TUSK
NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Jeremy

Podcasters Wallace Bryton and Teddy Craft (Justin Long and Haley Joel Osment) are recording a bit for their show "Not See Party", laughing their heads off over a video that has caught their attention. It features a kid wielding a katana, giving him the nickname "The Kill Bill Kid". The kid accidentally cuts off his own leg, and this has given him a lot of hits on the web. Wallace is set to travel to Canada soon to meet the kid and get an interview with him.

Wallace makes it to Canada and meets one of the people working at the airport. Wallace already makes mistakes by saying to the man that he doesn't know about hockey, which is a "Canadon't". Wallace drives to the home of the Kill Bill Kid to find that his family is mourning him since he committed suicide. He calls Teddy in a bar to tell him the bad news. In the bathroom, he sees a note from a man looking to rent out a room, with the promise of hearing stories of adventure.

Wallace ventures to Bifrost to an estate called Pippy Hill to the home of one Howard Howe (Michael Parks). Howard moves around in a chair, seemingly unable to move his legs. He serves Wallace tea and begins to tell a story about how he fought alongside Ernest Hemingway when he told him his famous quote "Always do sober what you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." He even shows Wallace a bottle of liquor he shared with Hemingway. He points out to Wallace a bone on a mantle that belonged to a walrus, used during sex. Howard notes that once when he was lost at sea, he was saved by a walrus that he called Mr. Tusk. As Wallace hears the story, he starts to feel woozy. He realizes he's been drugged and passes out. Howard tells him, "It'll be alright, Mr. Tusk".

We see a flashback to before Wallace took his trip. He's getting oral sex from his girlfriend Ally (Genesis Rodriguez), but she stops as he's being rather rude about his trip. She prefers the old Wallace that was dorky and struggling in comedy, not the new Wallace that enjoys exploiting oddballs for his gain. He admits that he knows it's wrong, but all for the good of the show. He talks her back into continuing the oral sex.

When Wallace wakes up, he is disoriented and in a wheelchair. Howard tells him that he was bitten by a spider and had to be taken to the hospital, and that the bite caused his leg to swell up. Wallace pulls the cover off his leg and sees his left leg has been cut off and sewn up. He also sees that he's been strapped to the chair to prevent him from getting up. Wallace realizes what's happened.

During dinner, Howard taunts Wallace about his situation and his plan, which is to answer the "age old question" - Is man truly a walrus at heart? Wallace calls Howard a crazy fuck, and Howard stands on his own two feet, walking over to Wallace and slapping him. As Wallace screams, Howard mocks him and makes weird noises.

We see Ally delivering a tearful monologue as she addresses the fact that Wallace has apparently been cheating on her. She is being comforted by Teddy. In another flashback, we see right after the Kill Bill Kid show, Wallace admits to cheating on Ally with his fangirls. Ally has been calling Wallace and has not been getting answers. In reality, Wallace is trying to call her, and he leaves her a message, tearfully apologizing for being an asshole and to get help. When he tries to leave a message for Teddy, he gets knocked out by Howard

The next morning, after sleeping with Teddy, Ally gets her phone and hears the message from Wallace. She realizes he is in big trouble and gets Teddy.

Howard amputates more of Wallace's limbs until eventually, he has taken all of Wallace's flesh and tongue, shaping him into an actual walrus with tusks and flippers. All he can do now is hop and scream as he is chained up. Howard tells him about how he was orphaned as a boy after his parents were killed, and the years of sexual and mental abuse he received, leading him to hate humans. Howard forces him to swim in the water around him. Underwater, Wallace sees what looks like the corpse of another man that was turned into a walrus, still decomposing.

Ally and Teddy get to Canada and try to call the police, but they get hung up on after Ally tells them the podcast site, "NotSeeParty.com" (because it sounds like "nazi", get it?). They meet a detective, Frank Garmin (Ralph Garman), who says there is no record of anyone named Howard Howe in the area. He does give Ally and Teddy the number of a friend of his - French-Canadian Detective Guy LaPointe (Johnny Depp). Ally and Teddy meet him in a fast food place where he says he knew of a man that has reportedly capture about 23 victims and dismembered them. Two years earlier, Guy met Howard when he was posing as a disabled man named Bartholomew. Guy was searching for a missing hockey player, though Howard called about a spider. Guy later found the hockey player's torso clogging up a sewage pipe, and Howard disappeared. He tells Ally and Teddy that most victims had their leg bone in their mouth. Guy recalls hearing from a victim's mother that this mystery killer is creating a monster.

Howard continues to torment Wallace by making him swim with him in the water while nude. He then feeds him a single mackerel.

Ally, Teddy, and Guy go to a convenience store where two clerks (Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp) saw Wallace and recognize him as Mr. Mustache. They give Guy the notepad where Wallace wrote the address to Bifrost by shading over the pad with a pencil to get the letters last written on the pad.

Howard puts on his own walrus flesh suit to fight with Wallace, after revealing that he had to kill the original Mr. Tusk and feed off him to stay alive. He thinks man is a horrible species, and the walrus is more noble and dignified, and so he is trying to restore honor to Mr. Tusk by having his man-walrus experiments fight him back. He forces Wallace to fight him, just as Ally, Teddy and Guy come across this place, packing guns with them. They hear Wallace screaming and follow the sound. Howard sheds the suit and tries to fight Wallace as a man by killing him with a hammer, but Wallace's "inner walrus" takes over and impales Howard's foot with his tusk. He gets him down and begins to impale him through the chest with his tusks, right before Ally and Teddy come in. As Howard dies, Ally cries when she sees what Wallace has become. Guy comes in and aims his shotgun at Wallace while Ally pleads with him not to shoot. Wallace lets out one more scream, and then...

ONE YEAR LATER

Ally and Teddy go to the Manitoba Exotic Animal Sanctuary. Wallace is now in his own little area with a dirty pool. Ally tosses him a fish so he can come out. Wallace eats the fish and looks at Ally as she calls him. We see one more flashback with Ally commenting on how Wallace can't cry. He thinks only babies cry. In the present, Ally tells Wallace she loves him. He sheds a tear. Ally and Teddy leave. Wallace briefly appears to look at the audience before going back into his home.