"On the morning of his re-election, the President decides to read the newspaper for the first time in four years. This starts him down a slippery slope. He begins reading obsessively, reexamining his black and white view of the world, holing up in his bedroom in his pajamas. Frightened by the President's apparent nervous breakdown, his Chief of Staff pushes him back into the spotlight, booking him as a guest judge on the television ratings juggernaut (and the President's personal fave), the weekly talent show American Dreamz. America can't seem to get enough of American Dreamz, hosted by self-aggrandizing, self-loathing Martin Tweed, ever on the lookout for the next insta-celebrity." http://movies.yahoo.com
We start with a fax being printed out that shows the show American Dreamz has captured ninety-two percent of the American audience. We then see Dreamz host Martin Tweed (Hugh Grant) pick up the fax as his latest girlfriend comes up to him and tells him she's leaving him. Instead of addressing this, Martin instead focuses on the ratings for his show, which prove two things -- one, American Dreamz is very popular among people, and two...Martin is a callous son of a bitch. From here we switch to a more pleasant morning -- breakfast at the White House for President Jack Staton (Dennis Quaid). Jack has just been reelected and for the first time in four years, is determined to take it easy this morning by just sitting in bed, eating breakfast, and reading the paper. Switch now to an Iraqi terrorist training camp, where we see a demo video being shoot, except one of the recruits -- Omer (Sam Golzari) -- keeps screwing up,, missing his marks, and so on. That night, we see Omer getting ready to go to sleep when he takes out a record, puts it on...and starts singing, "One! Singular sensation..." until one of the other soldiers comes over to his tent, breaks the record, and tells him to keep it down.
Back in America, we see Martin outside the offices and studio where American Dreamz is filmed. He is praying to someone for the next season to not come, but when his assistants Ittles (John Cho) and Accordo (Judy Greer) come up, he's positive again. He goes inside and tells the entire production staff that in order to stay the top rated show in the nation, they need....freaks. Regular, normal people that they can easily manipulate and that people will be able to relate to. On that note, we go to meet Sally Kendoo (Mandy Moore with pun). She is anxiously awaiting news on whether or not she has been accepted to be on the show when her mother Martha (Jennifer Coolidge) calls up to her. Sally opens the door and is greeted by Ittles and Accordo, and she immediately starts screaming...and is told to go back inside and act excited again since the cameraman dropped the camera (he's afraid of screaming). Meanwhile, we see the President still locked in his bedroom reading the newspaper when his unnamed Dick Cheney look alike vice president (Willem Dafoe, and I'll just call him Dick for the sake of argument) shows up, saying that he has to get out of bed and talk to the press, but he still refuses. Back at Sally's, a celebration is going on for her and we see Sally and her boyfriend William Williams (Chris Klein) in her bedroom. She says how nervous she is, but he expresses the utmost confidence in her. This boosts her ego so much that she then decides to break up with him so he doesn't slow her down.
Right about now, we see the other Iraqi soldiers getting sick of Omer's antics so they send him to America on a mission wherein he will stay with a cousin of his and await further instruction. Omer does so and we next see the boy outside the house of his aunt and uncle and their children, the rather attractive Shazzy (Noureen DeWulf) and the possibly transsexual Iqbal (Tony Yalda), who has sent in his own audition tape to American Dreamz. Meanwhile, we see Dick giving a press conference about how the president is doing just fine and that the rumors of a nervous breakdown are just that, but immediately after that we learn that such is not the case -- he is now worse than ever and has possibly hundreds of newspapers in his room, all organized by date into neat little piles. Dick tells him that he has been in here for three weeks when the first lady (Marcia Gay Harden) comes in with some anti-depressants, which Jack reluctantly takes. The next few scenes are of Jack running the country much better than before, with the help of a little earpiece that Dick thought up where he tells the president exactly what to say (important). We also find out that Dick has negotiated a place for the president as a guest judge on the American Dreamz finale. We also find out around now that due to his heartbreak, Willy has joined the army and is now shipping out to fight in Iraq, something which surprisingly enough saddens Sally, even though she has Martha lie to him for her about where she is when he comes over.
