NOTE: This Spoiler was sent in by Brentage5000 who says... "If you liked Super Troopers, Smokey and the Bandit, or the chase scenes in the Bourne movies (Bourne Identity/Bourne Supremacy), stop reading and go see this now. Otherwise, let's move on..."
The film starts off welcoming us to Hazzard County, Georgia, a nice old place where folks just sit back and are generally nice to each other, and where things generally move real slow...except for the Duke cousins, Bo (Seann William Scott) and Luke (Johnny Knoxville). We see them rocketing down roads -- dirt and paved -- in their '69 Dodge Charger nicknamed the "General Lee" on a moonshine delivery for their Uncle Jesse. They get to the Pullman farm and are greeted by the attractive Laurie, who is currently having an affair with Luke. He takes in the moonshine and starts making love with Laurie while Bo waits in the car and listens to Laurence Fishburne reading "Racing Greats" when Laurie's dad and her brother Jimmy suddenly come up. Jimmy goes inside while Mr. Pullman brags to Bo about his new shotgun and it's ammo which puts a clean hole through anything...and which lets Bo see Luke and Laurie going at it through a turkey, until Jimmy yells out and starts shooting at Luke with his shotgun. The Dukes barrel into the General and take off with Pullman and his son in hot pursuit. Jimmy manages to shoot the General a couple of times, but eventually they end up on a closed road and the Pullmans end up in a nearby swamp while the General jumps a bridge, goes through a field, and ends up wedged between two bulldozers...although the moonshine bottles are intact, which means Bo gets to book Luke (hit him in the face with a phone book), who had bet that they would break. Bo reaches through to the backseat to grab the moonshine, but it ends up breaking as soon as he lifts it. Luke hits Bo back and the two walk over to the local diner, the Boar's Nest.
Once the General pulls up to the nest, the Dukes see a really fine looking race car parked out front, and they pause to admire it (Well, Luke admires; Bo doesn't so much admire as.....drool) and talk about the upcoming race on Saturday with some people, which the General will definitely be in. Once inside, they talk with their semi-pal, Deputy Enos Strate (Michael Weston) who hints at something big happening in Hazzard County soon. A couple tables over, we see one of the guys on the pit crew for the racer out front, Dil Driscoll (Michael Roof) chatting with a couple locals when he suddenly spots the most curvaceous and beautiful waitress in the place, Daisy Duke. A couple old-timers try to warn him off, but he ignores them. She notices him staring and comes over to take his order, but he just makes some lewd comments that end up getting him knocked on the floor with her foot on his throat. Right about now, the owner of the car out front, Billy Prickett (James Roday) comes in and saves Dil from Daisy. Bo goes over to talk with Dil and Billy, since Billy's a hometown hero of sorts, but Dil keeps after Daisy, and Bo remarks that she's his cousin. Dil asks if they're kissing cousins, and, well......gets knocked down by Bo, who gets tackled by two other guys, who get punched out by Luke, who gets hit by a fourth guy, who gets a pool ball in the face by Daisy and a fan, and it devolves from there until Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane (M.C. Gainey) shows up. He tells the Dukes that he found the General at that construction site and basically tells them he had a few guys beat it up. Bo moves to beat him up, but Daisy stops him and they head over to the local garage to get it and have it looked at. Later, we see Jefferson Davis Hogg, a.k.a. Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds) stop by the bar and tell Coltrane to keep an eye on the Dukes so they don';t mess things up.
Meanwhile, over at Cooter's garage, we see Cooter (David Koechner) showing a much dented and graffited General to the boys and Daisy, although he does say it'll be ready for the race on Saturday. In the mean time, he lends them his tow truck, which they take over to Uncle Jessie's farm. At the farm, Daisy works on fixing Jessie's moonshine machine while Jessie (Willie Nelson) jokes around with the boys while Bo shoots arrows at gas cans. The jokes are pretty good, too -- "You know what happens when a politician takes Viagra? He gets taller! Here's another one; drunk walks out of a bar and runs into a guy carrying an antique grandfather clock. The guy drops the clock, breaking into a million pieces. He looks at the drunk and says, 'Why don't you watch where you're going?' The drunk looks at him and says, 'Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else?' Oh, here's another one; how many Dukes does it take to screw up a moonshine delivery?" The boys look properly chagrined as they see some cops pulling up. They head into the barn and see Roscoe there with a planted still. He tells them that he is seizing this land in the name of Boss Hogg, so they all better clear out. They head over to their neighbor Pauline's house where Bo and Luke decide to check out that construction site to see what Boss Hogg is up to.
