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A PERFECT GETAWAY
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NOTE: This spoiler was sent in by Marcus

The film begins with video footage of a wedding. The footage is intercut with newlyweds Cliff (Steve Zahn) and Cydney (Milla Jovovich) driving in Hawaii on their honeymoon. Cydney videotapes them and notices for the first time a scar under Cliff’s chin. He says that his brother hit him when they were younger. In the wedding footage, we see the brother putting the groom in a headlock and various friends/family talking to the camera about the newlyweds. Cliff nearly crashes their jeep while talking to Cydney. They drive to a goods store and buy hiking equipment. While Cliff makes sure they have everything, Cydney says that it’s been since nine minutes since they’ve been apart. If he tells her that he missed her, she’ll give him a blowjob in the car. Cliff is too focused and doesn’t say it. He gets their permits to go on the hiking trail and pays for their equipment with a big wad of cash. Employee Chronic (Anthony Ruivivar) walks into the store and eyes the money. He helps the couple put their things into the jeep and they drive away. As they pull out of the parking lot, we see a newspaper on the ground. On the cover is a story about two murdered bodies being found in Honolulu.

Cliff and Cydney are shown around an island on a helicopter ride. Cliff has Cydney film him while he fools around in the helicopter. The remote island they are on only has two ways out – by hiking or by kayaking. After the helicopter ride, Cliff and Cydney drive around in their rental jeep when they come across Cleo (Marley Shelton) and Kale (Chris Hemsworth) trying to hitch a ride by the side of the road. Cliff decides to stop for them, which Cydney doesn’t agree with. Cleo says that they are heading towards a beach about 10 miles down the road. Cliff gets intimidated by Kale, who has the words “do not revive” tattooed over his heart. Kale starts to put their bags into the jeep when Cliff says that they’re heading towards the big trail, not the beach. He says that they should just wait for another car to pass by. Cleo says that they’ve been trying to hitchhike for an hour. Kale gets pissed and angrily starts to unload their bags. Cleo shows Cydney some photos. Cleo and Kale just got married in a Walgreens store and are on their honeymoon as well. Cliff and Cydney have a change of heart and decide to drive them to the beach. However, Kale rejects them and forces Cleo to get out of the jeep. Cliff and Cydney drive off.

They get to the start of the hiking trail and excitedly begin the hike. They get to a narrow ridge in the trail and both are unsure of whether they can make it across. Another hiker, Nick (Timothy Olyphant), shows up and shows them how to get across. Cliff, following Nick’s guidance, makes it across fine. Cydney though almost falls to her death when a helicopter suddenly flies by, but Nick grabs her and pulls her to safety. The trio walks together and Nick recognizes Cliff from somewhere but can’t place him. Cliff says that he’s an aspiring screenwriter. While Nick pees, Cliff mentions that his first work is being made into a movie, but the studio hired another writer to do rewrites. Nick says that he took a writing class once and knows a little about screenplays. He says that every story needs a red herring. While hiking, they come across a group of girls trying to get their cell phones to work. One of the girls says that when they still had service, her father told her about some murderers being in Oahu and having killed two people already. The victims had their teeth pulled out and their fingerprints removed. The police are looking for a man and a woman as suspects. As it turns out, Cliff and Cydney just came from there before they decided to do the trail. Nick mentions that he was also just there.

The trio continues to hike when Nick decides to break off from them. He says that he just hiked back to get some things that he forgot. Cliff and Cydney discuss whether they should stick with Nick (who is walking back to his camp) or if they should continue. Nick doesn’t mind either way, and so they decide to stay with him. They come to a waterfall, where Nick’s girlfriend Gina (Kiele Sanchez) is lying down on a raft naked. Nick takes off his clothes and joins her in the water. Cliff and Cydney didn’t know that Nick had company, and that they apparently don’t care about being naked. Nonetheless, Cydney strips down and gets in the water while Cliff goes off on his own to try to find a signal for his cell phone. Cliff finds a signal and uses Google to look up the story about the murderers. It turns out that the killers were unknowingly photographed. Cliff uploads the image onto his phone. As he looks at the photo, Cleo and Kale startle him. Kale is still sore about Cliff turning them down earlier for the ride. Cliff says that he offered them a ride afterwards, and so he doesn’t know why Kale is so hostile towards him. Cliff thought that they were going to a beach, but Kale says that they decided to take the trail. Cliff thinks that they’re following them and gets uncomfortable. Kale says that people die out there every year. Cliff tries to leave, but Kale blocks his way. Nick shows up and sticks up for Cliff, allowing him to leave.