Right about now, we see Iqbal showcasing his karaoke skills on his machine downstairs and explaining how he had sent in a tape to American Dreamz. Meanwhile, we see Will on his first day in Iraq talking to a fellow soldier who has been there for fourteen months and gives Will one piece of advice -- "Don't get shot." Right then, the convoy they're a part of comes under attack, and a bullet flies through the tarp and right into Will's arm, destroying a tattoo of Sally he had put there. Back home, we see Sally meeting with her new agent, Chet Krogl (Seth Myers). He spins a story of how poor white-trash Sally's father left her for another woman (vetoeing the true story Martha mentions of another man), leaving her desperate for love and stuff. Right on cue, Will shows up outside and after prompting by Chet, reunites with him while he videotapes it all while she asks, "Did you get that?" Later, we see Martin watching this tape and saying that this girl is perfect, and he begins naming other stereotypes to get on the show, such as an Arab or a Jew. Some time later, we see Ittles and Accordo arriving outside of Iqbal's house when they hearing Omer singing. They track him down to the basement where he is borrowing Iqbal's karaoke machine and immediately change their tune. Meanwhile, we see Martin out in Ohio driving a red-hot Ferrari, and after impressing all the women in Sally's family, he tells her that she could win this thing and takes her for a ride in his Ferrari, and soon she's spouting Hollywood acid like a pro. That night, we see Omer telling his relatives what happened and that they want him to be on the show, and everyone except Iqbal is happy for him. The next day, though, a problem arises -- three terrorists come looking for Omer and tell him that since the president is going to be judging the finale, Omer is going to make it to the championship round and blow himself and the President up when the President shakes his hand. Later, we see Omer practicing his dancing when he is interrupted by Iqbal. Iqbal says that he's still angry about having been shut out of the show, but he has decided that he is more of a behind the scenes person anyway and is going teach Omer the right moves in order to win.
A few weeks later, we see the season premiere of American Dreamz. Martin comes out to a huge round of applause and goes to his extra cushy chair in the center of the audience. The fifty contestants (or "Dreamerz") then come out, all dressed in some kind of sparkly outfit. The first singer is Sally, who does a Mandy Moore/Kelly Clarkson type dedication to the daddy who left her and her mommy. We then see the remaining Dreamerz perform, and Martin pans some and praises others (he actually manages to get one girl, an Erykah Badu wannabe, to say, "I hate you!" as she's leaving). Finally, we come down to the last of the last and the final ten are revealed who will go on, and naturally Sally and Omer are part of that group.
The next few weeks are a frenzy of media exposure and publicity (shown against Sally singing an apparent theme song called "American Dreamz"), especially for Sally and Omer, who are developing their own little cult followings, thanks to Sally's down-home cuteness and Omer's catchphrase, "You've just been Omerized." Eventually we come down to the last show before the championship, and it's between Omer, Sally, and a backstreet wannabe named Bobby Hotchkiss. After much being played out by Martin, Hotchkiss gets the boot and our two finalists jump and hug each other while their respective audience members (Shazzy and Iqbal for Omer, and Chet and Martha for Sally) cheer like maniacs. One day, not long before the final, we see Iqbal, Omer, and Shazzy receiving room service, and Omer recognizes the waiters as the terrorists from before. He excuses himself and the terrorists inform him that they will be assembling the bomb at the studio and he will pick it up in the toilet seat dispenser of the men's room stall. Meanwhile, we see Sally in her room and Will talking to her. Clearly she is growing sick of Will's constant lovey-dovey, but suddenly he gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring. Suddenly Chet pops out and congratulates them, even though Sally is trying to interrupt with a refusal, and Chet says that they should do it tomorrow night just after Sally wins. He also says that they'll need a bigger ring to show up on TV, even though the one he has is great. That night, we see both Omer and Sally in the bar, clearly regretting everything that's happened since they came onto the show, and the two start talking. We learn that Omer is only here because of his mother's love for music, and that Sally used to weigh two hundred pounds, and had sworn that if she didn't lose ninety pounds by fourteen, she would kill herself. She lost the ninety, though, and right after she and her mom burned all the photographs of her being fat. She then wishes Omer good luck tomorrow night, and apologizes in advance for beating him.
The next night, we see the president getting ready for the show while at the studio, we see people being checked through (with the terrorists getting past the security checkpoints) and everyone in makeup, including Will, who seems particularly picky about how he looks. In Omer's dressing room, we see him freaking out over what he is supposed to do, although he covers it up making it some political thing, which way confuses Shazzy and Iqbal. Elsewhere, we see Martin and Sally in her dressing room, and he mentions how when he looks at her, he can almost see himself. She grins and pretty much offers herself to him. He takes, and as the presidents motorcade arrives and he is greeted by a nervous Accordo. Elsewhere, we see the three terrorists in the mens room with the just completed bomb, which they hide in the toilet seat dispenser as planned. Meanwhile, we see Will heading for Sally's dressing room with some flowers when he notices some crew assembled outside. They part, and he looks through the keyhole and sees what's going on inside. He pales and heads off. Meanwhile, Omer gets away from Iqbal and Shazzy and heads into the mens room and into an empty stall. He pulls out a sheet that says, "Wrong stall, genius" (no idea why it's in English) and goes into the next stall, where he reluctantly pulls out the bomb (there's a sign around the button that says "Press here to explode yourself") and puts it on.
