MAGIC MIKE XXL

NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Matt

The movie starts with Mike (Channing Tatum) sitting on a swinging bench on a Florida beach, watching the sunrise and drinking a cup of coffee. Finally, he gets up and walks to a truck labeled "Mike's Custom Furniture". He drives to pick up one of his assistant carpenters, Salvador (Juan Piedrahita) and we get a small montage of their average day: building furniture, picking up wood and other supplies, dealing with vendors and moving furniture.

During one of the moves, he gets a call from "Tarzan" (Kevin Nash) who leaves a voicemail on his phone. Tarzan informs him that "Dallas (absentee Matthew McConaughey) is gone".

Mike goes to a local motel where he was told to meet for Dallas's wake. The attendant at the desk has zero idea what Mike's talking about -- and we suddenly hear Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" loudly playing in the background. Mike walks toward the direction of the noise and finds a massive pool party with tons of women -- and his old stripper friends. Richie (Joseph Manganiello) appears out of nowhere, completely nude, and tackles Mike, falling into the pool.

Once out of the pool, Mike asks if Dallas was really "dead". The strippers are shocked to hear that Tarzan went that route to lure Mike out. Instead, Richie says that Dallas took "The Kid" (Alex Pettyfer - also absent) and went to Macao to do his show. Joe says they were all ditched after being fired. Ken (Matt Bomer) tells Joe that they need to stop giving the whole thing with Dallas so much negative energy. Joe mocks Ken's newfound spirituality and says that "Dallas isn't Voldemort".

They get to a hotel room where the strippers push the idea of doing "one last show" on Mike. Turns out there's a "stripper convention" out in Myrtle Beach and they want to do it up big there. Mike says that there's no emcee with Dallas gone. Tobias says he's taking over for Dallas and proceeds to imitate badly his "all right, all right, all right" bit. Mike smiles and says he has a lot of great memories, but he has a real life now and a business he runs and he needs to stick with that. The strippers understand.

Back at home, Mike continues to run his business, calculating spreadsheets and then goes to the freezer where a carton of ice cream has a note from Brooke (Cody Horn - absent as well) on it, stating, "Let's get fat together!" Mike smiles.

In his shop, he's cutting wood for a piece of furniture. Salvador asks if Mike looked into health insurance since he has a family to take care of. Mike is sympathetic to Salvador and says he's done the match, and he WANTS to give insurance to Salvador, but they need a couple more accounts and a retail space before Mike can pull that off. Salvador understands. Mike looks guilty and tells him to go home and eat dinner with his family. Mike continues his work -- when Spotify (yes, they actually name the music service) begins to play Ginuwine's "Pony". Mike smiles and shakes his head, then starts to build his furniture while grinding a long piece of metal to the beat. He sits down and rests -- then begins to dance before landing on his back, grinning.

The next day, the strippers are packing up their truck to head out to the Convention. Mike shows up and says he's in, much to their delight. Tarzan asks him if he can do that since he has a job. Mike says that he OWNS the company so he can do what he wants. They ask if Brooke's okay with it and wants to know if she gave him a hall pass. Mike says he doesn't need a "hall pass", he just came to have fun with the act.

They drive off, and Mike asks why they're all on a food truck instead of in a car or a bigger vehicle. It turns out that Tobias and Tito (Adam Rodriguez) are going into the food business with a traveling food truck business. They make "artisanal frozen yogurt". Tarzan is an artist, too, and he painted their logo on the outside of the truck. Mike's surprised to hear that the strippers all have hobbies but is proud that they're doing their business. Meanwhile, Mike won't get off his cell phone. They ask Mike if he's going to have his nose in his furniture business the entire trip. Mike says that he has no choice. There are a bunch of orders that came in, and the shop needs some guidance on how to handle it. Richie takes his phone away and tosses it out the window. Mike's ready to kick his ass but, instead, takes Richie's phone and tosses it out the window, too. Richie asks if Mike's satisfied. Mike says he's very satisfied now. Richie says that it's good Mike's happy -- because it wasn't Richie's phones. It was Tarzan's. The truck laughs at Mike and Mike apologizes, but still loses it.