They go back down to the waterfall where Cydney and Gina are. Gina asks if she and Nick can tag along with them on the trail, since they’re all going to the same place. Cliff and Cydney say yes. As Cliff looks through his bag, he can’t find the permits. Cydney says that maybe he left them at the store, but Cliff is sure that he packed them in his bag. He goes off and looks through Cleo & Kale’s bags for the permits, but doesn’t find it. What he does find is a business card for Kale’s parole officer. Cliff, Cydney, Nick, and Gina continue on the trail and get to know each other better. It turns out that Nick is some type of ex-special forces guy. He says that officially, he can’t tell them exactly what he was. Unofficially, he says that he’s an American Jedi. While on a mission, he got shot in the head. Doctors were able to save him and put a metal plate in his head. He doesn’t mind much, since whenever he goes through a metal detector he can sneak through with a hidden knife, which he keeps strapped to his leg. Gina tells them that Nick is hard to kill. Nick tells Cliff that he should write a screenplay about him. Further on the trail, Cliff gets nervous since there are fewer people the farther they go. He goes off with Cydney to pee and shows her the photo of the killers on his phone. He asks her if the killers look familiar. They turn their attention towards Nick and Gina. Cydney says that the killers could be anybody and tells Cliff that they’re fine.

It eventually starts to rain, and so they decide to set up camp. While the women stay dry under a cover, the men set up tents. Nick easily does this while Cliff struggles. Nick tosses Cliff his hatchet and he catches it. Nick remarks that he has good reflexes. Meanwhile, we see someone walking by their camp unseen by the group. Later on, Cliff comes out of the tent to see Cydney and Gina looking in the distance. He asks them what they’re looking at, and they tell him whatever Nick is looking at. Nick stares into the forest and comes back to the camp. He says that a couple of goats passed by the camp. He makes a bow and arrow and tells Cliff to come help him hunt dinner. Cliff doesn’t want to go, and so Nick makes cat sounds. Cliff is goaded into going on the hunt, armed with the hatchet. Both men venture out in the forest. At camp, Gina talks about her relationship with Nick. He was into her but she turned him down. When he moved on, she became interested in him and they eventually became a couple. Gina asks Cydney what she has planned for the future. Cydney wants to have a bunch of kids with Cliff. Gina lights up a joint and offers it to Cydney, but she says that she’s not into dope.

Meanwhile, Cliff asks Nick why they’re hunting since he hasn’t seen any goats around. Nick comes clean and says that they’re not hunting goats. He says that they have a shadow, having seen someone lurking around the camp. He wants to find out who they are. Cliff asks if it’s Cleo and Kale, but Nick doesn’t know. He also mentions that he knows Cliff has thought of him and Gina as the killers. They were there when the murders took place, as were Cliff and Cydney. Cliff says that it’s a coincidence that they were all there at the same time. Nick doesn’t mind that Cliff suspected him and Gina, since it’s only his screenwriter mind at work. Back at camp, Cydney talks about growing up in a small town. There was a guy named Rocky that everyone thought was perfect, and she dated him. However, she saw that there was something else going on with Rocky, something darker that he kept hidden. One day, they went out to a make-out point and he fingered her. Afterwards, he led her nearby and showed her that he strangled a cat with panties. Rocky said that if she ever told anyone, he would kill her. Gina is the only person she’s ever told. Cydney remarks how it’s strange how much people talk about themselves to strangers.

