COLLEGE ROAD TRIP
NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by Jacob.
The movie opens with a scene of a wedding. A man starts talking about how a father gives away his daughter and how it breaks his heart. He says that a father does not give away his daughter at the wedding, but during the College application season. He goes on to say there are over 4,000 colleges in the world and it’s all up to him to pick out the right one for his little girl.
He says there are five things in finding the best college: Academics, Distance From Home, Campus Safety, Distance from Home, and Distance from home. This led him to choose Northwestern University. It’s only a 28-minute drive from home, clocked. He goes on to say that his name is James Porter (Martin Lawrence), Police chief and doting father. We see him freaking out over presumably an acceptance to Northwestern University. He runs over to his wife and daughter screaming, “You’re in! You’re In”.
We then move to Fox Springs High School where we see a courtroom setting. They've turned the old story of the 3 Pigs & the Wolf into a courtroom case. Melanie Porter (played wonderfully by Raven Symone) is the defense and wins the case for the wolf, saying the houses were built to code and that there is no way a Wolf’s breath could knock it down. After the case all her friends are hugging her and when a boy tries to hug her, her father moves in and gives her a big bear hug. Outside, Melanie meets her principal and says to her that he got her removed from the wait list at Georgetown University, Melanie’s dream college, and she has an interview with him the following Monday.
At home we meet Trey Porter and his pig Albert (after Albert Einstein). Trey clearly wants to be a doctor, even requesting Orange Juice like a doctor would request, 13 CC’s. James goes on a rant about how the pig, Albert, is trying to screw with him and mess him up. His wife, Michelle (Kym Whitley) says he’s crazy and he should go to a doctor to have his head checked.
Next, we see Melanie leaving for the night and she’s stopped by her parents and the neighbors who ask her if she’s off to a “fatty party”. She replies no that she’s out to go have a major study rager with her mock trial friends. Melanie walks out to the car gets in and buckles her seatbelt. She tells her friends to wait as her father has a “Four wave” procedure. He opens the door twice waves and then opens the blinds twice and waves. After that, the girls scream “PARTY” and are shown at a party having fun.
Back at home, the dad is giving the neighbors parenting advice, which is then contradicted split screen style by Melanie at the party. The girls tell Melanie to go on a road trip with them to the University of Pittsburgh, which is surprisingly close to Georgetown. The next scene we see James opening a closet full of videos of how he has raised his daughter. Michelle tells James to cool it with the parenting advice but he says no that its essential to any parents training.
After the neighbors leave, Michelle and James settle in for bed. James gets up though and goes to his computer. He hits a few keys and the monitors are filled with images of security cameras. He quickly goes through them all and then sees Albert, the pig, staring right back at him. James flips out and goes back to bed.
The next morning Melanie gets a voicemail from Georgetown. Her and Michelle start freaking out as it says they need to be in DC on Monday. The whole family, sans James freak out. Melanie stops and asks Trey why he is so excited. He says he’s gonna turn Melanie’s room into a science lab. Her mother approves of the whole road trip thing and then the girls arrive and they join in the freak out.
We see a shot of James at a shooting range, his fellow officers are talking about college parties and James misfires into the targets crotch. We then see Melanie and her friends in the car talking about the road trip. As they pull up, they see James’s SUV with a sign on the back that says “Georgetown Express”.
Melanie runs to her mother and starts screaming about how her father is trying to ruin her life. The next morning, Melanie and James leave, but on the way, they make a stop at Northwestern. Melanie basically displays a load of disgust. They take a college tour of Northwestern, where they meet a boy named Nick. Melanie goes along with him and he turns out to be exactly like her father, a spitting replica in everything he says.
On this tour we meet, Doug Greenhut (Donny Osmond) and his daughter Wendy. James basically befriends them while Melanie is off. When she returns, she makes up this story about how Nick took her to this frat party and there was alcohol and sex, and James freaks out.
Back in the car, Melanie gets a phone call and it’s her friends and for the next five minutes straight all we hear from Melanie is “I KNOW!!!!” Her phone begins to die and James feigns a sigh of relief, but to his avail, Melanie pulls out her cell phone charger and hooks it in and the “I Know!!!!” continues on for another five minutes.
Traffic becomes backed up and James pulls out his GPS and asks for an alternate route to I-23. The GPS sends them along their way deep into the woods. James asks the GPS where they are going when the GPS suddenly fries out in the middle of giving directions. They are now lost in the woods. The car then gets a flat tire, so they pull over. James goes to the back of the car and says he can change the tire. He opens the back of his car and opens the Emergency Kit, and pulls it out to find Trey and his pig in there. James freaks out and says Trey could've died. Trey says no, that he built an air ventilation system and Albert and him could've survived. As James changes the tire, he cranks it a little too tight and the car suddenly tips over. Now they must walk.