Their first stop on the route is a drag club run by "Tori Snatch" (Vicky Vox) who the boys adore. She invites a bunch of "queens" to come up and do some dancing. Two gay guys start things off with a Voguing contest, and Mike's had enough. He tells his friends that he's digging the rabbit hole, and they should be ready to follow him down into it. He dances on-stage before all his friends join him, including Tobias, who ears a Carmen Miranda style headdress.

Following this, the action cuts to a nearby beach where everyone is winding down with drinks and a campfire. They all talk about their lives following stripping. Richie mocks Tito and Tobias for their Fro-Yo business. Tito says that it's better than Richie settling for raking the infield at Tropicana Field in Tampa. Richie reveals that he's gonna have a business himself: "Condomints". It's like ketchup and mustard -- but you're getting condoms with mints in them. Tori looks this up on her cell and tells Richie that they've been out for years, and you can get them at any gas station. Tarzan mocks Richie and says he has an idea about a "rectangle that you hold against your ear and use it to talk to people" but he "hasn't figured out the name for it yet". Meanwhile, Mike catches up with Ken and asks if he's still with his wife. Ken says they divorced a while back. He wanted to try monogamy, but that didn't work for her. Ken wasn't happy, so he left. That's why he's into spirituality and metaphysics, and he quotes Oprah, saying that "You need to accept someone when they show you their true selves." Mike's had enough of Ken's crap and tells him to get up for some "therapy". He asks Ken to hit him in the stomach which Ken does, reluctantly. Mike asks if Ken feels better. Ken says he isn't and storms off.

Mike goes to relieve himself in some nearby brush. He's interrupted by Zoe (Amber Heard), who snaps his picture as he pees. They do their intros and Zoe shows Mike the stuff she's shot so far. She photographs drag queens and is an exotic dancer/drag queen named "Dolly Titz". Mike tells her that he's a drag queen, too, and goes by the stage name of "Clitoria Labia". Zoe's impressed and invites him to a private overnight photoshoot on a nearby island. Mike declines and says he wants to head back to his camp. They go their separate ways.

The next day, Mike wakes up and sees that Ken is meditating on the beach. Ken says that he purged a lot of his negativity and the two exchange some pleasantries before Richie and Tito show up, having just finished tossing a football around on the beach. He asks if the two got lucky with their girls, Lauren (Crystal Hunt) and Megan (Carrie Anne Hunt). Tito says he did, and he got a number. He says that he'll look the girl up if he comes back her way, which he isn't opposed to. Richie, on the other hand, says that he hasn't had sex in 5 months because all the women he meets are scared of how big his penis is. He says they all settle on doing anything other than that with him. Mike is incredulous and calls it a "blessing and a curse" while Tito suggests that all Richie has to do is find a woman who "fits him" and tells him he needs to find his "glass slipper". Richie says he's nearing 40, and if it hasn't happened by now, it isn't happening.

They take off on the road while Tito and Tobias use the stoves on the truck to make some breakfast. They offer Mike a "Molly" and Mike reluctantly accepts, warning them that they'll all be "useless in an hour". Richie tries to go over their act program, but Mike's not impressed saying that their old routine has already been seen. He says that if they're going to do this, they're going to come up with some new acts. Richie's not happy with this, so Mike asks Richie how much of his own routine and music he came up with. Richie admits that Dallas handled it all. Mike says that's the reason they need a new act. Richie argues and says that there's no way he's giving up his fireman act…

We get a graphic on-screen that reads "54 MINUTES LATER".

They're all high on the Mollies they took. Richie is going insane, yelling ideas about his next routine: he wants to be in a wedding, wearing a tux, and the girl he dances for has a veil and everyone throws rice on them. You can barely make out anything because everyone's talking at the same time. The truck runs low on gas, so they stop at a local gas station that has a mini-mart. Richie mentions Mike's fondness for his "Pony" act and that he could never be like Mike in that vein. Mike explains that he got the idea for "Pony" because he saw a girl at a party who had a guy who probably wasn't making her completely happy. Mike says that "Pony" was simply him picturing what he'd do to that girl. He tells Richie has the skills to make any girl happy just by "tying his shoes". He looks into the gas station shop and points out the female clerk at the register, saying that Richie could even get smiles from her. Richie's not buying it at all but goes inside anyhow.