Nick leads Cliff through the forest and has fun with him, making him constantly stop while pretending that danger is nearby. Cliff realizes this and ends the joke. As Nick walks off, Cliff sees a camp nearby. He tries to signal to Nick, but Nick is already long gone. Cliff moves in closer and then gets startled by someone. Cliff grabs the person and throws them to the ground, threatening them with the hatchet. It turns out to be Chronic. Cliff really did leave his permits at the store, and Chronic came out there to give it back. The rain clears up, and Cliff goes back to camp. Gina asks him where Nick is, but he doesn’t know. Nick shortly arrives, carrying a bloody goat on his shoulders. He killed it with his bow and arrow. Gina gets the hatchet from Cliff and takes out a hidden knife from it. She then guts the goat, cuts off its head, and prepares it for dinner. While Gina works, Cliff and Cydney talk in their tent. Cliff says that Nick and Gina have officially graduated to the crazy category. Cydney agrees, and they both want to ditch them. However, they can’t just leave due to how remote it is. Since they are two miles away from a beach, Cliff says that they’re just going to have to ride it out with Nick and Gina. They’re going to keep Nick and Gina happy so that they can all arrive at the beach alive.

The next morning, Cliff wakes up hearing a helicopter flying around. The two couples watch as the helicopter lands nearby. Cliff wants to see what’s going on, but Nick holds him back, telling him that they should stay out of it. Cliff, Cydney, and Gina go down to the helicopter. A cop keeps them back at a distance. They see that Cleo and Kale are being thrown to the ground and arrested. The authorities believe that they are the killers. As they’re being loaded into the helicopter, Kale says that they’re innocent. The cops search through their bags and find several teeth inside. It looks like the search for the killers is over. The authorities take off with Cleo and Kale in tow. Cliff, Cydney, and Gina all breathe a sigh of relief since each couple suspected the other as the killers. They go back to camp and pack up everything. They continue on the trail and finally get to the beach. Cliff has Gina record him and Cydney with their video camera overlooking the beach as a rainbow shines in the background. They go to the beach and have fun with a few other hikers. Gina ventures out to a waterfall while Nick plays football with the other hikers. Cliff chats with Cydney while looking at the ocean. Cliff approaches Nick and tells him that he paid the other hikers forty bucks to rent two kayaks for an hour. He wants Nick to go with him to explore some cave nearby. Nick tells him that he was planning on doing something with Gina, but Cliff goads him into coming along. They take off in the kayaks.

Gina comes back and sees Cydney sitting in the distance on the beach. She yells out and asks where Nick is. Cydney yells back that they’ll be back in a little while. Gina finds Cliff’s camera and starts to go through his wedding photos. One particular photograph catches her attention and she drops the camera in shock. She runs along the beach and tries to warn Nick to come back, but he’s too far to hear her. She tries to call him, but she doesn’t have a signal on her cell. She grabs the hatchet and runs to find higher ground. Cydney finds the camera on the beach and realizes that Gina saw the photographs. She chases after her. Gina climbs up some vines and continues to run. Cliff and Nick get to the cave and relax. After a little while, Nick realizes that something is wrong. Cliff takes off his glasses and breaks them in his hand. Cliff then pulls a pistol on Nick as he reaches down for his knife.

A series of flashbacks reveal that Cliff and Cydney are the killers. They have a habit of killing people and then stealing their identities (their idea of living forever). They killed the newlyweds from the wedding video and changed their appearances to look like them. They also removed the teeth and fingers from the bodies so that they couldn’t be identified. Gina saw that the bride and groom in the wedding photos were not Cliff and Cydney (since they stole the camera from their victims). They learned about their victims from all their friends and family talking about them in the wedding video. Earlier, Cliff planted the teeth in Kale and Cleo’s bags to frame them. When he encountered Chronic in the forest, he told them that he suspected Kale and Cleo were the killers, which led the authorities to arrest them. Cliff is really Rocky from Cydney’s story. When they were on the beach, Cliff told her not to mess up their arrangement. Cydney loves him, but he doesn’t feel the same way. They then smoked crystal meth before Cliff approached Nick about kayaking. Cliff and Cydney planned on killing Nick and Gina, then stealing their identities.

