesn't he have to go to work?  He says no and then asks her to breakfast which she accepts.  At breakfast they awkwardly try to have a conversation and then Alison makes a quick getaway.  He asks her for her number and she gives him her card and he gives her an email address for the website he and his friends are working on as he can't afford a cell phone at the moment.  She asks him what kind of website he's putting up and it's basically called fleshofthestars.com (I think) and you type in an actress's name and all the movie that the said actress has ever been in naked will pop up detailing how naked she is (boobs or full frontal ) and how many minutes into so and so movie she's naked and for how long.  Not long after that conversation, Alison leaves after a hurried hug and Ben mutters about how crappy and awkward that just went.

8 weeks later Alison is interviewing James Franco for Spiderman 3 (lots of nods to Spiderman in this movie) but she looks sick.  He asks her a couple of time if she's okay and she tries to tell him yes and to just continue answering her questions.  Then she runs over to a trashcan off camera and throws up and the screen shows a grossed out and disgusted James Franco and he says something along the line of "shit, if this is one of those punked shows I'm not feeling it."  In the cutting room the edit guy is making fun of her but tells her that he can cut her puking scene out of the interview and that she can just redo the questions.  Alison gets sick again and throws up into another nearby trashcan.  The guy asks her if she's sick and has the flu or if it's something she ate.  She says she hasn't eaten anything yet.  "Are you pregnant?"  She says she has to have sex to be pregnant.  But then she starts remembering that night with Ben and kind of looks on in horror.  Meanwhile the edit guy is on the phone talking about how Alison just threw up again.  "No man, she says she's not pregnant.  How does she look?  Like she just found out that she's pregnant!".

Alison goes back home and explains her situation to Debbie.  They run to the store and grab a whole bunch of different brands of pregnancy tests.  Alison pees on all of them and each one tells her that she's pregnant.  Debbie says that maybe all the tests are wrong and tries one herself.  When she finds out that her test comes out positive she freaks out but then Alison says that Debbie just got one of her tests by accident.  But seeing Debbie freak out about the idea of being pregnant again doesn't soothe Alison's feelings.  She decides to get in touch with Ben and emails him.  He emails back his number and when she calls him, all of Ben's friends are making lewd actions about Ben getting more sex from Alison because they think that is the reason why she's calling (because why else would she call?!). 

They meet the next night and Alison tells him that she's pregnant.  They get in a little fight about the condom and what she meant by "just do it".  She asks him to go to the doctors with her to see if she's really pregnant.  They both sit in a crowded waiting room watching babies after babies (and one particularly "cute in it's own way" baby aka. "not cute") before they are called in.  After the doctor confirms that Alison is indeed pregnant, she breaks down and Ben looks shocked as the fact that they are going to have a baby become real. 

They each go their separate ways.  Ben is at home with his friends and his other friend Jay says that they will all help rear his child.  His other friend Jonah says that Ben should just "take care of it".  Jay is upset and says "are you talking about the 'a' word?"  Jonah acknowledges that's what he means but agrees not to say what word that is for Jay's sake but that the word rhymes with "shasmortion".  The next scene is of Alison eating with her mom who also agrees that she should have an abortion.  Ben is at lunch with his dad who says Ben having a kid is great news.  That he's happy for Ben and that Ben should be happy also.  Having Ben was the best thing to happen to his life and it will be the same for Ben.  Awww!

Later Alison calls up Ben and tearfully tells him that she's planning to keep the baby.  He says that he will be there to support her and help her through this.  She goes over to his house where she meets his friends.  She's a little uncomfortable around them.  Jonah is watching the naked scenes in the movie Wild Things, the other friend is high, and Jay just came out of the bathroom after shaving all his pubic hair.  Her and Ben go shopping for baby clothes and look for baby books.  They have a good time together and when they walk together, Ben holds her hands and Alison looks really happy.  They get back to her place and kiss and he tells her that he really likes her.  She says that she likes him too and for him not to dick her over.  He promises not to as he's the guy that girls usually dick over.

He sleeps over and has breakfast with Alison, Debbie, Pete and their kids in the morning.  Ben and Pete get along well.  Throughout the movie Pete is always working late and sometimes doesn't have reception for his phone which annoys Debbie to no end.  There is a montage of Alison and Pete spending more time with each other and getting to know each other better.  Ben plays with Debbie's kids, they go to try to find the right gynecologist (there's a really mean Asian doctor, and BJ Novak from The Office is another doctor who tries to hit on Alison because she's not married), Ben stays home to spend time with Alison instead of going to play games with his friends, Alison is watching movies with Ben and helping him record all the naked actresses in the movies for Ben's website, et.  They finally find the right doctor who says that he's the doctor for them because he never takes vacations.  He hates "Hawaii and visited the Caribbean when I was 14 and will never got back."  Alison is relieved to find the right doctor for her.  They go shopping for more baby items and when they leave the store, Alison runs into her friends.  She acts a little uncomfortable when Ben tells them that Alison is pregnant and how they met.  He notices and wonders if maybe she's ashamed of him.  Later he proposes to her with an empty box because he doesn't have the money to buy her the ring that she deserves but that he already picked one out and that it's really beautiful.  He tells her that he loves her and she says she loves him too but her love for him is new and that they have seven months to get to know each other better and what's the hurry.  Besides they already have the pressure of having the baby, why add to the pressure by getting married.  Ben seems a little down about her answer but she gives him a kiss and all seems well.