When Richie enters, "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys begins to play on the store's radio. Richie reaches down to tie his shoes. The clerk doesn't see it. He goes for a bag of Cheetos and rips them open, and the clerk just looks at him weirdly. He rubs up against the drink cooler in the back and grabs a bottle of water, opening it. He thrusts upward, making it squirt up in the air. He pours it all over himself and takes off his shirt. Meanwhile, Mike and his guys watch from outside, amused, but cheering. Richie slides to the counter, gets up and says, "How much for the water and Cheetos?" The clerk is still stone-faced -- then cracks and giggles. Mike and the strippers are ecstatic and cheer.

After getting back on the road, everyone's in good spirits. They begin to dump their old costumes out the window of the truck and then put their hands together and say a bit of a prayer, asking Tobias, who's driving, to join them. Tobias does, then pulls his hand back in and continues to drive…until he falls asleep at the wheel. The truck goes through a road side and into a small forest, crashing straight into a tree. They all get out and examine where they're at. Tobias is bleeding from his head, but everyone else seems to be all right.

They get to a nearby hospital where a doctor tells them that Tobias will live but because he hit his head, he needs to be kept under observation for 48 hours and cannot go anywhere. The guys agree. They visit Tobias, who apologizes for what happened. Ken tries to "heal" him which aggravates Richie to no end. Ken retorts, saying that dumping the costumes and their routine and the crash was all meant to be. Richie throws a temper tantrum and Mike says that he needs to relax because he's just coming down from the drugs they took earlier. Richie calls him an idiot. Mike agrees, saying he must have been an idiot and reveals that Brooke left him. He proposed to her, and she didn't accept, so here he is. This rallies the troops -- except when one of them points out that, without Tobias, there's no emcee for the group. Mike says he knows one in Savannah, Georgia. They ask about Tobias, and Mike says it's not a big deal -- they can pick him up on the way back home.

The boys arrive at "Domina", a small Savannah mansion that's been converted into a ladies' club for rich women. The doorman sees Mike in based on his name and brings him up to a room on the second floor. Inside the room is "Rome" (Jada Pinkett Smith) who runs the club. She and Mike kiss briefly, then she breaks it and tells him to sit down. They discuss their pasts. Rome taunts Mike, telling him that she knew Dallas would screw him and his friends. Mike says that Rome did the same to him. Rome decides to take him downstairs to show him what the club is about. They see several different stripper acts involving Augustus (Michael Strahan) and Malik (Stephen Boss) along with a small singing act with Andre (Donald Glover).

After this, Mike crew fraternizes with Rome's crew, and Mike reveals his plans for the Convention in Myrtle Beach. Rome's pissed, saying that the convention is a cheap expose and that she runs a class business. Mike says that he doesn't want to ask favors but that he thought he'd run the idea across her. Rome responds by bringing him back inside of Domina and grabbing a young girl. She plays to the crowd, telling them all that a "ghost" came back into her life and his name is "White Chocolate". She says that anyone who's been to Florida knows him as "Magic Mike". She wants to see if Mike still has some "Magic in his Mike". At first, Mike scoffs and says that Rome is being an asshole -- but gets into the act anyhow, entertaining the lady she picked out. The crowd goes mad, dropping dollar bills all over him by the end.

As the club closes, Mike says good-bye to Rome. Mike's sad she won't consider the emcee offer, but that's the way it goes. Tito has found a place for them to stay for the evening: the house of one of the girls from the beach. Rome has assigned Andre to drive them there. As they drive, Mike reveals that he and Rome had a "thing" and that it all ended when Mike went to work for Dallas. Meanwhile, Ken and Andre talk in the front seat. Andre has put some of his music online, hoping it will go viral. Ken's proud of him and tells Andre that he's a budding actor, himself. He commends Andre for what he's doing with his other skills. Andre tells Ken he'd still do his stuff at Domina if he became rich because he loves the attention from women.

