ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH
This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy.
Scorch Supernova (Brendan Fraser) is on Planet Gnarlach with the mission to rescue five adorable babies. The problem, as Scorch's brother Gary (Rob Corddry) tells us, is that Scorch decided it would be a good idea to play with the babies, and wake up the Gnarlachs. They chase after Scorch and the babies, but with Gary's help from mission control at BASA, Scorch is able to get out safely with the babies.
On their home planet Baab, Scorch is treated like a celebrity for his heroism, and is greatly admired in particular by reporter Gabby Babblebrock (Sofia Vergara). Meanwhile, nobody seems to acknowledge Gary's work, especially his son Kip. Kip aspires to be as cool as Scorch. One afternoon, Gary gets a call from the chief of BASA, Lena (Jessica Alba), who says a transmission has been received from the "dark planet" (Earth). Scorch is tasked with the mission of responding to the signal from the planet.
Gary warns Scorch against going to the dark planet, but, since everyone is counting on him to go through with it, he prepares himself. The two brothers get into an argument, and Gary ends up quitting, though Scorch fires him anyway.
The whole planet watches from a broadcast as Scorch makes it to Earth. As soon as he gets there, he sees a light, leading him to a 7-Eleven. Scorch spots an inflatable waving thing and tries to befriend it, but a dart shoots at it. While he tries to revive it, a bunch of men in biohazard suits attack. Scorch manages to hold them off with his gadgets, but he gets a dart to the back by a man named Shanker (William Shatner).
Everybody on Baab sees Scorch getting captured as the flying camera that followed him gets crushed by Shanker. Gary immediately tries calling for help, but Lena brushes him off. Kip wants to go save Scorch right away, but Gary tells him that it's too dangerous and sends him to his room. When he goes to check on him later, he sees that Kip's run off. Gary and his wife Kira (Sarah Jessica Parker) use Gary's rocket boots to go off and get him. They find him in the mission control center at BASA, attempting to go out in a rescue pod to Earth, but Kira gets him out quickly as Gary cancels the launch. However, since Kip is determined to get Scorch back, Gary has a second thought and launches the pod out to rescue Scorch himself.
At Area 51, Shanker and his men observe Scorch. From his suit, they uncover a material known as "Blubonium". Scorch has no idea how it got in there.
Gary crash lands by Area 51. He is told by the BASA computer, Bing (Ricky Gervais), that the pod is going to self-destruct. He gets himself out before the pod explodes. He wanders into the 7-Eleven, where he meets Boomer and Ralph, two guys working there. Although they're initially freaked out by each other, the guys give Gary a Slurpee as a peace offering. He enjoys it until he sucks the whole thing down, causing a brain freeze. Suddenly, Shanker's men burst in and capture Gary. Back on Baab, Kira and Kip try to get Lena to help Gary and Scorch but seems totally indifferent.
In Area 51, Gary's brain is scanned and is classified as a genius. He is taken to Shanker, who says he has plans for Gary, and then has him locked up just as he's getting a phone call. He puts on a ridiculous wig and sets up candles, and through the screen, it's revealed he's getting a call from...Lena! Apparently, the two are in a romantic relationship and Lena had sent Shanker the Blubonium through Scorch.
In his cell, Gary befriends three aliens - Doc (Craig Robinson), a rodent-like creature; Thurman (George Lopez), a slimy slug creature; and Io (Jane Lynch) a large cyclops beast with anger issues. Doc informs Gary that these aliens are the true geniuses and masterminds behind things like search engines, social networking, and touchpads, but Shanker is stealing their ideas, forcing them to create products, and making deals with billionaires for his own profit. A loud snoring is heard, and Gary determines it's coming from Scorch. The brothers reunite, but Scorch is still making fun of Gary for getting trapped after coming to rescue him.
At BASA, Kira and Kip go to the mission control base and find out that Gary's pod blew up, but Kira knows that someone from BASA is behind that. That's when Lena enters with giant masses of Blubonium. They're spotted, and Kira is captured as Kip escapes.
During lunch, Scorch tries to get Gary to help him escape, but they argue and end up causing a food fight. It's broken up by Shanker, and he takes them, and the other aliens to see a machine that Doc, Thurman, and Io helped build, which they also believe is their ticket out of the place. Shanker applies the Blubonium sample to the machine and uses it to destroy Halley's Comet. Scorch grabs the Blubonium and tries to escape, but Shanker apprehends him and Gary. As punishment, Shanker has Scorch frozen until Gary can fix the sample. With help from the trio of aliens, Gary pieces everything back together. Meanwhile, on Baab, Lena locks Kira in a room while strapped to a chair, and Kip tries to go to her rescue, but he is locked up with her.
Gary goes back to Shanker to tell him the Blubonium is fixed, but he learns about Lena and Shanker's scheming, which stems from an incident from Shanker's childhood where the Greys (the aliens who work for Shanker) accidentally crash-landed their ship right on top of Shanker's dad. Gary is taken away and gets frozen, as well. When Shanker goes to apply the sample back to the machine, he reveals to the aliens that he plans on destroying other planets, starting with Baab. However, it turns out Gary set up a device in the sample, causing the machine to break down. The machine sends out a shockwave that breaks the frozen aliens from their prison, including Gary and Scorch. Doc, Thurman, and Io come to save them.
Still locked up, Kip gets some blast tape (something he and Scorch were playing with earlier), and uses it to free himself and his mother. However, Lena is already headed to deliver the rest of the Blubonium to Shanker.
The aliens escape Area 51 and head to the trailer park where Scorch left his ship. However, he forgets where he hid it, as it's disguised like all the other trailers. Gary gets Boomer and Ralph to create a diversion, and they locate the ship. The aliens blast off, but are pursued by some of Shanker's men. Gary gets in touch with Kip, who is sitting in mission control, and with his help, he steers the ship out of trouble.
On Lena's ship, she gets chastised by Shanker for not hurrying up. She starts weeping when Kira comes in and tells her that it's not too late to do the right thing. Lena doesn't listen and instead opens the ship to try and suck Kira out, but Kira manages to hold onto Lena and close the ship, knocking Lena out in the process. She gets Bing to steer the ship back to Baab.
As the other aliens try to get out of Earth, Shanker flies up using Scorch's mission suit, holding the ship back. Seeing no other way out, Gary jumps out of the ship to stop Shanker, and after seeing his courage, Scorch jumps out to help Gary. Gary manages to pull out the power source, destroying the suit and sending the three of them falling to the ground. Gary and Scorch apologize to each other and share a brotherly love moment right before the Greys catch them and Shanker. They admit they are peaceful and felt bad for squishing Shanker's dad, until they found out he was a psycho. They say they're doing to do something nightmare-ish to Shanker, who wakes up and tries to get Gary, only to get punched in the face by him. The other aliens come back down to get Gary and Scorch back.
The aliens make it to Baab, where they're joined by Kira (who's got Lena tied up). Gabby and the other people of Baab welcome the brothers back. Scorch tells Gabby, and everyone else that Gary is the real hero, and Kip tells him that he wants to be in mission control, just like him.
Gary then tells us that Scorch is in trouble again, three days later. Turns out, it's Scorch's wedding day - he's getting married to Gabby and Gary is the best man. Doc marries the two of them, and Scorch is happy to see the inflatable waving tube man among the guests. He starts to wave just like the tube man, which causes everybody to start waving in rhythm as Boomer and Ralph act as DJ's for the reception. Gary concludes by narrating that he didn't need to go to another planet to discover his greatest adventure is being with his family.