That night, we see Cooter working on the General -- and making quite a bit of progress on it too, considering this is still Friday -- when Roscoe comes in and tells Cooter that whether "that orange piece of crap" is fixed tomorrow or not, he's auctioning it off come morning. As soon as he leaves, Cooter makes a call to someone saying that they've got work to do. back with Bo and Luke, we see them breaking into Boss Hogg's trailer over at the construction site. They look for evidence until Luke realizes that it must be in the big safe next to Hogg's desk. Since they're in the tow truck, they do what any sane man would -- feed the chain and hook through the fence, hook it around the safe, and motor out of there with the safe bouncing down the road...until it gets stuck on a phone pole. Luke gets out to fix it and tells Bo to give it some gas, which he does. When he gives it too much, Luke yells, "No, Bo, no!", but Bo gives it more gas and Luke ends up riding the safe down the road at forty miles an hour (Jackass, we hardley knew ye) until Bo brakes to avoid hitting a security car that was after them since the site and ended up in front of them. Unfortunately, Luke ends up hitting the car with the safe before bouncing back behind the truck. He gets up, gets in, yells at Bo, and the two decide to head over to Sheev's Bait Shop to try and blast the safe open as the security guy lets Roscoe know where they're heading.
Over at Sheev's, we see Roscoe pulling up in his cruiser. He goes up to Sheev (Kevin Heffernan), a classic conspiracy theorist who rarely puts on pants, and asks him where the Dukes are. Sheev says he hasn't seen them, and Roscoe leaves. As soon as he does, the Dukes pop out of the freezer (Jackass moment #2) and they wire the safe up out back to blast it open. It doesn't work until Luke takes one of his flaming arrows and aims it at the safe, which makes a huge explosion. Inside the safe the three find some papers and a bunch of core samples which the Dukes need to take to Georgia State University in Atlanta to get analyzed. From there the boys head over to Cooter's to pick up the General and they see that it's not only fixed, but it looks better than ever -- paint job, General Lee lettering above the doors, etc. They blow out of the parking lot just as Roscoe and friends come to take the car and leave them behind thanks to some tire nails someone thoughtlessly left on the road (oh, that Cooter). While Roscoe curses, the boys head off honking the new-and-improved "Dixie" horn...much to Luke's dismay.
The next day -- Saturday -- we see a disguised Daisy stop by the jail to interrogate Enos about where Hogg and the boys are, but she gets interrupted when Billy comes in. She follows him out back and sees that Hogg is now paying him $200,000 to race...but not to win, and not even to beat the Dukes. Daisy sneaks up on Billy and asks him about it, but he won't really give her a straight answer. Meanwhile, in Atlanta, the boys are stuck in traffic where Luke is sleeping and Bo is dreaming of hooking up with Katie Johnson, an old friend of theirs from Hazzard who now goes to the University. Luke wakes up just in time for people to start doing hick impressions on either side. They look at the roof of the car...and see that Cooter went and slapped a Confederate flag on the roof of the General in addition to everything else. Anyway, they get to the University and find the sorority house where Katie is living, and after encountering about twenty sorority chicks in nothing but towels (Bo to Luke: "Focus, man. Focus."), the majority in a room where they're all smoking some drug or other (as they leave that one, some of the girls call out, "Bye, Luke!"), they find Katie (Nikki Griffin) and her Australian roommate Annette (Jacqui Maxwell). After seeing Katie, Bo faints, which makes Katie say, "He still does that, huh?" (long-time crush), but he gets back up, and the girls force them to wait downstairs while they get dressed.
Outside, the group heads over to the science building, but they get pulled over by a black campus cop for doing 8 in a 10 zone. They take off doing definitely no less than twenty-five and arrive at the science building, covering the car with a nearby tarp, which Bo apologizes to the General for (something about hiding its beauty) and while the girls wait, the boys steal a couple of lab coats and pretend to be reps of some Japanese company to get their core sample analyzed. The guy doing it tells them it's coal and shows them what a coal mine looks like, and the Dukes figure out that Hogg is fixing to strip mine Hazzard County. The boys promise the guy that he got the job and will be making 40,000 yen a year (that's $24 a year to you Americans, and anyone else reading can do their own exchange) at their company in Bangkok. They leave just as the cop from before comes in looking for them and start heading for the freeway, but at a stoplight are approached by a gang of black thugs who are pissed at them for two reasons -- the flag, and the fact that thanks to them playing around in the lab, they're now covered with coal and look like they're trying to be black. Before anything happens though, a cop pulls up -- a black cop, which means everybody gets to go to jail. While there, the boys get visited by Hogg, who basically gloats and says that they don't have a chance. He also reveals that the only way for the mining to be stopped is if the town voted against it, but since he set that court proceeding up for today and everyone's at the race, there's no one to stop him.