Finally, showtime rolls around. We see Jack and Martin finally meet. The show starts and the president comes out to applause while Dick stands by and watches. Unfortunately, during the opening speech, some interference from a walkie talkie makes Dick tell the guy operating it, "Turn that frickin' thing off," which the president immediately repeats, to much confusion. Regardless, Martin gets past it and he and Jack head to their seats as Omer gets introduced. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), Omer has had an attack of conscience and run to the men's stall, where he takes off the bomb and throw it in the trash. He comes out onstage to many cheers and performs a brilliant rendition of "My Way", which moves even the terrorist trio to tears. Jack and Martin come down to congratulate him, and the terrorists anticipate the explosion, but it doesn't come. Martin introduces Omer to Jack and asks Jack what he thought, but thanks to some interference having caused Jack to knock out the receiver, he can't hear a thing Dick is saying. Nevertheless, he improvises a thank you, and than gets personal and admits that he doesn't think the problems in the middle east will ever be solved. Omer thanks him, but says that he hopes Jack is wrong, to which Jack responds, "I hope so too," causing a bunch of good feelings amongst all the Arabs watching.
While this has been happening, we see Will bust into the mens room and find the bomb Omer was supposed to have detonated. Meanwhile, Sally comes on wearing a fabulous white prom dress outfit and she says that her song is dedicated to her war hero boyfriend. The camera moves to Will's seat, but he isn't there. Suddenly Will pops up on stage and asks Sally how she could sleep with Martin. She acts innocent and Martin goes on stage to try and defuse the situation. Unfortunately, Will then reveals that he's wearing the bomb, and everyone except Martin and Jack screams and runs for the door. Jack talks to Will and tries to get him to calm down, telling him that it's better to deal with his problems, a speech that makes Dick smile proudly and go, "That's my boy." Unfortunately, Will is determined, and as the secret service takes Jack out of the building, Will starts singing the "American Dreamz" song in a beautiful tenor, and Martin grabs an unmanned camera and starts filming Will as the home audience starts calling and voting like crazy for Will. Will reaches the high point of the song, and just as he sings "Dreamz...with a z," he walks too far forward and accidentally detonates the bomb. Outside, we see a shocked Sally walking outside covered in dirt and ash into the arms of Martha. Meanwhile, we see Omer pointing out the terrorists to security and police as Jack is hustled into a limousine and driven away while Dick runs after, having been forgotten about in all the chaos.
Six months later, we hear Sally telling us that six months ago, we witnessed her boyfriend William win the finale before tragically killing himself while suffering delusions. She then tells us that Omer has gone on tour on Broadway with a revue of all the great Broadway hits, and we see that it is being directed by taskmaster Iqbal. She also mentions how great President Saton is doing now, and we see him and the first lady in bed, with him reading the newspaper while she takes military and economic reports, which they agree to switch doing later. "...and as for me?" says Sally, and we see that she is now the host of American Dreamz. She grins at the audience, and then tells America, "Now let's meet our Dreamerz!"
*CUT TO THE CHASE*
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Omer (Sam Golzari) gets into the finals with Sally Kendoo (Mandy Moore) and he is expected to blow up the starring President (Dennis Quaid) when he meets him. Omer can't go through with it and drops the explosives in the bathroom trash. Sally Kendoo has sex with Hugh Grant's character in her dressing room and her boyfriend Willy Williams (Chris Klein) sees it through a keyhole. When he's supposed to make a scripted proposal, Willy confronts Sally live on TV about her affair and threatens to blow himself up with the bomb he found in the bathroom while crying about Sally. Omer tries to talk him down but Willy is determined and hysterically breaks into song as the building evacuates. The only ones left are Willy and Hugh Grant - who feels Willy's performance must be captured on camera so he mans a camera and moves closer. At the end of the song Hugh Grant moves so close that he bumps into the button and detonates Willy and himself.
Six months later the President has appointed his wife as his new chief of staff, Omer tours around the country doing showtunes with his cousin as his director/manager, the terrorists go to jail after Omer fingers them in the ensuing chaos, and Sally takes over for recently deceased Hugh Grant as host of American Dreamz.
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