JEFF WHO LIVES AT HOME
NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Dukes.
The film opens with a quote that says: “Everyone and everything is interconnected in this universe.” The quote is attributed to “Jeff”. Cut to Jeff (Jason Segel) speaking into a voice recorder. He is talking about his obsession with the movie “Signs”, and how he believes that there are signs everywhere that will lead him to his fate / destiny. The camera pulls back to show that Jeff is sitting on the toilet.
Jeff moves on to smoking pot in his basement. While he is smoking, the phone rings. The person on the other end is looking for someone named “Kevin”. Jeff explains that nobody named Kevin lives there, and hangs up the phone.
Cut to Jeff’s brother Pat (Ed Helms) making breakfast for his wife Linda (Judy Greer). Pat pretends he’s just making breakfast to be nice, but really he wants to surprise Linda with the news that he bought a Porsche. Linda is pissed, because she wanted to save for a house and they can’t afford the Porsche. She throws her breakfast off the balcony on top of the car.
Back at Jeff’s house, he’s trying to make anagrams out of the name “Kevin”. His mother Sharon (Susan Sarandon) calls from work and asks Jeff to fix the pantry door. She says it better be done by the time she gets home that’s all she wants as a birthday present this year. When she hangs up, she is stressed, so she looks at a picture of a waterfall on her desk.
Jeff immediately catches a bus to Home Depot. But while he’s riding the bus, he sees a young black kid wearing a purple jersey that says “Kevin” on the back. When the kid gets off the bus, Jeff follows him. The kid goes to a grocery store, and then over to an outdoor basketball court. Jeff watches as the kid and a bunch of burly black guys play for a while, then one of the guys takes a charge and smacks his head on the pavement. They ask if Jeff wants to take his place.
Jeff and the kid are on the same team, and they score a bunch of points together. The kid takes a water break, and Jeff chats with him. The kid asks if Jeff has been following him, and Jeff says that he thinks meeting the kid was a sign. The kid asks if Jeff wants to smoke weed, and they head over to a secluded alcove. After Jeff takes a puff, two of the other basketball players punch him in the stomach and steal his wallet. The kid says, “Sorry man,” and walks away.
Meanwhile, Pat is drinking with a friend at Hooters when his mom calls. She wants Pat to help Jeff get his life together, but Pat says he doesn’t hang out with his brother. Just then, Pat sees Jeff walking by, and he runs outside to talk to him.
After Sharon hangs up the phone, she gets hit with a paper airplane. She unfolds the piece of paper and sees a picture of a flower.
Back at Hooters, Jeff tells Pat about the mugging, and Pat says he will drive Jeff home. They get in the Porsche, and Pat starts driving like an idiot to show off. He crashes his Porsche into a tree, and the homeowners run out of their house and start yelling at him. Because he’s been drinking, Pat has to pay to keep them from calling the cops. While they’re negotiating the price, Jeff looks across the street at the gas station and sees Linda getting into her car with some guy. Pat sees as well, and he wants to follow her. They get back in the wrecked Porsche and chase after Linda.
Meanwhile, Sharon is trying to figure out who sent her the flower picture. She receives an IM from an anonymous source. The IM says she has a secret admirer.
Back over to Jeff and Pat, who follow Linda to a fancy restaurant. Pat gets Jeff to sneak inside and sit at the adjacent booth, keeping his cellphone open so Pat can hear what Linda is saying. Linda is complaining to her date that Pat never listens, and they haven’t had sex in months.
While he’s eavesdropping, Pat’s Porsche gets towed because he parked in front of a fire hydrant. Pat chases after the car, and Linda gets up to leave, spotting Jeff in the adjacent booth. She awkwardly introduces her “friend” Steve, and Linda and Steve leave together.
Pat comes running back. He wants to keep following Linda, but they have no car. Jeff says they should wait for a sign of what to do next, and Pat scoffs at him.
Over at the office, Sharon meets her friend Carol for lunch and tells her about the secret admirer. Sharon thinks it must be a joke, but Carol is sure that it’s not a joke. Sharon says she hasn’t been in a relationship since her husband died.
Back to Jeff and Pat, who are walking down the street. They happen to pass by their dad’s grave, and they stop to look at the headstone. Pat says he’s been having a dream where his father asks, “What is the greatest day in the history of the world?”. Jeff answers “Today”, because Jeff has been having the same dream. He sees it as a huge sign, but Pat thinks it’s only a coincidence, that their dad must have said that phrase to them when they were young.
Jeff becomes extremely upset, and asks Pat why he wants to live his life with no sense of how special everything is. Pat says that Jeff is just a pothead loser, and Jeff says, “You and mom will never understand me, and you’re all I have left.” Just then, Jeff sees a truck with the name “Kevin’s Kandy” on the side, and he chases after it, jumping on the back to hitch a ride.