Later, as the boys are being driven from jail to...somewhere else...the arresting officer and his partner sees a rather attractive young lady stopped at the side of the road. The driver gets out, approaches the girl -- Daisy -- and asks what the problem is, and...well, you've seen the trailer. He gets down to look, as does the other one, and she lets the boys out while they're busy. The boys take the keys to the cruiser for good measure and are off with the entire Atlanta police force after them (this chase beats Bourne by far). During the chase, it comes out somehow that Luke and Katie were lovers, something that does NOT please Bo...and isn't pleasing to Katie either, when she finds out that Luke had said he was okay with it. Eventually, Bo gets calmed down and they jump onto the freeway and head for Hazzard. They drop the girls off at Sheev's and head into town. On the way, they run into Billy and his crew and try to get him to help, but he's happy with Hogg's plans. As they're leaving, they get a call from Daisy on their radio that Hogg is at the farm holding Jessie and Pauline hostage (she had visited Enos while wearing a super-small bikini).
Down at the farm, Hogg is getting ready to head down to the race track and he tells Roscoe to keep the Dukes busy. Meanwhile, the Dukes have been making some radio calls and just as Hogg leaves, they show up and start hollering for Roscoe. He comes out...along with a hundred or so officers. While this is going on, the unguarded Pauline and Jessie are freed by Daisy and Cooter, who were hiding in the fake fridge and ceiling, respectively. Bo and Luke get most of the cops away from the farm and head for the track, where the race is about to start. Luke jumps out along the way for something (Jackass moment #3) just as the governor of Atlanta and Hogg start the race...about thirty seconds before the General comes through, followed by fifteen police cars. Meanwhile, Roscoe has gone back inside to his charges but finds that they've escaped. Furious, he heads for the courthouse, where he proceeds to wait with the judge until noon so the hearing can get started.
Back on the racetrack, Bo is catching up with the other cars and managing to get a couple offroad when he suddenly recieves help -- in the form of Luke driving Boss Hogg's car while Uncle Jessie tosses moonshine bombs out back at the cops and tosses jokes galore at Luke. Meanwhile, Cooter and Daisy are trying to get the road to the courthouse clear. Daisy tries walking up to the cops and using her usual methods (claiming her jeep has broken down), but the presence of a female state cop there puts a kibosh on that plan. Meanwhile, on the trasck, Bo and Billy are neck and neck until Bo lets it all out and crosses first...but he and Billy keep racing, now heading for the courthouse. Meanwhile, Cooter has moved his tow truck right in front of the barricade and put the ramp down on it (yeah, you know why). Suddenly, Billy and Bo come racing around the corner. The cops scatter, Billy brakes and crashes, and Bo heads for the ramp and jumps the barricade. Shortly after, Luke and Jessie come driving up and Luke rams Hoggs car though the barricade, making Uncle Jessie say, "Gimme your goddamned license." Luke smiles and says, "What license?" The Dukes and the rest of Hazzard County -- and the governor -- head inside and outvote Roscoe on the strip-mining. Hogg tries to get the boys arrested on some trumped up charge anyway, but Daisy gets the governor to pardon them for all past crimes since they're "environmental heroes" or something. In the end, a big ol' barbecue was held to celebrate everything (we see Jessie, Sheev, and the gov getting high in some shed during it), Boss Hogg had a fair bit of explaining to do, and the Duke boys, well...
We fade in on a field out in the county somewhere, where the General sits a-rockin'. Inside, we see Katie and Luke making out in the backseat. In the front, Annette is kissing Bo fiercely and making love talk to him while Bo makes love-talk to...the General ("I'm gonna give you a bath later...would you like that? You're so beautiful...just ignore her. She's crazy.") They get interrupted, though, by Laurie Pullman and her brother's shotgun from the beginning of the film. The love-making stops and the General gets out of there, with Laurie chasing after it on foot and threatening to kill Luke.
During the end-credits, we see Jessie singing some country tune while outtakes from the film play, most of which involve either the Dodge Chargers that play the general getting wrecked or Seann William Scott screwing up somehow.
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