They walk to the nearest location, which to them is a nice little country hotel. Inside they pass Albert the pig off as a hungry baby and the hotel clerk believes them. At the hotel, James calls Michelle and Michelle freaks out about Trey but forgives him after he apologizes.
Melanie wants to make coffee but James throws the beans out and says no. Albert gets into the garbage and starts eating the coffee beans. Albert gets really hyper off the beans and runs out of the room and downstairs into a wedding the hotel is hosting. Albert falls through onto a table in the wedding and James, Melanie and Trey chase Albert through the wedding tent terrorizing it.
The next morning they are at a diner eating, when suddenly Doug and Wendy walk in. Doug and Wendy insist on them driving with them to Pittsburgh. On the way they're talking about Melanie wanting to get into this law program called the Cooper Program, where Melanie would study abroad in Japan. James isn’t too thrilled by this. Doug and Wendy drop them off at a bus station and the four of them get aboard a tour bus entitled the USA Experience.
We see a bunch of Japanese people singing American songs. Melanie and James talk about Melanie wanting to go to Japan and how James is mad because him and Melanie have grown apart so much because of her wanting to go to Georgetown and to Japan. Melanie gets up and goes to the front of the bus and says she’s going to a sing a song that is very near and dear to her and her father. “Double Dutch Bus”, oddly enough the song used to promote the film.
The whole bus gets into the song and James is suddenly happy with his daughter again. They arrive at their grandmother’s house and their grandmother isn’t even expecting them. Grandma suddenly freaks out and tells all her guests to leave out the backdoor. James installs a fancy security system at his mother’s house too and it scares her because the lights are so bright.
Suddenly, Melanie’s friends pull up and James is annoyed that the girls stayed an extra night just to hang with Melanie. Melanie leaves and goes to the sorority house. James is a little antsy so he shows up at the sorority house. The den mother won’t let him in because he sounds like a sexual deviant to the den mother. Upstairs, Melanie and her friends are partying it up. Outside James pulls a ladder up next to the window and crawls in while the girls leave. He crawls under the bed and hides.
The girls stay up until about 4am talking about girly things (color contact, hair highlights, lip gloss, etc). They then fall asleep. The next morning Melanie and her friends are leaving and we see James is still upstairs asleep. A girl walks into the room and hears him snoring and freaks out. The den mother runs in and calls the police on James. She tazes him to make sure he stays down. Melanie is back at home freaking out when she gets a call from the police station. She flips out about where her father is.
At the police station, Melanie arrives and goes on a whole rant about how her father should trust her and not have to follow her around everywhere she goes. Melanie walks out on her father and leaves for the airport. James’s mother shows up to get him out. She goes on a whole long rant about how James is overprotective and needs to let his guard down and trust Melanie. James realizes the error of his ways and decides to run to the airport.
At the airport, James shows up and tries to talk to Melanie but Melanie doesn’t want to hear it and how Melanie can’t get to DC to go to Georgetown, exactly how James wants it. James sits down and tells Melanie how much he loves her and how he is overprotective. He apologizes and Melanie forgives him.
In order to get to DC, Melanie and James lie and say they are divers thinking they're talking about swimming. We soon learn that these people are skydivers and in order to get to Georgetown they are going to have to sky down to Georgetown. Melanie and James suit up and jump out of the plane and enjoy the sky diving experience.
They land on a golf course, where they steal a golf cart to get to the campus at Georgetown. Melanie rips her skydiving suit off and her hair is all sorts of frizzy and messed up but she has made it just in time to get to her interview. James hugs Melanie and in the process we cut to about three or four months later at Georgetown University.
Melanie is a now freshman. A lady says she just checked in Melanie's new roomate. Melanie asks who it is and we hear screaming. It’s Wendy. Melanie freaks out and not in a good way. Wendy says she chose Georgetown because of Melanie. Melanie hugs her mom and dad and says Thank You. James and Michelle smile as Melanie walks in for her first day at Georgetown University.
A few months later, at Thanksgiving, we are back at the Porter residence. They're having a party and they say Melanie is bringing a friend home from school. James says Melanie’s bringing a friend named Tracy who will be studying with her in Japan.
Melanie suddenly bursts in the door and introduces her parents to Tracy. A talk dark young and handsome man. James is irked. He goes on a whole thing about how Tracy is a girls name but he’s cool with it.
Wendy then introduces another boy who comes in and starts to sing, saying that he cant wait to meet the family. Wendy announces that they are getting married.
Eventually, they sit down for dinner and enjoy having their whole family back together.
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