Pat catches a cab, but while he’s riding home he sees his wife’s car parked at the Hampton Inn. He stops the cab and tries to trick the concierge into revealing his wife’s room number, but the concierge won’t give the information.
Meanwhile, Jeff follows the candy deliveryman to an arcade, and then to the Hampton Inn. He sees Pat lurking outside, and together they try to hatch a plan to find Linda’s room. As they are talking, Steve comes downstairs for a bucket of ice, and they follow him back up to the room. Pat asks Jeff to bust down the door, and Jeff tries, but bounces off. Steve opens the door, and Pat immediately starts yelling at his wife. Steve leaves, and Pat and Linda get in a huge fight. Linda says, “Are you angry that I’m here with another man, or are you afraid you might lose me?” Pat says she is “babbling”, and Linda says it’s obvious their marriage is a failure, they should just get a divorce. She leaves for her mom’s house.
Over at the office, Sharon gets another IM from her secret admirer. She asks them to meet her at the water cooler. While she’s waiting at the cooler, a short bald man walks up. They start chatting and joking. Sharon is sure the bald man is her secret admirer, so she says, “I love flowers. Gardenias are my favorite.” He has no idea what she’s talking about. Embarrassed, she runs into the bathroom.
Sharon’s friend Carol comes in to the bathroom to console her. Sharon says, “This isn’t the way I imagined my life would be. How many good years do I have left.? I hate my kids right now, how did that happen?” Carol asks, “What did you think your life would be like?”, and Sharon tells Carol about her dream of entering the Peace Corps and kissing someone under a waterfall. Carol says Sharon can still kiss under a waterfall. Just then, Carol’s sweater pulls up, and Sharon sees a tattoo on her wrist that matches the flower that Sharon’s “secret admirer” sent her. Sharon is upset, and she won’t listen to Carol’s explanation.
Back at the hotel, Jeff joins Pat in the bedroom. Pat says “I think it’s over.” He tells Jeff, “I wish I could see the world the way you do, with belief.” Jeff says, “I’m not happy. When dad died I thought it had to be for a reason.” Pat says, “I just want to feel like I love Linda and she loves me. I miss it and I want it so bad.” Jeff says, “Tell her that.”
Back at the office, Carol calls Sharon on the phone. Sharon says, “I appreciate what you tried to do, but I’m not gay. I like men.” Carol says, “So do I. But I want to be with someone who gets me.” Just then, the fire alarm goes off. The sprinklers soak everybody, and all the employees run outside. Sharon is about to run outside as well, but then she starts to enjoy the water pouring down on her head. She sits down in her chair to experience it. Carol comes over and kisses Sharon, just like under a waterfall. They run out of the office together and hop in Carol’s car to do something crazy, to drive to New Orleans.
Meanwhile, Jeff and Pat are taking a cab to find Linda, but traffic stops ahead of them. Pat says he won’t give up, and he gets out of the cab to keep running after Linda. Jeff says, “If we don’t get a chance to reconnect today, I’m super proud of you.”
Pat starts running through the stationary traffic. Sharon and Carol are stopped in a car just ahead, and Sharon sees Pat running by. She gets out of the car and chases after him. Jeff is still sitting in the cab, and he seems sad all of a sudden. He says to the cab driver, “Have you ever felt like you were waiting forever to figure out your destiny, and when you do, it’s not really that exciting?” Just then, he sees a helicopter passing overhead. He gets out of the car and starts running after the helicopter.
Meanwhile, Pat has found Linda’s car and he says, “I want to be in love again.” Just then, Pat’s mom dashes up, along with Carol. Jeff pelts by them at top speed, still chasing the helicopter.
Jeff sees that the traffic has been caused by an accident up ahead. A car has gone off the bridge and is sinking in the water below. Jeff jumps off the bridge to help the people in the car. He surfaces a minute later with two little girls. He passes them to a man in a rowboat, and dives to save their father, who is still trapped. Pat has reached the accident as well, and he yells for Jeff. A man surfaces, but it’s the father, not Jeff. Pat dives in the water. After a few minutes, he comes to the surface with Jeff in his arms. The paramedics arrive and they give Jeff CPR, but he does not respond. Pat is freaking out, and finally Jeff coughs up a huge gout of water and sits up. He says, “I’m hungry”.
When Jeff and Pat head back to shore, their mom is waiting. They all hug, and Pat hugs and kisses his wife.
Cut to Sharon’s birthday dinner. Carol is there, and Pat and Linda are flirting and smiling at each other. Jeff plays the piano with a bandage on his hand from the accident.
Cut to Jeff back in his basement, watching TV. He sees the two little girls being interviewed on the news. They say, “If we had lost our dad I just can’t imagine it. I’m so glad that man was there.” The reporter says, “We’ll be back with more on the rescue of local councilman Kevin Landry.”
Jeff turns off the TV and fixes his mother’s pantry door.