LET'S BE COPS
NOTE: This spoiler was submitted by Anonymous
*This spoiler is from an earlier screening, and sometimes, minor details may change.
The movie opens with Ryan (Jake Jonshon) singing karaoke to Justin (Damon Wayons, Jr) in a pizza place. After the song, Justin explains that he’s depressed that they’re both 30 year old losers, living in LA and maybe it’s time to go back to Ohio. Ryan doesn’t work and Justin is unhappy in his job as an assistant for a video game developer. Justin also has a crush on the waitress Josie (Nina Dobrev), but is too scared to talk to her.
The two head out to a dance club where they’re ignored by everyone. They leave, and Ryan’s junker Camaro dies out front after the valet brings it up. Everyone in line is laughing at them. The large SUV behind them is beeping and flashing its lights. Finally, Ryan gets it started and pulls out as the SUV whips past. The vehicles collide. Ryan gets out and starts to yell at the people in the SUV. Everyone inside the SUV looks like Albanian mafia. In the rear, flanked by two hot ladies is a scary guy with a scar over his eye. They laugh at Ryan.
The next day, Justin is at work pitching his video game idea Patrolman LA. As a visual aid, he has two mannequins dressed as LAPD. The staff at the company is thoroughly disinterested and his boss decides that Firemen are hotter…as are zombies…the company should start work on Firefighters versus Zombies.
Ryan is playing football in the park with a bunch of small children and aggressively destroying them. One of the kids is angry and asks Ryan what he does all day. He returns to his dad, who asks who Ryan is and the kid explains that he’s a nobody who thinks he’s a coach.
Justin returns to the apartment he and Ryan share. Ryan is dressed as a ghost because they’re going to a costume party in June. Justin doesn’t like the ghost costume so instead they both go as LAPD using the uniforms from earlier. Justin lies and says the company bought his game idea.
Turns out it’s not a costume party, but a black tie masquerade ball. All of their old friends are there (even though it’s established that they’re both from Ohio and this is LA). For some reason, they’re playing Ryan’s big college football moment on the television. His old friends ask what ever happened to him. He tells them he was injured. They clarify that they mean what ever happened to him in life. He says he did a commercial (herpes commercial) once.
Feeling like losers again, Justin and Ryan leave the party (still dressed as cops). Justin confesses that he didn’t sell the game. As they walk down the street, they can’t help to notice that women are checking them out big time. Then a group of women run up and kiss them, explaining it’s for a scavenger hunt. They confiscate and smoke weed from some young guys. They dig being mistaken for cops.
They go back to the pizza place from before and…what a coincidence…the SUV from the night before is there. They go inside and interrupt the Albanian mob henchmen from trying to muscle the shop owner Georgie into selling his business. Justin and Ryan make the mafia guys leave and everyone cheers. Josie takes a liking to Justin and they set up a date.
The next day, Ryan watches videos online on how to be a cop. He also finds a used cop car on Ebay. He texts Justin at work asking when they can go out as cops again. Justin isn’t sure it’s a good idea. Then he gets a message from his boss telling him to be prepared to take notes during the Firefighters versus Zombies meeting. Justin leaves work.
On his way home, Justin is pulled over by a cop car. Inside it’s actually Ryan. He bought the car and lights online and made the door decals at Kinko’s. He also gave himself sergeant stripes because he felt he deserved a promotion.
The two screw around in the car all day, but that night they’re pulled over by real cops Officer Segars (Rob Riggle) and his partner see Ryan’s sergeant stripes and apologize. Right when Justin and Rob are about to drive away, the alarm from the hardware store they’re all in front of sounds. All four go inside.
The real cops and fake cops split up. The fake cops encounter a tweaking Asian armed with a shovel. He runs off, but the coast isn’t clear. A large naked Asian man charges them and tackles Justin. His dick and balls smear across Justin’s face. The real cops come in and tell them they should all split up again to find the shovel guy. Instead, Justin and Ryan run off. Segars notices, but doesn’t stop them.
The Albanian mafia guys report back to their boss that some beat cops stopped them at Georgie’s pizza place. Their boss is Mossi (James D’Arcy), the scar face guy from the back of the SUV. Mossi is angry and says that he’s the law in town.
The next day Ryan takes his police car to the park and scares the kids from earlier. Justin and Josie go on a date. Her dream is to be a make up artist. She tells him she tends to attract the wrong kind of guys. For example, there’s one guy now who’s super intense and scares her (yeah, of course it’s going to be Mossi). He tries to tell her that he’s not really a cop, but she takes off her top and he’s rendered speechless. Outside, henchmen in the SUV watch everything through the window.
Ryan and Justin are out “patrolling” when they get a call for a domestic disturbance at a sorority house. Naturally they go. A hot girl answers the door and says two of the girls are fighting. The two fighting girls are kinda like “Flava of Love” cast members and viciously girl fighting. Ryan and Justin try to break it up, but one of the girls kicks both of their asses.