They get to their destination: a beautiful mansion in the middle of the outskirts of Savannah. Entering, they find they've interrupted a girl's night full of rich, older women. The owner of the house, Nancy (Andie MacDowell), tells them to stay and have some wine with them. Mike's unsure, saying that Tito told them that this was where Megan and Lauren lived. Nancy wants to know how they know her daughters. They say they met them at a bar and Nancy buys it. She asks what they do and Megan and Lauren finally enter the room (along with Zoe), sitting on the couch with Richie and Tito. Mike says he runs a furniture store while Tito's in the food business. He says that Tarzan's an artist and Ken's an actor. They ask about Richie and Mike's got nothing, so the daughters finally say, "They're strippers, Mom." Nancy is loving this and says the night is getting interesting and that more wine is needed. Zoe says she's all over it and asks what they want. "Anything that looks expensive is just fine," she replies. Mike goes with her.

Zoe's a bit pissed off and bitter, and Mike can sense it. They grab a bunch of wine together (including a bottle of red wine from 1959) and head back upstairs. They discuss life and talk about their wants and needs. Nancy says that she's a divorcee who found out her husband was gay. She's not happy with the way her life has gone, so she's shunned the family life. Tarzan says that he doesn't feel that way at all. He says that he's had a rough life, but he'd trade it all for a wife and kid and house. It makes him sad that he can probably never have that. Mae (Jane McNeill) says that she's never had sex with her husband with the lights on. Ken comes to her rescue, saying that her husband doesn't value her and that he needs to be aware of her needs, or else another man will scoop her up. Ken sings Bryan Adams' "Heaven" to her and flirts with her and dances with her, much to Jane's delight. Nancy says that she wishes that she could have met Mike and his friends "back in her day" to which Richie responds, "It's STILL your day, ma'am." Nancy grins and blushes, then stands up and asks Richie to do the same. She asks if she can "pop Richie's hood" and Richie agrees. Mike retreats into the kitchen to retrieve Zoe.

Zoe eats Red Velvet cake and Mike tells her to come out and see the show because the "fireworks are about to begin". Zoe does not have it. Mike asks her what the problem is. She says she went to New York and got a photography job, but the guy who hired her was a snake: married and intent on getting some on side and used the "job" thing as an excuse. The whole thing turned her off. She's pissed at Mike because he made himself sound attractive to Zoe, and she's convinced that men are scum. Mike talks her off the ledge, saying that Zoe's experience was, indeed, awful. He tells her all about the Convention and that he'd love for her to be there because he wants to make Zoe smile again. Zoe: "Any God worth their salt always sends you men in thongs when in need." They finally introduce one another with their real names.

The next morning, Mike wakes up next to Tarzan, who's snoring like a buzz saw. He meets Tito and Ken downstairs for breakfast, sipping on beer. Several bottles of wine sit on the counter from the previous night. Richie comes into the room with Nancy and the two smile and kiss. She hands him a key remote and says good-bye to him. They ask Richie if they had sex and Richie nods. Tito asks if Nancy was Richie's "glass slipper". Richie nods again. "Every inch?" Mike asks. Richie says "yes." Ken shakes his hand, and they all celebrate.

When they go outside, Nancy's left them a beautiful Rolls Royce convertible to take into Myrtle Beach. "She didn't care what shape it came back in as long as it came back, "Richie explains. "It was her ex's car." The boys drive into town and, when they get to their hotel, they find out that Nancy has upgraded all their rooms, and they are to be treated like royalty. They even have free use of a conference room to plan out their routine for the convention. Near the pool, they discover that Rome, Malik, and Andre are all waiting for them.

The planning begins, and we get a montage set get to "The Groove Line" by Heatwave. Tarzan tries on outfits; Malik and Mike do a dance routine together, Andre and Ken instruct the DJ what to play and when, etc. That night, Mike and Tito finally talk about Tito's yogurt business. Tito is afraid because he thinks he'll be stuck making crushed ice cones and not going anywhere. Mike says that when they get back to Florida, he'll go over Tito's business plan and help him the best way he knows how.

