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CRANK 2: High Voltage

NOTE: This spoiler sent in by Marcus.

The film begins with the ending moments of the first film. In retro-arcade fashion, Chev Cheelios (Jason Statham) falls out of a helicopter with Ricky Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), the man who poisoned him. Chev crushed Verona’s throat with his bare hands, killing him. Chev then bounced off a car and landed in an intersection. He appeared to be dead, but was still alive. Almost immediately after splattering on the pavement, Asian gangsters pull up in a van and scoop Chev up. They throw him in the back of the van and speed off. A newscaster (John de Lancie) gives a report for TV. He says that the man who was responsible for the day’s mayhem fell from a helicopter with another man. When Chev fell on the car, he hospitalized the old lady who was driving it. The police have not recovered either body of the men who fell from the helicopter.

Some time later, we see Chev wake up on a bed. He looks around and sees Asian doctors and nurses. He looks down and sees that his chest is completely open. Johnny Vang (Art Hsu) smokes a cigarette and puts his ash out on Chev’s exposed heart. The doctors get after him for doing that, but then Johnny just spits into Chev’s chest. The doctors remove Chev’s heart while he’s still awake and place it in a red cooler. Johnny takes the cooler and leaves. The doctors then place an artificial heart into Chev’s chest, which causes him to pass out. Later on, Chev wakes up due to a nurse taking a urine sample from his penis. The doctors come back and plan out the rest of the operation. They are going to harvest his organs, and the first one they’re going to remove is his dick. Chev won’t have any of that, and so he kills the doctors. Chev sees that he has a battery belt wrapped around his body. He doesn’t know what it’s for, and so he keeps it on. He walks around and sees a topless Asian girl give a massage to a guy in a room. Chev steals the guy’s clothes and goes outside, where there’s a maze of crates. The light on the battery belt starts to go out, and a henchman finds Chev. He knocks out the henchman and takes his pistol. While walking around, he comes across more henchmen. He shoots and kills everyone in his path until he gets to the last man (who ran out of bullets). Chev, shotgun in hand, demands to know who he works for. The guy won’t budge, and so Chev knocks him over and shoves the shotgun up the guy’s ass. The guy says that he works for Johnny Vang, and that he’s at the Cypress Members Club. Chev leaves the shotgun in the guy’s ass and walks off.

Chev hotwires a car, but his heart starts to slow down. Chev doesn’t know what to do, and so he gives himself an electric charge with the car’s wires. Fired up, Chev speeds off to find Johnny Vang. While driving, he calls Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam), who’s watching TV with his assistant Chocolate. Miles can’t believe that Chev is still alive. Miles figures out that the Triads gave Chev an artificial heart. He explains everything in confusing scientific terms, and so he breaks it down easier for Chev – the battery belt is keeping him alive by supplying electricity to his artificial heart. If the belt breaks, the heart will then run on a back-up power supply within Chev’s chest. The back-up power supply will only last an hour. He can stay alive longer by supplying his body with electricity. The bottom line though is that he needs to get his heart back or else he’s dead. Chev drives next to a couple of big Latino gangsters and ask them for directions to the club. He doesn’t pay attention to the road, and so he crashes (which launches him through the windshield). The battery belt broke during the crash, and so he now only has an hour to live. He asks the gangsters for jumper cables. They look confused, since his car is totaled. However, Chev takes the cables and attaches them to his body (one on his nipple, one on his tongue). The gangsters juice Chev up and give him directions to the club.

Chev runs to Cypress and asks the local gang members where the club is. They point him to a run-down dilapidated house. A fat gangster throws prostitute Ria (Ling Bai) through the front door and beats her. Chev intervenes and saves Ria. He then goes into the house and starts to throw all the Triad members out. A bunch of prostitutes leave, and Johnny escapes with the cooler. Ria smashes the fat gangster’s crotch with a bicycle and becomes devoted to her savior. Chev doesn’t want anything to do with her, but she says that she knows where Johnny is. Chev tries to steal a station wagon, but fails, and so they walk to a strip club, which Johnny frequents. Johnny and his henchman are in the kitchen. Chico (Joseph Julian Soria), covered head-to-toe in tattoos, and his men beat Johnny up. Chico also slices the elbow off of Johnny’s guy. Johnny says that they can make a deal, and Chico listens. Chev enters the strip club, which is filled with sleazy guys and naked strippers. A stripper starts to work the main stage and pole dances, throwing her jacket off (which lands on Chev). Chev is then shocked to see that the stripper is Eve (Amy Smart). He stops her dancing and asks what she’s doing there. Eve, like everyone else, thought that Chev was dead. She has a new boyfriend now, mullet-head Randy (Corey Haim), who’s also at the club. Ria gets in a catfight with Eve over Chev, ending with Eve smashing a bottle over Ria’s head. Chico and his guys come out with their guns drawn. They want Chev alive and ask him to surrender. Chev has Eve duck and fires at the gang, kick-starting a big shootout. A lot of strippers are shot to death, including a woman who gets shot through her breast implants (which ooze out of the wounds). Chev shoots Chico in the side, but Chico is able to escape.