Another series of flashbacks focuses on Nick and Gina in Oahu. Gina goes inside a ring store and looks at a group of rings. She tells the cashier than when she leaves, her boyfriend is going to say that he forgot something and go back to the store without her. She wants the cashier to show him what rings she was looking at. Sure enough, as Gina and Nick walk away, Nick says that he forgot his drink and goes back to the ring store. The cashier shows him the rings Gina was looking at. Nick shows the cashier that he already has an engagement ring and was planning on proposing to her while looking at a sunset. He asks the cashier for her advice. If Gina would be happy with his ring, he’ll give it to her. If she’ll be happier with one of the rings she was looking at, he’ll buy one for her. The cashier says that Gina will be happy with any ring he presents her. Afterwards, they tried to run to catch a ferry leaving for the island but didn’t make it. Nick recognizes Cliff from the ferry, since he was on it with Cydney.

Gina winds up on the top of the cave and sees Nick & Cliff below. Cliff shoots Nick in the head, causing him to fall out of the kayak. Gina screams, which gives her away. Cliff shoots at her but misses. Cydney shows up with a knife and fights Gina, who fends her off with the hatchet. The weapons are knocked away and Cydney smashes Gina’s head against a rock. She then kicks her in the stomach and grabs the knife. Gina stands up, weakened, and grabs the hatchet. Cydney charges at her, but Gina flips Cydney over, causing her to fall down into the cave (where she lands in the water). As Cydney fell, she stabbed Gina in the leg. Gina threw the hatchet into the cave, almost hitting Cliff in the kayak below. Gina pulls the knife out of her leg and goes to get help. She gets a phone call from a phone operator. Gina tries to tell them that she’s in danger, but they won’t listen. She then hears a walkie-talkie nearby. Cydney, in a kayak, tells Cliff where Gina is. Cliff suddenly climbs up and grabs Gina. She kicks him away and he fires the gun at her, shooting her in the hand. While he tries to reach the top of the cliff, Gina stabs him through the hand. Cliff rips the knife out and tells Cydney to get to the beach. Once she gets there, the authorities will have their version of what happened. He chases after Gina through the forest.

Meanwhile, Nick wakes up in the cave. The back of his head is open, and we see that the metal plate saved his life. He ties his head wound shut, retrieves the hatchet nearby, and goes to save his girl. Gina gets to the vines and climbs down. She runs into a group of guys who are looking for their stolen kayaks. She says that Cliff attacked her, and one of the guys happens to be an EMT. He wants her to calm down so that he can look at her wounds, but she tries to run away. The men hold her down and keep her from running. Cliff climbs down and acts innocent. He says that Gina is a meth addict and is delusional. The EMT says that it’s strange that Gina is supposedly high, since her pupils are fine, whereas Cliff’s are as big as saucers. His cover blown, Cliff shoots and kills all the guys. Nick comes to the vines and jumps down, attacking Cliff. Nick is shot in the side while Nick has sliced halfway through Cliff’s hand. Meanwhile, Cydney gets to the beach. She hesitates at first, but flags down a helicopter.

Cliff, both hands wounded, sees that the gun is nearby. He manages to grab it while Nick grabs a knife. Cliff tries to shoot him but misses due to not being able to properly hold the gun. Nick grabs the gun and holds it to Cliff’s throat. Cliff laughs, since the helicopter arrives and the authorities order Nick to drop his weapons. Cliff says that if Nick kills him, the cops will kill Nick. If Cliff gets arrested, he’ll act like the victim and beat the system. He promises that a year from now, Nick will run into him again only he won’t look like how he does now. He’ll look a lot like Nick. Nick drops the weapons and stands down with Gina. Cydney, in the helicopter, informs the cops that the other killer is Cliff. She points out that he’s going for the gun while Nick and Gina have their backs to him. A sniper sees this and shoots Cliff in the forehead, blowing his brains out.

Nick and Gina are loaded in a helicopter to get medical attention. He’s strapped to a stretcher while she sits nearby. The sunset in the background, he pulls out the engagement ring and proposes to Gina. She gladly accepts and they try to kiss, but Gina’s seatbelt holds her back. She asks him how long he’s had the ring. He says that it’s been over a year. She gets after him, asking him what took him so long to pop the question. He says that he was just waiting for the right time.

The film ends with Nick and Gina telling each other that they’re going to skip the honeymoon.


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