Meanwhile Ben and Pete are becoming better friends.  Pete admits that marriage isn't all that cracked up as they say it is.  Marriage is like the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond except that it's not funny, it doesn't last 22 minutes, it lasts forever.  Debbie is convinced that Pete is cheating on her and installs a Spyware on his computer to check on his emails and last logins and past website history.  All four of them have dinner together and when Ben and Pete are joking, Ben says something about how he was really freaked out when he first heard that Alison was pregnant and that he had a flash of just driving all the way to Canada to get away from everything.  Alison is a little hurt and he asks her haven't she ever wished that he just put on a condom that night so that none of this would happen and she says no and looks a bit disturbed.  Later Pete says that he has to go to work again and that he'll call Debbie because his phone might not have reception.  Debbie drags Ben and Alison along and they pull up to a house with an unlocked front door.  Debbie goes upstairs but no one is there.  They are about to leave when they hear noises in the back of the house.  Debbie goes to find the noise and encounters a room where a bunch of guys are together, including Pete, playing Fantasy Baseball.  Pete's surprised to see her there and she storms out of the house.  Alison and Ben watch as Pete and Debbie have a talk.  Debbie is upset that Pete lied about his whereabouts.  He explains that he just wants time to himself sometimes.  He didn't tell her where he was going because she'll just get mad and yell.  She asks where he was the other day and he said he went to watch Spiderman.  He just needs to get away from work, her, and the kids sometimes.  Debbie cries and asks what about her?  She'd like to go watch Spiderman too!  He says that the next day they'll go watch Spiderman together but she says that she doesn't want to go because she tells him to.  She wants him to want to ask her and that even though he may not yell and get upset, he can be really mean.  She tells him not to come home.

In another scene Alison and Ben are at his place and are trying to have sex but Ben is weirded out when he's on top because he feels like his penis is all up in the baby's face.  Could she please get on top?  Alison gets on top but then feels all ugly as she thinks he's staring up at her double chin and her boobs are all squishy and flying everywhere, "so National Geographic".  He asks her to do it doggy style but Alison says she's not a dog and so they do it in a different position but when the baby kicks, Ben gets weirded out again and Alison gets upset and says she won't ask him to have sex again.  As she falls asleep he goes out to the living room to smoke some weed and all of a sudden there's an earthquake.  Everyone runs out of the house but Ben doesn't check up on her and runs out holding his bong.  While waiting outside she asks where he was and he said that he forget she was sleeping over.  She says that now she's not sure if he can handle taking care of her and the baby as he's always smoking pot.  When they get back into the house she's sitting in the kitchen floor as he tries to clean up.  While he makes small talk she touches and notices all things that show Ben in a negative light.  There's weed everywhere, a Samurai sword, and to make matters worse, the baby books they bought that he said he was going to read are still in their original bag, unread.  She's disappointed but Ben doesn't notice.

On the way to a doctor's appointment they both get in a fight.  She kicks him out of her car in the middle of the road and when he says no Alison screams at him and he finally does.  She heads to the doctors herself and gets upset when the nurse has to move the weight on the scale up one notch to better accommodate and her weight.  She tells the nurse that maybe she should take off her shoes or her belt first.  Ben arrives and makes a sarcastic comment and they fight again.  He's pissed that he had to walk 3 miles through Korea town just to get to the doctors and she says that since she's giving up her body, her job, her life to have this baby that even if she's wrong about something he should just let her be right.  He says that he's the one that proposed to her and she was the one that rejected him.  She says that she's hormonal and Ben says to her hormones "f*ck you, hormones, you're a crazy bitch, hormones, not Alison, I'm talking to the hormones, et."  She tells him to go fuck his bong and he leaves after flicking her off.

Alison is back at work and in her boss's office with Jack and Jill and they say that they wished she would have told them about her pregnancy earlier.  Because then she would have found out that they embrace pregnancy and that in fact it's the new big thing in Hollywood and that she's gonna have her own little show where she interviews pregnant stars.  And that afterwards when she has the baby she'll just... "tighten up".  It shows Alison on the red carpet interviewing people.  They keep coming up to tell her how big she is (Jessica Alba, Eva Mendez).  The audience can tell that she's feeling fat and uncomfortable being there and when she interviews Steve Carrell (from The Office) she kinda makes a fool of herself and tells him that it's okay, he can say that she's all fat and sweaty.  He tries to walk away from her and she begs him for an interview and says "don't be an asshole!".  Cut to her sitting with the edit guy who again makes fun of her but says that he can edit all that out.