Chev and Eve leave the strip club but are cornered by a bunch of cops. Chev’s heart also starts to lose juice again. Chev tries to fight the cops off, but is too weak. The cops arrest Eve and another stripper, putting them in a police cruiser. While beating Chev, one of the cops uses a taser on him. This gives Chev a burst of energy, which he uses to throw everyone off him. He grabs the taser, uses it on the cops, and then steals a cop car. While driving around, the other stripper is horny for Eve and keeps rubbing up on her. Eve asks Chev why he didn’t call her. He says that he did when he fell (though nothing was audible due to the wind). The other stripper has freed herself and has her hands all over Eve, who knocks her out. Chev uses the taser on himself, but it runs out of juice. He also calls Miles again, and he learns that Johnny goes to the horse track regularly. A couple of cops spot the stolen cop car and follow. Chev comes to a halt when Ron Jeremy, Jenna Haze, and a swarm of porn stars protest in the street for better pay. The cops catch up to Chev, who gets out of the cruiser and runs away. He sees a bunch of skateboarders sliding down rails. He tries to do the same using just his feet, but winds up falling on the rail, hitting his crotch. At a nearby park, a couple of guys argue about an electric dog collar on their dog. Chev runs up to them and removes the collar, telling them that it’s cruelty to animals. However, he places the collar around his own neck and orders the guys to shock him. They do, and Chev starts acting like a dog. The cops show up again, and so Chev runs away again. The dog feasts upon a cop’s crotch while the others continue the foot chase.

The cops corner Chev and it looks like he’s going to be caught when Venus (Efren Ramirez) shows up on a motorcycle. Chev gets on and they speed away. Venus is Kaylo’s twin brother, and he is determined to get revenge for Kaylo’s death. Venus also has full body Tourette syndrome, which causes him to flail around and crash the motorcycle. Chev tells Venus that he already killed all the guys responsible for Kaylo’s death. Venus becomes disappointed, saying that he should’ve been the one to kill them. Chev cheers him up by telling him to find El Huron, saying that he was also responsible and he’s still alive. Chev goes to the horse track and calls Miles again. He’s running on fumes, and so Miles suggests friction/static electricity via touch to get pumped up. Chev rubs up against a man (Chester Bennington) but the guy gets creeped out. Chev then eyes an old woman using a walker nearby. Eve shows up at the horse track to find Chev rubbing all over the old woman. Security comes, but Eve gets them to leave by saying that Chev is drunk. Chev spots Johnny but is too weak to give pursuit. He sits down on the ground and says that he needs friction. Eve sits on his lap and grinds on him. They get up and wind up falling onto the horse track. Chev throws Eve’s tiny shorts into the crowd and has sex with her in front of everyone. The crowd cheers as Chev pounds away at Eve in a plethora of different positions. Even Johnny has become amused by the public sex. Eventually, Chev spots Johnny watching from the stands. A worker at the stadium hoses Eve off of Chev while he chases after Johnny.

Johnny gets to the parking garage, where Venus is waiting to kick his ass. But Venus flails around again, allowing Johnny to get to his car. Chev chases after Johnny on foot and jumps down through each level of the parking garage. Eventually, he jumps down on top of Johnny’s car and hangs on. As they drive through the streets, Chev tries to get his hands on the cooler but is thrown from the car. Johnny flicks him off and gets away. Venus catches up with Chev and then a limo pulls up next to them. It’s Don Kim (Keone Young) and his gang. Chev and Venus get in the limo. Don Kim has come to explain what’s happening with Chev’s heart. Venus starts to flail around again, and so they kick him out. Chev also puts his finger in the cigarette lighter to keep pumped. Don Kim says that Poon Dong is the leader of the Triads. Due to his old age, he was on death’s door with a weak heart. All the Triads would’ve been honored to give their hearts to him, but Chev caught his eye. Chev’s heart was able to survive the poison from the first film, and Poon Dong wanted his strong heart. As a matter of fact, Chev’s heart was already transplanted into Poon Dong a couple of weeks ago. Chev asks why Don Kim is helping him again, but he reveals that he’s not. There’s a big reward to bring Chev in alive, and he wants to collect on it. Chev grabs a gun from a goon and starts a shootout in the limo. Blood and gore spray everywhere, with Chev using a henchman’s body as a shield. He then unloads into Don Kim, killing him. With everyone shot to hell in the limo, including the driver, it crashes into a pole. Chev gets out and spots a high voltage power box nearby. He shoots it open and grabs hold of the cables, which gives him an energy boost and launches him backwards. Chev then runs off again.