Later Josie calls Justin in a panic and asks him to come to the pizza place. Ryan and Justin go there and meet Mossi. Mossi tells Justin to stay away from his girl and slaps him silly. Ryan tries to stand up to him, but Mossi doesn’t back down. Justin decides it’s time to stop being a fake cop.
The next day Justin looks up online exactly how illegal it is to impersonate an officer. He decides he and Ryan should go to the police station and turn themselves in. However, Segars sees them and pulls them aside. Justin tells him about Mossi trying to muscle the pizza place. Segars says he knows about Mossi, but there isn’t enough money in the budget for an investigation. Ryan volunteers themselves to investigate on their own. They check out a bunch of equipment from the police station and stake out Mossi’s compound.
Ryan is now wearing a suit and has his badge on a chain around his neck. He’s promoted himself to detective. They go to a nearby apartment to get a better angle to stake out the compound. The apartment is owned by a scene stealing Natasha Leggero who is rolling on Ecstasy. She gets hot for a man in uniform. Ryan goes back to his uniform. They see Mossi get a shipment of large black crates and meet with Andy Garcia. Andy Garcia tells Mossi to lay low because…he pulls a picture of Ryan and Justin out of an envelope…these guys. Their badge numbers don’t match up and he thinks they might be Feds. Naturally, Justin and Ryan are excited to be mistaken for Feds.
They need more evidence, particularly to know what was in those black crates, so they take off and pull over the delivery truck that brought them to Mossi. They get it and kidnap the driver Pupa (Keegan-Michael Key). They infectively try to torture him, but he explains that he’ll help because he doesn’t like Mossi either. Mossi is having a party tonight and if they get in, they can find out what’s in the cases. Josie comes over and helps make up Justin to look like Pupa.
At the party, Mossi forces “Pupa” to smoke Crank. He fights and beats one of the henchmen and lets Ryan into the building. They go in the basement and find that inside the crates are confiscated weapons from the police.
Ryan wants to continue, but Justin tells him everything has gone too far. Everyone thinks Ryan is a loser and his big injury that kept him from playing football happened while he when he jumped off a roof at a party. Ryan tells Justin that he’s a coward and never stands up for himself.
Ryan goes to the police station and tells Segars what they found. Also says the reason Mossi was muscling the pizza place is because it’s at the other end of a tunnel and that’s how Mossi keeps hiding evidence when the police raids him. He’s a about to show Segars what he found, but before he can, Segars decides they should bring the cop in charge of internal investigations in on this. What a surprise, it’s Andy Garcia! Segars leaves for a moment and Garcia looks at the evidence. Ryan tells him that he made copies.
Ryan goes home in a panic as Justin decides to stand up for himself and pitch his game again. Firefighters versus Zombies is a disaster. Justin’s pitch serves as a voice over for Ryan’s action. Justin’s game isn’t just a game, it’s an experience. It lets you feel the intensity and action of being a real cop and in a fire fight. Ryan goes home and it looks clear, but when he turns around, he’s shot in the chest with a shotgun. Luckily it’s a Hollywood shotgun and he’s wearing a Hollywood vest, because instead of killing him, it just blows him out the window and onto the dumpster below. He runs as he’s being shot at by the mafia. A crooked cop crashes Justin’s pitch and a shoot out starts up. Justin runs away and his boss says, “Now that’s a pitch! Let’s make that game.”
The mafia kidnaps Ryan. Mossi calls Justin and tells him to come or Ryan’s dead. Justin calls Segars and comes clean about everything. In the basement of the compound, Mossi and Garcia torture Ryan. Justin sneaks in through the basement of the pizza place, coming clean to Josie on the way. Riggle shows up at Mossi’s and Garcia is going to get rid of him. Before he’s out of ear shot though, he hears Ryan telling Mossi that Garcia is going to kill him too to cover up all lose ends. Garcia goes back to kill Ryan, but Mossi kills Garcia instead. Justin hears the gunshot and runs to the rescue. He doesn’t have a gun though. Luckily Segars does, and he’s also on the scene. He shoots one of the henchmen, prompting Mossi and the rest to run off.
Segars is going to give chase, but first tells Justin and Ryan to leave because a police outfit isn’t a costume, it’s a uniform. They decide they have to cover Segars’ back, so they grab some of the stolen weapons and go to help. They’re not good at it and it looks like Segars is down, so they run away.
Mossi chases them, shoots Justin and fights Ryan. Justin grabs the gun and tries to shoot Mossi, but accidentally shoots Ryan instead. Before Mossi can kill them, Segars shows up, kills Mossi and saves the day. He lets Justin and Ryan go and doesn’t turn them in.
Justin’s game, now called Brothers in Blue is a hit. Ryan becomes a cop for real. Justin asks Josie for a chance to start over and they kiss.
Over the end credits, there are various scenes of Ryan and Justin acting inappropriately while dressed as cops.