Ben and Pete end up going to Las Vegas to deal with their issues.  They both take some mushrooms and go watch Cirque D' Solei.  Ben trips out and they both run back to their hotels.  Pete says that Debbie loves him but it's like he's incapable of accepting her love.  The here he has someone who loves him so much that that she wants to be with him all the time and the fact that she wants to be around him all the time is the biggest problem of their marriage.  Ben calls him out, he can't believe that Pete is incapable of accepting Debbie's love and they both agree that they just want to go home.  Meanwhile Debbie is trying to cheer up Alison so they get dressed and go to the same club again.  They walk up to the front of the line but the bouncer (played by Craig Robinson of The Office!!!) refuses to let them in.  Debbie makes a HUGE scene and he pulls her aside and in a funny scene tells her that he feels bad that he has to judge others just by their look.  He's only permitted to allow 5% of African Americans into the club.  That means out of 25 black people he's only allowed to allow one and a half in, so he'd "better hope there's an African American midget also in the crowd".  He says he can't let them in because Debbie is too damn old (for the club, "not for the Earth") and that Alison is pregnant, which is just bad parenting.  The girls leave and Debbie complains about how she just keeps getting older and uglier and that with age Pete keeps getting better looking.  And after having the babies and after getting married she has nothing left to look for.

They are throwing a birthday party for Debbie's oldest child.  Ben arrives with a present and greets Pete.  He sees the interaction between Pete and Debbie and they seem to be in good terms.  He goes to talk to Alison and tries to make up with her but she nicely declines getting back together.  She says that just because they are both two nice people doesn't mean that it will work between them and that they should just be friends.  She mentions him taking shrooms in Vegas which he tries to deny.  She wants him to be a part of her life and the child's life too, but she doesn't want to end up like Debbie and Pete.  Those two have to struggle to be happy and she doesn't want that to happen to them.  They are interrupted by Debbie because it's time for the cake.  Ben goes back into the house and asks why Pete even mentioned them taking mushrooms to Debbie because now  Alison won't take him back.  He says that Alison thinks Pete is a shitty husband and that Ben will be one too and he leaves.

Ben tries to get his act together.  He gets a job, an apartment, moves out of the place with his friends, reads all the baby books, sets up a baby room, et.  Meanwhile Alison has the whole place to herself as Debbie and Pete take the kids to Lego Land.  She feels some contraction and tries to call her doctor.  When she can't reach him she calls for Ben.  He arrives to find Alison in the bath tub trying to be calm so that they don't have the baby in a stressed environment.  She asks him to try to contact the doctor again.  When Ben finds out that their doctor, who promised never to go anywhere, is in San Francisco for a Bat Mizvah and won't be back until three days later, he leaves a really mean and awful voicemail with lots of expletives and "I hope you drop the chair and the kid falls and breaks a leg and I hope the airplane crashes..!"  He goes back into the bathroom to tell Alison the situation but he calms her down with all the new baby information that even she doesn't know about because he read all the baby books.  She's happy and they head to the hospital.

When they get there the mean Asian doctor is there assigned to Alison and he's a real dick.  Ben takes him out to the hallway to talk to him and the doctor goes back in to apologize.  Debbie and Pete (with a camcorder) come running in and Debbie tells Ben that he can leave now because she's here.  Ben takes her out to the hallway and basically kicks her out "this is my room, and that's your area with the Pepsi machines".  Alison starts trying to have the baby and she does a whole bunch of screaming and cussing, loud enough that the people in the waiting room can hear.  One of the nurse asks her to try to keep it down as she's probably scaring all the other pregnant women in the hospital ("Are you fucking kidding me?!").  The movie actually shows her crowning, when the baby's head is trying to come out... so warning to that... it shows like 3 times.  But Alison finally delivers and gets to hold the baby and everyone comes in to see her and Ben.  The last scene is of Alison, Ben, and the baby driving home.  She asks him if his apartment is big enough for the three of them.  He says absolutely and that he got a nice place in East L.A and that the only thing they have to worry about is whether they want to be part of the Bloods or the Crips (sp?).  She says she looks great in red and he says he looks great in blue.  Alison says to him that usually she would tell him to drive faster but as they have the baby on board, it's okay.  Ben tells her that he doesn't care if all the cars are honking to no end but that he's not going above 12 miles an hour.  The camera pans up to him driving on the freeway, holding up a bunch of cars behind him.  The credits just show them taking care of the baby together and taking pictures with family and friends.


*CUT TO THE CHASE*
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Ben (Seth Rogen) grows up. He gets a real job, a real apartment, reads the baby books, and does his best to be the man Alison (Katherine Heigl) wants to father her child. Pete (Paul Rudd) was not cheating on Debbie (Leslie Mann), and they continue to work out their differences as a married couple. Ben and Alison have the baby, and although we never see the wedding alluded to by Ben's proposal earlier in the movie, we do see the two of them raising the baby as a happy couple.

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