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THE ROAD TO EL DORADO

editors note:
I can't see every film out there so this spoiler was sent in and spoiled by:
theHolmboy

First of all, they don't end up with any gold. That being said...

The movie starts out with the two buddies/con-men Tulio (Kevin Kline) and Miguel (Kenneth Branagh), getting caught cheating at craps with loaded dice. They escape with a map to El Dorado, the legendary City of Gold. But in their escape, they end up on a ship of the Spanish explorer Cortes. He locks them in the brig as stowaways. They escape the ship with the help of a clever horse named Altivo (Frank Welker) and they end up on an island with a bird-shaped rock, just like on their new map. They use the map, stumble through the jungle and find the entrance to El Dorado. While they're standing there at the entrance thinking they've wasted their time, a beautiful native girl Chel (Rosie Perez) appears, but is being chased by guards because she stole some gold from the temple. When the guards find her with them, they take them all through the secret waterfall passage to El Dorado.

They are welcomed by the high priest Tzekel-Kan (Armand Assante) who proclaims them to be gods, but is plotting to use their arrival to take power from the Chief (Edward James Olmos). To sustain the ruse Tulio and Miguel must recruit Chel, who also happens to be a con-artist. (How convenient) They talk the Chief into building them a ship to carry their new gold away, but it will take 3 days, so they must continue to be “Gods” for that time. Romance ensues between Tulio and Chel. Miguel goes out among the people and gains a love for them. Then Miguel & Tulio are challenged to a round of the local sport, which is kind of like Basketball. With the help of an armadillo that followed them from the jungle, they win against the city’s “Dream Team”, but Tzekel-Kan sees that Miguel is bleeding and he realizes they are mortal. Tzekel-Kan also wants the “Dream Team” to be sacrificed for losing, but Miguel will not allow it and fires him, so to speak.

Tzekel-Kan then uses his magical powers (and the sacrifice of his assistant) to summon a giant stone Jaguar to destroy Miguel & Tulio. The Jaguar chases Miguel & Tulio up to the edge of a cliff over a giant whirlpool, the ledge breaks off and Tzekel-Kan and the stone Jaguar go toppling off. Miguel and Tulio are heroes! But Tzekel-Kan survives, finds Cortes and offers his assistance to help him to find the city of gold.

In the meantime, Miguel tells the Chief he wants to stay (the Chief is savvy to the fact that they are mortal). Tulio, Chel and Altivo are just getting on the boat to leave with their gold, when they see that Cortes is coming. (He’s very noisy) So they devise a plan to knock a large pillar down, as the ship is leaving, to block the entrance so Cortes can’t get in. The ship’s sails get stuck, Miguel jumps aboard to loosen the sails, but they discover that the ship won’t fit through the passage. So the four of them bail out, the ship and pillars block the entrance up and they come out riding a big wave, but they left all the gold on the now-buried ship. (Sob Sob) They hide, Cortes comes up to where the entrance was and seeing that they cannot enter, he takes Tzekel-Kan as a consolation prize. So the three ride off on Altivo to other adventures. (I hope Altivo can swim)

GODS OR CON MEN?
Gee, I wonder...
Tulio, Miguel and Chel. They end up without the gold, riding off into the sunset.
Buy the Soundtrack!
Elton John and
Tim Rice