The next day, they stand in line at the convention registration desk. Paris (Elizabeth Banks), one of the registrars there, sees Mike and flips out. He says that he wants to get in with his guys. Paris says she loves him but that they're not special, and there's nothing she can do -- until she sees Rome. Her and Rome hug…and kiss and get really close, causing Mike and his crew to look at each other, awkwardly. Paris says that she'll get Mike and his crew in -- but only as a favor to Rome. She tells them that she's "giving them the money spot" so they "have to make some money".

Backstage, we get a small montage of the acts lining up. There's a "spartan" act from "300", a bunch of black guys wearing leather and studs and even a "Neo" from "The Matrix". Tarzan sits alone and Mike approaches him, saying that they haven't had any one-on-one time since Mike got there. He asks how Tarzan's mobility is, and Tarzan says his knees feel okay, but he can't move very well anymore. He tells Mike he's nervous. Mike tells him not to be. Tarzan says that he called Mike out there because he missed him, not because he wanted to fuck with him by telling him Dallas was dead. They shake hands, and it's showtime.

There's a Twilight act going on, on-stage. "Jacob" and "Edward" shove one another before "Jacob" rips his shirt off and declares, "I FUCKED BELLA!!!" Richie just shakes his head, giving a "really?" look, then tells Mike and the guys that there's a Twilight act and that they're "cleaning up". Tarzan says it makes sense since the girls watching would be the same ones who saw Twilight in the theaters. Mike gets the group together for a pep talk. Rome interrupts and says she doesn't want a pep talk. She just wants action. She leaves. Mike does it anyhow, and they split.

Paris introduces them as "Resurrection" and they all come out, wearing boxing robes. They ditch the robes and just have jeans on and pose for the crowd. Zoe is front and center, and Mike winks at her before the lights go out for the first act.

Act #1 involves Tarzan, who dances for a woman and paints her picture. He does an nWo/D-X-style crotch chop (in real life, Kevin Nash is a retired pro-wrestler and he used to do that during matches) and then "paints" a portrait of the woman he dances for. He takes a bucket of glitter and tosses it at the canvas, and it reveals an outline of her figure with the word "Goddess" on top of it.

Rome introduces Tito in Act #2: he's an ice cream vendor who pulls three women on to a bench. He dances and grind before them, eating chocolate and cherries off their bodies and finishes by spraying whip cream all over them.

Rome tells them that the last act was a tasty treat and introduces Ken in the next act. Ken puts on a fedora and has slacks, suspenders, and a tank top. He dances to a song (he wrote and produced himself, called "How Does It Feel?") and sings it to random women who rub against him and pour dollar bills all over him.

Andre says that all women like commitment and that they're going to give women the chance to find that happiness. He introduces Big Dick Richie. Richie comes out in a full tuxedo and picks a woman out of the crowd as Andre sings Bruno Mars' "Marry You". They get a "ceremony" and big, fake ring and then make their way to the bedroom where the mood suddenly changes. The lighting goes completely red and Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" throbs over the speakers. Richie begins stripping to the music and puts her in a sex rack, grinding into her and the act ends.

Rome finally introduces the next act, saying that "grown-ass woman shit" is gonna do down for the final act. She pulls two women from the crowd -- including Zoe. Then she says her next dancers need "no introduction". It's Mike and Malik. The girls sit back to back with a large "mirror" between them. Both guys wear the same thing and mimic each others' movements in spectacular form. Zoe has the time of her life, and the act ends with Zoe tearing Mike's pants off, revealing a thong. Richie, Tito, and Ken are all in thongs, dancing with ladies in the crowd.

We cut to the after party on Myrtle Beach at night. It's the 4th of July. Slow-motion shots show everyone saying good-byes and the boys walking downtown with some of the ladies. Zoe approaches some friends and puts her arms around then. It's an atmosphere of friendship and camaraderie. We hear the sound of fireworks and see them lighting up the strip. Mike and company look up as DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win" plays. The movie ends with Mike grinning ear to ear while watching fireworks.


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