The newscaster from the beginning gives another report on the mayhem caused by Chev, and a reporter interviews the old woman Chev grinded on at the horse track. The station also has video footage of the horse track sex, so they know what Chev and Eve look like. Elsewhere, El Huron (Clifton Collins Jr.) is pissed at Chico for not bringing Chev in. As punishment, he makes Chico slice off both his nipples. El Huron tells Chico not to fail him again. During this time, Eve storms off through the streets wearing only a wife-beater, pissed at Chev for abandoning her again after public sex. She runs into Randy, who says that the cops are looking for Chev. He wants to use Eve to set Chev up so that they can get a reward. Eve kicks the crap out of Randy and slams him on top of a car. Soon after, the cops arrest Eve. Venus calls Orlando (Reno Wilson), who gives his condolences about Kaylo’s demise. Venus has Orlando find out where El Huron lives. Meanwhile, Chev calls Miles (who’s getting ready for surgery). Miles says that Chocolate is out on the streets, looking for Poon Dong. Sure enough, Poon Dong (David Carradine) gets horny for Chocolate and has her get in his limo. Chev runs into an ambulance where two paramedics (Michael Weston and Dan Callahan) are trying to save one of Don Kim’s guys from the limo. Chev asks at gunpoint if they have a battery belt for his artificial heart. As it turns out, they do. They strap it to Chev, which gives him energy. Chev looks out the window and sees Johnny nearby, so he jumps out of the ambulance. As he tries to sneak closer to Johnny, Ria blows his surprise by shouting to Chev, happy to be reunited with her white knight. Ria winds up being run over by a speeding car, which crashes into a fire hydrant.

Chev chases after Johnny and his guys. Chev kills Johnny’s guys and chases Johnny on foot through an alley. As they shoot at each other, we see a doctor (Glenn Howerton) getting therapy due to his run-in with Chev in the first film. He’s scared of going outside in fear of guns. His therapist tells him that he needs to live life to the fullest and visit a strip club. The doctor stands up newly confident, but then a bullet fired by Johnny ricochets into the office and hits the doctor through the head, killing him. Chev and Johnny wind up at a power plant, where Johnny knocks Chev into open power lines. Chev gets super-energized and lets out a roar. We see Chev and Johnny fight as if they were monsters in an old Godzilla movie. Giant Chev and giant Johnny fight in a miniature version of the power plant with miniature workers watching nearby. Chev beats Johnny up and smashes his face with the cooler. He has Johnny open the cooler, and he looks inside. The contents are not shown, but Chev is disgusted beyond belief. Chico shows up and blasts a hole in Johnny’s head, killing him. A henchman then knocks Chev out and they throw him into a car trunk. Chev has a surreal flashback to being on a talk-show as a young boy. Chev never knew his father, and his mother has had enough of his bad behavior. We see that Chev has had a taste for mayhem ever since he was a boy (beating up kids, stealing things, running from the authorities, e.t.c…). Chev wakes up being dragged by a boat in the ocean. Chico pisses on him while his gang laughs at Chev.

Venus sees Ria on the road and asks if she’s okay. They both flail around in the street and it turns out they know each other. Ria says that she’s been looking for her man, but he’s been starting to piss her off. Orlando and his gang roll up to pick up Venus. Ria says that her man is Chev, which causes Venus to take her with him. Elsewhere, the police interrogate Eve. They want her to help them get Chev, but she won’t budge. She makes bail and leaves. Chocolate lures Poon Dong back to her apartment, where Miles knocks him out and is ready to get Chev’s heart back. Chev is taken to El Huron’s mansion on Catalina Island, where Chico uses a cattle prod on Chev’s balls. They then take him outside, where El Huron is surrounded by his crew and naked women by the pool. El Huron reveals that he is Verona’s other brother, and he has Chev brought to a big white tent by the pool. The tent is opened and Chev can’t believe what he sees. El Huron and his guys were able to retrieve Verona after the helicopter fall, though all that was left was his head. They’ve had their doctors keep Verona’s brain alive in a tank of water with a bunch of tubes running through his disembodied head. They can’t keep Verona alive for long, but El Huron wanted him alive long enough to see Chev die. El Huron tears off Chev’s battery belt and viciously whips Chev’s back, much to Verona’s delight. Orlando and his gang, Venus, Ria, and a bunch of women show up armed to the teeth. A massive shootout follows, with most of the poolside women being killed. Venus shoots El Huron in the shoulder and chases after him. Venus fights his way through henchmen and flails around some more. Chev stabs Chico through the chest with the cattle prod, killing him.

Chev picks up Verona’s head from the tank. Verona asks for water, and so Chev kicks his head into the pool. El Huron sees this and is about to shoot Chev when Venus tackles him. As El Huron beats Venus, Chev’s heart starts to go out again. He spots a power pole nearby and stumbles towards it. He climbs the pole and reaches the top. He grabs hold of the high voltage power lines, which sets him on fire and blasts him to the ground. Chev, on fire, beats El Huron to death and throws him in the pool with Verona. Chev sees Ria, but thinks that she is Eve. He grabs her and kisses her, envisioning kissing Eve in front of the beautiful ocean. Ria is set on fire and runs away in agony. The film ends with Chev, skin starting to melt away, turning to the camera and giving everyone the middle finger.

During the end credits, we see Miles cutting open Poon Dong’s chest. Chocolate and Eve watch nearby as Miles successfully takes out Chev’s heart. Poon Dong appears to die in the surgery, and we see a horribly burnt Chev nearby. Miles places Chev’s heart back into Chev and attempts to resuscitate him, but Chev appears to be dead. Eve cries and Chocolate leads her out of the room. And then Chev opens his eyes…


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